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Taken from The Bund across the Huangpu River. Amazing isn't it. It will be much more amazing if I have got a DSLR with me.


They don't have shopping malls like we do in smaller city, so we have to walk quite a distance to get things that we want. Walk walk walk...



Nearby a Chinese Temple...loadsa stairs... :(



Isn't she cute? She's one the the many typical Chinese girl in one of the many old village in Jiangnan Province. Really cute one, she's so sweet she offered me a sweet that she's holding.


Another temple. One of the many many temples that I have visited. All are situated up on very high hills. Now I have got muscular legs. Muahaha...

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I m not happy...I m sad...I feel so lonely...oh so lonely. The trip was great but I feel lonely. I was wondering why I got there with my aunt? I feel so so so lonely after nearly more than half a year after my break up. Wahaha...finally I know I m normal afterall. I should have dated the tour guide...I should have...Dats when I think I m very dependable on people mentally.

Anyway on the other hand, I had a series of unfortunate events when I was there. I tripped 3 times (2 times on the streets of Hangzhou because some Chinese man stepped on my specs and I can't see the road clearly, one time in front of the largest Buddha statue in the world in Wuxi...maybe becoz I never pray), mistakenly went into a male's toilet becoz I don't understand the sign on the door...and I saw an uncle doing his business there turned red, sprained my ankle 5 times, bought a very expensive item which I don't really like that much, it costs me a BOMB just becoz my aunt likes it...I had "free-shows" everyday in the public toilet (because Chinese women there don't like to close the door when they are doing their "business")...and so on...

The thing I like the most about China would be the weather...I like winter, those cold chilly weather...it feels so much nicer and less tiring. We visited nearly all the Chinese gardens available in Jiangnan Province (which kinda bore me), Chinese temples (which I don't really go and I don't understand a single Chinese words written on the boards), climb loadsa stairs, travelled a lot, too much to say it here but it's better to travel in a cold weather rather than the sticky hot Malaysian weather. It was below 0 degrees nearly every night...it feels so nice but I don't like the clothing part, too many to carry and wear. But I still like winter...woo...can't wait for another winter. It feels so hot here, so humid, I m actually sweating like a pig now.

I m just too tired to continue. Most of my tour mates got sick and some vomitted inside the plane. Poor thing. I know I m going to get sick soon enough becoz my body already started to ache. Another day tomorrow...New semester starts tomorrow. My nightmare begins now!!!

Seriously, I think One Utama should add more parking places. It took me nearly half an hour to find a parking lot and half an hour to wait for the cars slowly moving to get out from the building. And that's not frustfrating until your friend decided to cancel the "date". He's lucky I didn't get angry, but then he turn up becoz I told him to take his time but please "do show ur face". And then he's a bad influence, now that I spent nearly RM500 today, and I nearly got this:

Isn't that a beauty? My hands just can't stop caressing it...aww...and I duno if the salesman keeps on brain washing me or my friend who keeps on saying this is good compared to his Nikon D80 or it is becoz of love at first sight? It has all I want but the thing is I have to spend a lot in uprading them as time goes by...A LOT (definately in the future)...most important of all are the features...I m paying tonnes for the features. Jeez. It makes me feel guilty. Should I get it? My Shanghai trip already costs me more than 3K...This one 4K...Too much for my Christmas present from me to me don't you think?

Falling in Love...with Shanghai

I m so gonna like Shanghai I think. I was browsing thru Flickr for Shanghai photos and oh man...my passion for photography is getting higher and higher despite the cold weather there (min -1). And also it makes me feel that I really need a DSLR as in taking pictures the proper way after years of using my 2 faithful Nikon digicams. The reason why I don't wanna get it since I started out as a photographer is that my boss only pay me peanuts compared to what he paid for GettyImages. Hmmph...But now it seems that my interest is more important that comparing the pay. Oh well, since he's so nice to me all these while...I m gonna get one next month after my first pay in 2007, yeap, he only pay me like 2-3 times a year. So now there are 3 DSLR which I like very very much, which one should I get...Sony...Canon...or a Nikon...Hmm....decisions again...(sigh).

Can't wait for Shanghai.

Oh my kezboard is so so german now...I duno whz it is like tis...z becoming y and y becoming z and umlauts when I wanna use the aprostrophe, it becames an... ä...whz whz whz...I cant even tzpe a question mark...LOL. It is nearlz 2.30 am now. I canät sleep.

Everyone....no matter what...you must really really watch Borat for once in your life. It's really funny. It's been quite a while since I laugh like a mad dog in front of the screen. No doubt, Malaysia gonna ban it for sure. No way we can watch it in cinemas. But it's worth the watch. Kudos to Sascha Baron Cohen (the lead actor). Brave act, silly enough, I don't think any other actors dare to do whatever you did in Borat.

Yeah, you see, I spend my pathetic days now with watching a new movie everyday. It was Happy Feet yesterday, Borat today and Breakfast at Tiffany's tomorrow. I stop eating like a pig becoz I m out of food and also I got bored of eating like that. Finally!!!

I m still thinking of my decision to temporary stop work. Still need an answer. But I m in no rush though. Another alternative would be continue working but not so much, just enough to cover my spendings...maybe that's better.

Oh yah, before I forget....Happy Birthday Julian!!! Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!!!

Decisions decisions

What a busy week...with piles of photos to be edited, tonnes of news to be read, and loadsa other things to be done. I just love working for now. Loadsa things to learn, new experiances, etc etc. On the other hand, I m considering of stopping work for the next one and a half years. Which means focus 100% on my studies (which I never did before in my life) till I graduate. For once...I felt like wanting to have good results again. It's so not me to say that. But it's the most positive thing I've ever decided in years. Tough decision there becoz I m used to spending "quite a sum" every month. It's gonna be tough. I m not sure yet. If I really do that, I have to forget about my DSLR, my holidays, etc etc...which I think it's impossible. Very impossible. A habit of 4 years can't be changed in just one day.

I can't depend on my parents as they won't give me what I want. So the question is, to stop or not to stop? If I stop, I will be able to get better results as in more A's and no longer the "just pass" me. But if that happens, my perfectionism will come back again. I suffer from my perfectionism years ago, making me suffer as I wanted to make sure everyting is 100%. And when I was 16, I learn to let go. And from there, I m a happier person. I learn to let every tough/sad emotions easily. Why do I choose to have better results when it doesn't bother me at all since I came to this world? Peer pressure I guess. I feel there's a need to be better than what I m now. Rushing to finish assigments in 3-5 days when other people took 2-3 months...it's not good. Study last minute for exams and tests...it's not good. Guessing the vocabularies with every available answers for every questions asked...it's bad. Opening my book (for the subject I dislike) only when it's the end of the semester...it's hopeless. Hmm...should I stop? But when I stop I cant guarentee to stay with my books. I might end up having other plans since I m always doing someting...Awww...can't make up my mind.

For now I think I m having some kinda eating disorder. I can't stop eating. I don't feel full at all. Everyday, I drank half a bottle of mango yogurt drink, 2 granola bars, 2 units of mango pudding, banana and nuts cereals, 5 mochis, and that's excluding meals. And I m still feeling very hungry now. Gonna dig for food now. And think...

Heart Attack

This morning I woke up, showered, put on some nice presentable clothes, make-up...becoz need to look good besides representing my company's image and giving good first impression(whom I thought is my boss's sister-in-law). And to my horror...he's actually my boss's wife. WTF??? I really can't accept it. Too shocking and it gave me a small heart attack. I got so shocked, I couldn't help but to feel very uneasy. I thought he already had erm....2. And this should be number 3. She knew about the other 2. And she's okay with it. I feel so uneasy. And then her 2 kids keeps on hugging and kissing me for one whole day. They don't want to let me go. Oh gawd!!! I m beginning to dislike kids. Seriously. For a while it's okay. I just can't imagine me having one. Not in the near future. So there I m giving "lecture" for hours and hours. Teaching her how to operate the printer aswell, basically doing everything like from A to Z. Went to KLCC aswell and also taking care of her 2 kids indirectly becoz they don't want to let me go...hugging and kissing me all the way. My face is full of their saliva now. I m so damn sticky like UHU glue and tired both mentally and physically.

On the other hand, I can't imagine the loneliness of having to share a husband to 2 other women. She told me everyting although I just met her today. A really nice lady who had gone through a lot of things. This I can tell. I m not as "generous" as her. I can't share my man like that. Impossible. Is it becoz of money? Or there're true love?

But the best thing would always be the food. For tea time she brought me to this lil indian shop selling all sorts of Indian cuisine and there I m eating like a pig becoz I've been starving for whole half day without lunch. I ate like a pig, tasted all sorts of curry and spicy food. I feel so relieve. Becoz I can't tell anyone how weird it felt to train my boss's WIFE. Although it may seem like a normal situation which I don't really have to over-react about it. But I know loads more, i know some secrets...u know...secrets...

I can say today went well, I got a chance to learn new things and given a chance to do more work which means more pay. Wahahaha...soon I will be able to get my dream holiday soon or my dream DSLR. Hopefully...

And again, I get the same comment from the people I trained. "I was expecting a woman in her 30's to train me, I didnt expect someone young like you. You looked like a 16 year old to me. I got so shocked".

I m not happy when people say I look like 16 becoz it makes me feel small and useless.

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I met 2 taxi drivers today. Both flirted with me so much I can't take it anymore I felt like slapping them in their face but I hafta remain calm...They wanted to give me their numbers aswell but I told them I don't need them. Bahahaha...

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Tomorrow's a Sunday. And since I m smart enough for today to teach her everything in one day. I m free tomorrow. Finally. But I've got no plans for tomorrow. What should I do? Work again? Work is fun when there're people competing with you. Since it's a Sunday. Hmmm...maybe spring clean the house again...

Changes changes

*Breathes in*
*Breathes out*
*Phewwww*

What I dislike the most about people is that their constant changes in their plans and people like me have to follow their plan. First is the person I m trainning (5 days late), second is the trip. How can that tour agent made the wrong reservation and wrong place. I wanted a Shanghai not a Beijing. Jeez...And also I found out that, the person I m about to train is my Boss's sister-in-law. Which is quite freaky. So so freaky. Okay, I got to go back to do some chores now. Ta!

Remember December

Wabedabedoo...zubadeboo...badeboo...singing back to my normal life after 2 weeks of holiday doing nothing but climbing loadsa stairs, baking myself in the sun, eating loadsa loadsa food, etc etc. With loadsa funny stuff happening in between. Being stupid and forgetful for the whole 2 weeks, lost my cellphone, being able to buy a Children ticket at the Singapore Science Centre, being "underweight", getting loadsa phone numbers from loadsa taxi drivers (from Hairy to Non Hairy), found out that there're more good looking guys in Penang than in KL, more cute chicks in Singapore than in Malaysia, found out that birds are scary, taken loadsa pictures, ate loadsa food, spent loadsa money, found out why Muar is called Muar, found out that there're loadsa staircases in Malaysia (which I don't really like), met loadsa friendly people and best of all being "married" without kids (so interesting that people like to urge you to have kids becoz it's a "LOVE" thing...loadsa things which I can't list down here becoz the list is so long...it streches from North to South of Malaysia. But it's really funny...I felt so stupid all the time.

So now, after the holiday, I've got loadsa things coming up. Can't wait for another holiday again...Seriously.

Let's see...what I have to do before my uni starts again:

4: uni subjects registration, work
5: passport photo for China Visa and banking stuff, work
6: work in the morning, meeting friends in the evening maybe or spa/facial in the evening
7: whole day reserve for friends (if I don't show up they will put some GPRS thing inside my body so that they know where I go)
8: work, edit photos, spring clean the house again
9: Give training, work
10: Give training, work
11 till 16: Work work work (free for movies, coffee, etc, just gimme a call)
17 till 24: Shanghai Trip
25: Christmas (probably stay in bed...recovering from jetlag
26: Uni starts (my nightmare begins here)

So, this is my December. Another busy month indeed.

Me and Malaysia

Yesterday, I woke up at 4am. Got ready and all to fetch a friend who's coming all the way from Germany. Since then I sweat non-stop till I got back home in the evening. The weather is okay, not too hot and not so sunny compared to the days before but it's hot enough to make me sweat. I think my bra is soaking up all my sweat and going heavy everytime I sweat. So, it's like a water reservoir when I got back home. No one knew that...hehe...Everytime I saw the sun, I just feeling like dipping into a pool.

Went around KL and I didn't know KL have so many things to see. I feel I m not a Malaysian at all. Very unMalaysian feeling. But it was a good experiance. Today would be another day. I'm gonna have no time to blog. So c u guys...

Gawd!!!

Finally...finally...the day I've been waiting for since this semester started. OMG!!! I m so happy for now. I m finally free of exams for this year...not next year. Next year I got 2 more times to go to torture myself. Jeez. But I havent go so far yet. So now I m happy and feeling happy and being happy. It feels better than winning a lottery. I feel exhausted and tired now. Went shopping just now. I think I gained 10kgs from the last holiday. Everything can't fit me. Is it becoz Malaysia girls are normally small size or it's just me? Feels sad though, like why some people can just fit it watever clothes they want. I m having inferiority complex at the moment. Huhuhu...
I wanted to sleep while lining up to pay. I just wanna sleep on the floor without caring what people think. It's very exhausting mentally and physically. This is the most stressful semester I've ever had. The most torturous one. I know next year gonna be more stressfull becoz I have a lecturer (who's as fierce as a tiger...nono...fiercer than any tigers...more like T-Rex) who will be teaching us. Jeez man....so much for suffering. That's next year...I m not gonna talk about it. Just wanna pass everyting and dats it. Bye bye University of Malaya.
Gonna be very busy these few days. Spring cleaning, pick up some postage stuff, work, work and more work to do. That's just for tomorrow. Woo...I m back. The normal me is back. Hopefully I can be 100% back to normal. You see...I don't even know what I m writting now. I m half asleep now...ZZZzzzzz.....Nevermind, let me rumble jumble for a while. My hands don't wanna stop typing, they told me they haven't type anything for a while and they missed typing. Nanananana....
Oh...I can't stand it anymore...See you in Dreamland.....ZzZZZzzzzz

Plans after the my last paper

Wooo...I m getting so so so excited. I m gonna feed myself and my friends (especially someone who came a long way here...ahem ahem) as much as we could and turn into big fat pigs before hitting back to reality (work, school, dillema) after the exams. I m gonna take loadsa pictures as I don't really know Malaysia myself, gonna dig thru snakeholes, racoon-holes, fly-holes for treasures. A lotsa wonderful things. I just can't wait.

Okay, here's the plan...
After my last paper, the moment I pass up my answer sheets, I m going to....
1) Breathe and breathe and smile and try not to regret anything

2) Go back, do some housekeeping as I turned my room into a jungle since my exam fever started. Sleep. And then dinner with my very-kesian-friend-whom-I-didn't-see-for-ages, Mr. David.

3) The next day, go shopping, buy someting for myself, bloodbath!!! It's been ages since I step into a shopping complex. Pick my friend from her house, gonna roam half of Malaysia with her since she didn't really have a holiday before. Anyone wanna join me? Oh Mike, you wan a cuppa? Starbucks okay?

4) Early in the morning, before the sun comes up, will then rush to KLIA to pick my very special guest. Then start to tour KL-Mallacca-Muar-Singapore-Penang-KL for 2 weeks. It's seems so short though, we should visit the east coast aswell but not enough time. :(
Gonna roll on any beach, gonna eat like nobody's business, I don't care if I m fat since I m single...muahahaha...I m loving my tummy to bits. *shy*

5) Planning a trip to Shanghai, China, with my aunt. My very stressful aunt needs a holiday badly...Why not? It's December babe, my best buddy gonna fly back to KK and leave me alone here. *sob*

6) I m doing a secret project. Muahaha...I m gonna get it done by January. And then got loadsa preparation to do. Hopefully it works.

7) As for work, I will hafta give trainning to 2 people. No idea who it will be. Hopefully everything goes well. Gonna catch up with my working stuff aswell. I've abandon work since October.

8) New semester gonna start, all those stupid registration thing again. My 4th semester on 26th of December. Spoil my mood!!! :( I really really for the 15,737th time...I hate studying.

9) Gonna try to loose some weight after gaining so much weight. I don't want to spoil all my clothes.

10) Survey for a new handphone. My phone has been giving me weird sounds as if an alien were trapped inside. Time to get a new one after 2 long years. My longest phone ever.

11) Charities. Gonna find some place, help the needies. It's been ages since I do that. People say I m very ignorant (which is not true at all, I care for everyone, just that I m too busy sometimes and also I don't look like I care, which is very sad), very selfish (wooo, my ear hurts when I heard this, seriously it's like accusing you of stealing the chicken when you are vegetarian). So I need some time alone, for the community, not gonna care what people think.

So far, that's my plan. Don't know if it's gonna work out. Hopefully....

Bad Attitude: Is it me or other people?

I woke up today with loadsa things to do, loadsa last minute revision to be done, stress stress and more stress. Then I wanted to check my Yahoo mail so I on my very-rusty Yahoo Messenger (changed my status to BUSY), suddenly out of no where...came this bugger who existed a long time in my rusted YM, whom I don't really remember.

Somebody: dunker sher for remembering me
Me: what are u talking?
Somebody: which part
Me: pls dont speak german
Somebody: ahaa!!! u r a german language student
Somebody: unless u are so terribly poor
Somebody: never the less, i cant forget u
Somebody: i enjoy our relations
Me: number one...i m a german language student yes...but u r speaking it terribly
Me: number 2...do i have any relationship with you?
Somebody: i know, at least i say it how i know best
Somebody: chat only relation, im sorry
Me: it doesnt matter...it's still wrong
Somebody: i have been to germany 4 times, you?
Me: good for you then
Me: now leave me alone
Me: i m busy
Somebody: u do have a serious attitude problem
Me: yes when someone speaks bad german that it
Somebody: u were 18 when i first knew u
Somebody: now u became a monster
Me: i m happy to become a monster
Me: you're not supposed to msg me at this time of the day
Me: like i said i m busy
Somebody: ok, i will remember this.

Can't he understand the busy sign on my YM? Now I look like a baddie. My blood was boiling when he mentioned the word "relations". And now I m a monster. Okay, a good start before I become Godzilla. I hate Yahoo Messenger, I mean the people in it. Not the first time though. And also some people who misuse Skype.

Guys, please try this:
1. Put ur gender as female
2. Put a girl's pic
3. Put ur status as online or "Skype Me" mode

Within minutes, you'll get people asking you for cyber-sex. Oh my god!!! Where's my privacy? I have to put my mode as online becoz I need my friends and colleagues to know my availability to talk. Now I have to appear "Away" most of the time. Please dont misuse Skype. Respect other people's privacy.

Looks like I m having a bad day....very early in the morning...

Furiously Furious

I m so so so so so fumingly flamingly furiously furious. How could I let an Aunty cut my hair. I've vowed not to let any Aunty touch my hair. Oh my GAWDDDD....Although it's just the front fringe (because I no longer can see the road clearly with my hair covering half of my face)...it's so so so inacceptable...Oh man...If I m pretty like Jessica Alba I don't care how bad the hairstyle is, but since I m not her and I m me...and now I've got this stupid fringe...How am I going to meet anyone? I feel like "marinating" myself at home and not to meet anyone until my hair grow longer.

This is not the first time. There's once I pay quite a lot for a professional haircut and then not even 2 weeks after that...my grandaunt insists me to get a haircut becoz she can't accept that style and then she brought (more like dragged) me to this little shop in Thailand where you can feel technology stops there...there goes an Aunty holding a pair of scissors and a small little comb...she started to cut while I just shut my eyes and pray. When I opened my eyes...I couldn't say anything...I m stuck with bad hairstyle for 2 blardy months!!! My heart was crying so loud the scissors can hear me. I m vain, vain and very vain when it comes to my hair.

Oh gosh...this time is with my grandma. History repeats again itself. I m not going to any place with scissors, comb and shampoo with any old woman anymore. It's too dangerous. I can't take the risk because I'm weak with old women, I can't say NO, because I dont want to dissapoint them. Oh no...I felt like having a heart attack now. So SAD...

When I grow up, I wanna be a Godzilla

I wanna become a Godzilla when I grow up, so that I can stamp on all those bad people I've collected in a place. And then I wanna eat lotsa of food with just one mouth. *Yum Yum*.

Becoming a Godzilla means not having to spend anything at all. I dont have to wear any nice clothes, no nid to buy cosmetics, and also I can travel around the world by walking. How convenient. I don't have to apply for a passport aswell and go to places where it's impossible to go.

And that also means that I hafta wait for other Godzillas to visit me which might take ages. :(

(Having severe exam stress...)

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I salute people with good memory who could memorise the whole book without any problem. Not only one book but a few books. I adi felt like dying trying to memorise the facts of a chapter. I have never memorise so many things in my life. So now, I m ready to repeat that blardy paper next semester, I m so positive of repeating it because it's someting I could not do. I really wanna become Godzilla and stamp on people who came up with this subject. How gross!!!

Peace everyone...peace....

Loadsa Love,

Dee

Smarty smart smarties

This is what happens when I feel I need to be smart a bit...(I need the smart-factor in me so that I can remember all the facts and stupid reasons and also theories for this coming finals)

1. Eat loadsa fish. Fish makes you smart (that's what people say). I can eat loadsa fish when it comes to my favourite fish dish. So today I had fish for dinner and guess what, I think I ate one of those little fish bones aswell and it's swimming around my throat. It's still swimming and I think it's doing some butterfly, freestyle and also some breast-stroke...muahahhaha...so ticklish. Maybe the little boney is practising for the Olympics. Jeez. How can I eat the fish bone aswell? Hurts like hell. Help!!!

2. Over indulge in books and papers. Now my study room is in a mess with papers flying everywhere, books lying everywhere where you can't see the floor. And I don't know what had I read. My brain still feels very empty.

3. Ignoring real living things such as family members, plants, moving things. I've been living alone with books since the Ice Age. I don't think I know anything about the outside world as in what happening in my neighbourhood. I still know the news, thank god! Thanks to the internet. You see... I know Saddam gonna die soon, this Sunday. See...I read the news.

4. Exercise. OMG. Don't have time. But I did try to move around a bit. I don't wanna become a full grown whale or elephant after my exams.

5. Smarties makes you happy. But I can't get hold of any Smarties since I didnt go out. So, to some people out there...*hint hint*. Send me some smarties...*hint hint*. Sharing is caring. Hehe.

Last but not least, good luck to everyone who's struggling last minute for finals. To those who hate/anti exams like me...try to love them. That's what I m doing.

;)

Denying the time and truth

It's been a very busy week for me. It's actually "study week" now but I misuse it. I don't do it intentionally but un-intentionally. I'm supposed to use this (very precious) time to study and not work, but instead of burying my head to the books, I bury myself into the computer, I think the computer has become apart of me, like an important organ for work and play. I regret. I do regret of not studying, my coursemates who came online told me they have all studied for this and that subject, while me...busy giving trainning, having meetings and discussions with my boss, colleagues and so on. Oh...and still I m denying the fact that I've got not much time left. I really hope now that I've got some superpowers to help me in my exams. My finals starting this 8th. Jeez...I m getting the allergies now. I m allergic to exams.

On the other hand, I've been eating like a pig, due to severe stress and exams-allergy and also apart of the leftovers of DeepaRaya. Okay, I need to exercise...I really need to exercise.

How to sleep?

Oh people...help. It's 3am and I m still WIDE AWAKE. I cant sleep. I keep on dancing to the music, keep on singing like mad and yet I m not tired nor sleepy. I m the champion in the family when it comes to sleeping but why can't I sleep?

Hmmm

I miss smooth internet connection. It's really hard for me to get online at my own house. Not a good day for me though. Loadsa things happened in a day. In just a day's time. My dogs fought, my sisters got injured, I got injured more like emotionally. I still havent touched my books yet for my finals. My "abandoned"-workplace gave me some issues. I was in a mess just now. I couldn't express myself but to laugh and laugh and laugh like mad. No words can describe that. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I need a holiday badly. I need to break free and fly...around the world. That's what I want...(please let me dream for a while, reality sux) A brief entry today. Awww...*hugs everyone*

Impressing a good impression

Now that I realised that I m indeed a very busy young lady. I didnt realise time flies so fast. I thought tomorrow is Deepavali but sadly it's 2 days ago. I can't believe that I m that ignorant. Not to say ignorant. I didnt sleep for 26 hours rushing for my IR assignment. Just a few minutes nap in between, then the next day I was like a zombie...walking around without knowing what I m doing. And while eating, I can't really taste the food. And the effect lasted till today.

After my uni stuff...then came my uncle's girlfriend's family. They will be here for a week for holiday. Because he's my only uncle, and of course as his niece, I play a very important role of giving them a good impression of the family and Malaysia. They are here to see the family background, so of course we have to look the best and treat them the best. I hope I didnt dissapoint them. I can see that they know I m tired. Can you imagine that me with my-zombie-ness-and-trying-to-leave-a-good-impression face? So, I've been busy serving them, telling them about Malaysia, the history, the people, the food and stuff. So that's like 40 percent of my remaining energy.

Then my friends wanted to celebrate my brithday with me, yes, a belated one. So, I went back to my parent's house, got lost 3 times in my own area. And then celebrated. It's so nice to catch up my my old friends and talked about the good old days in school. There goes my 15% of my renmaining energy.

And then my boss, out of no where came and tell me that I have to train an Iraqi guy somewhere in KL. I was like...OMG. It's kay, it will only take 2-3 hours. But I havent confirm the time yet. But this thing still bothers me because it's still a pending thing inside my brain.

Then my finals is coming. Loadsa things to be done. Jeez. I hate studying. Seriously. Euksss. *puke*

Then, some banking stuff, business related stuff, friend's stuff due this month....OMG...that's quite a lot of things to be done. Tomorrow my responsiblity to impress my future aunt's family is here again. Oh man, I really hope I can. This is for my one and only uncle in the world. For his future. See how much I love u uncle. *hugs*

The day I got my golden key(s)

I celebrated my birthday a few days earlier due to several reasons...because of incomplete assignments and tests and etc etc. So last Saturday was it. Although the joy of celebrating my own birthday is no longer there but it was good to know there're people who still remember and treasure you despite of being missing in action for nearly a year.

First suprise of all : 2 Cakes. The last time I had my own birthday cake would be somewhere before the new millenium. Lucky I have my best buddies to celebrate with me. Although there're no cakes like these, it was a "priceless" feeling.


2nd suprise: A gift from dad. For the very first time in 21 years, he gave me this. My first ever birthday present from him. (That's what's it's like to live in a materialistic family that cares more about money more than any other thing). But I m really happy.



3rd: 2 Golden keys to mark ur freedom. I think my parents should give me a golden lock instead, since I roam the world freely since I was 16. Earlier this year, they said I m "incontrollable". I wonder what that means.


And also loadsa gift and red packets from others. Thank you very much. Everyting is double this year. Including my text messages. Keeps on coming in till now. Thanks a lot people.

Okay...now I gotta get my ass back to my 3000 words assignment due this friday. Test tomorrow aswell. Duh...potong stim je...spoil the fun. If today's friday night, I'm gonna rock the whole world. Jeez...

Treats for everyone....if there's an "IF"

I miss everyone. Everyone misses me aswell...Wahahaha. I m going crazy for now. Classes from 8am-6pm non stop can drive everyone crazy. My life is moving 4 times faster than before. How do I know? Well...

During the holiday (without working) my life moves on the scale of 0-1
During the holiday (with work) my life moves on the scale of 3
Normal uni days (normal uni routine) is a 5
Now it's 4 x 5 = 20. Means 20 out of 10.

Phew....if someone pay me for the things I did, I will definately treat everyone who reads this blog a bottle of XO or tequila, u name it. No problem at all....That's "IF". So now...since no one's willing to do that, we shall just get back to our respective routine and hope...and hope and hope.

Affairs of the heart

Today I m gonna bitch. Yes, because I m not satisfied and I m not happy. Please don't read on if you find this very disturbing. I need to say this no matter what.

That's the thing with relationship. When you're in a relationship, sometimes there're feelings of letting it go and not wanting to commit into a relationship at that time. But when you're out of the relationship, you found new interest and sometimes your ex(es) keeps on bothering you. Or perhaps you like someone very deeply but he/she has an eye for another person, or maybe you cannot decide who you like. It happens to me all the time.

And for now, I m having some problems with my ex. Sometimes he said things that hurt me, sometimes nice things that make me reminds me of the good time we shared together. I've let go, start over a new life but it seems like he still can't. He said that I m too tight with things which means I m very strict about the break-up thingy. Man, I wanted to tell him so much, I m that kind of girl who don't like to go back to an old relationship. If it happens to go down the drain, it means we do have problems and if we get back together, the same will happen because of different thinking and stuff like that. Why can't he understand me even a little bit? When I m with him, he don't really care about me and what's the fuss after the relationship? People always say they don't understand women, I say I really don't understand men. I really don't.

That's what happen when I get into a serious relationship. And on the other hand, when I don't get steady with someone, insecurity loams me. I cannot accept unfaithfulness. Imagine one day he said you're his, the next day he's someone's else. To me, a guy don't have to have big bank acount, a big car, etc etc but he must be faithful all the time. Is it so hard? Having flings is the best way to cope up with this, but then the feeling of being "cheap" is another thing.

Of all the guys I knew, 8.5 out of 10 don't mean what they say. One day you're like platinum and the next day you're worse than a piece of shit. This includes my best friends, classmates, etc. And that's why I don't trust all the things I heard. Be a judge urself before anything happens. Sorry if I said anything offending, I got very pissed off today.

My first Ebay parcel

I've been experimenting with Ebay lately to see how things work. Is was really fun and at the same time hurts ur wallet aswell. I bided on some vintage stuff...it was written 18 pieces but I got 28 pieces altogether. Some are not in really good condition, like missing stone, broken clip and stuff like that but overall I should rate it 67% out of 100%. I got my parcel after 6 days I won the bid. From Ohio to Kuala Lumpur. From fried chicken to nasi lemak. Woo...6 days. That was fast. I was expecting 21 days or so.

One thing I don't like about bidding online is that you have to pay for the delivery charges which is more expensive than the price of the things u bid. And also since it's my first time...yes...first time ever bidding online, I won 2 other bids accidently, one stupid tibetan box and lot of 5 not-so-broken-duno-what diamente thingy. Arghhh...I was so angry with myself. Hmm..maybe it's a good thing, I bought the please-be-more-careful-when-bidding-online lesson aswell. Looks like people around me will be getting more prezzies from me this year. (RAWRRRRR my friends...RAWWWRRRR!!!!)


Great vintage stuff for less than USD30.00.

Hmm..bidding online can be addictive aswell, more like gambling. I don't gamble but it's such great fun to race with others and bid on really good and rare stuff. It's a great way to relieve stress aswell. (no wonder...I nearly burn my plastic moolah). But do have strong self-control when bidding. Don't fall deeper and deeper for something. There're more things to see and bid. Set a price limit for the things you buy. And the British pounds looks so much cheaper. So nice to see but when you convert it to RM, ur neck suddenly hurts, because you're imagining urself being slaughtered. Yes, we humans tend to fall for pretty things but pretty things don't last/ not practical. So just becareful when bidding.

At least the parcel made my day. I was smilling non-stop. My smile is from the left to the right ear. Hehe. It's like receiving a BIG secret birthday present, not knowing what's inside. Wahaha.

On the other hand, I m thinking of dropping my Dutch subject for next semester, just a thought. I keep on saying the wrong things in class. My Dutch lecturer doesn't look that happy with my German side.

On the other hand's hand, my boss wanted me to give trainning to someone. A stranger. Yes, someone I don't know. A guy. In KL somewhere at night. Hopefully everyting will be OK. He's always good with timing. Everytime he ask me for a favour, it's always against my timetable or I've got some important thing to do.

On the other hand's hand's leg, I felt happier everytime I blog. All these while I keep everything to myself, which is very unhealthy. Since my best buddy left to KK to continue her studies, blogging is my way of letting out my feelings. We still boil the phone line but the percentage of me and her talking on the phone has dropped drastically from 100% to 10% because we're "married" to our "dreams of getting a degree" for now. Although I don't blog that frequent, but it's good enough for someone who thinks she's busier than the streets of New York to post someting up. Agree?

why is paper qualification so damn important?

Yes, I m talking about those bloody days u spent to survive in uni/college just to get a piece of paper saying that,"Well done! You've survived (insert ur years spent there) bloody years with us, now go fly fly fly and look for ur dreams from University/College of xxx.

The sleepless nights, the nightmares, the non stop on-going assesments, the scary lecturers, crazy lecturers, peer pressures, competative friends, insane coursemates, super-duper intelligent people around u as if you're downright stupid, etc, etc. Normally, I just say,"Bah, whatever...I don't have such time to think and care about it" or "It's just another day in our lives, nothing to be so paranoid about".

But today, reality hit on me. I got a very bad result for my Dutch exam, worst than the last time. Jeez...It was okay for me at first but then one of my coursemates were like,"Only 3 you know, only 3, my gawd!!!" and then moments later my lecturer said," You keep on messing up the dutch and the german together, darling. That's what you did in ur exam". Poooop...I felt the tense, die. 7 over 20 for ongoing assesments. Never in my life...I got a 7. Then I put it in a positive way:"Cheer up!","It's nothing, Beckham got a 7 aswell". The number 7 printed on Beckham shirt during his MU time compared to mine is a big difference. It's like between the sky and the undersea. No one dare to say anything to me after that so I just keep quiet. It's very very shocking. I used to get very very low marks for other subjects, and normally the lowest amongst my super-duper intelligent friends, and I still go dee-dee-dum-dum, happily and not worrying about anything.

So here I m wondering...we did all these because of MONEY! Yes, MONEY, regardless of what people say, I will still say MONEY. You go to school because of MONEY, you have good social relations with people because of MONEY. My Form 6 Tutor used to say this before. It's because of MONEY. You study because you wanna get good results and then get a good job and getting a good job means getting a good pay. That's why you study.

Hmm...money and studying? Maybe not so right. I do felt that results and money making skills doesn't click. There're loadsa students who score really nice results, nicer than Eiffel Tower itself, more beautiful than the blooming Sakura in Japan...but they no nothing about Sergey Brin nor Warren Buffett (at least for some people in my faculty). Why why why everyone is judging you on ur piece of paper? In my case, their demands will stop, got ur degree, where's ur masters? Got ur masters, where's you this and that? Jeez.

Apart of me, I called it the SillyMe was wondering, why did I end up here? Why is everyone around me pushing me to get a piece of paper? What's motivating me to get up so early in the morning to uni? Nothing. I can't find a single reason. I m lost at the moment. Phew...maybe not today. The NormalMe who's normally happy is no where to be seen now.

So, here I m whinning, at least my lecturers don't read my blog. My coursemates dont read mine either. Oh man...I need some hug...tell me I can go through this. It felt like it's already 1000 years in here altho it was just nearly one and a half years. I need ice-creams.

Dream a dream...

Let's talk about dreams today...(not wet dreams but) real terrifying dreams.

This always happens to me, whenever I m sick, I always dream of falling down from a bridge or being stuck in a chess set. Some things will just come and chase me out of no where. That's when I m sick. And also sometimes when I woke up, I sweat more than a pig, and I wish I never had slept at that moment.

Some years back I had a dream of me dying. An "angel" out of no where told me this: "You're dying today at 5.35pm". Be prepared. Bid goodbye to ur family and friends". And what I replied was,"Orrr...ok". Man, someone told me that I'm gonna die and what I replied was "OK"? That's so freaking weird. Maybe that time I m really really down and I don't have the will to go on. Maybe. But I couldn't believe my answer. They even prepared the whole dying ceremony thing for me. I saw people crying. It do hurts to leave them forever. It's a very terrifying experiance. When I woke up, I felt like kissing and hugging everyone. I started to appreciate life more than never.

Then 2 years ago, for 3 consecutive months I kept having this dream about people dying. Corpes were being carried everywhere. People always die in front of me. It's either me or someone. Jeez. I don't know what's wrong with my brain, it's like a computer virus or I hadn't clean-up my memory for a while. I m terrified. I felt the loneliness, the cold feeling, the weirdness of being the only one alive. It's not a pleasant feeling. I don't like it at all. This thing is more horrifying than horror movies. I feel the "pain". I wonder what behind all these.

Being naked is another thing. I've dreamt of me being naked before an appointment or at school. I know I must put on someting but some kinda force or procrastination stoped me. I felt scared. Insecurity loams me. Perhaps I did someting not right but the thing is, it's not right to let me have a dream of being naked in front of everybody. It's scary. Even till now.

Then, I used to have this dream of losing all my teeth when I was 8 or 9, the time when you have ur tooth pulled out and stuff like that. And then losing my hair, which is like when you comb ur hair, all ur hair fall down like how rain falls, I think I've lost too many erasers and pencils that time, I got "punished" in my dreams. So from that day onwards, I keep my pencils and erasers properly. What a dream to make me a better person.

Then on and on, I will have dreams that make me cry, don't know for what reason, but I cried. When I woke up, my pillow will be soaking wet with my tears (and not saliva) and I don't know why I cried. When I woke up, I felt restless and very very tired but I have no idea where those tears came from. It's supposing to be a sad thing, but I think it's more like having a very big anger on somebody but you can't do anything to improve the situation. I felt damn useless. But till now, I still have no idea what's that about.

People says that dreams interprete a meaning. I m doing some research on it. It do scares me a LOT. Is it because I can't let go of something or because of other things? I need to see a dream interpreter. Anyone?

irritating strangers

No matter what, there're loadsa irritating people around me. Strangers mostly, those whom I've never talk or greet before. If he/she is nice, it's ok. That's very friendly and nice of him/her to be like that. Thank you for being courteous. But there're some with great attitude problem who don't treat people that they first meet like what they should have.

Ok let's start with case number one:
Seller/Buyers

a) There is this canteen man in my faculty whom me and my friends nickname him as "Moody" since day one. His mood swing is worse than the roller coaster in Disneyland and it's worse than any ordinary woman having PMS. Since the first time we met him, he was already frowning, throwing tantrums and being very childish.

On a good day:
Moody: Yea...Nak apa? (Yea...What you want?)
Customer: I want this this with this and that with this and without this
Moody: Ok...10 minutes

On a bad day:
Moody: Yea?
Customer: I want this this with this and that with this and without this
Moody: No, don't have. Wait till 11am.
Customer: But that day at this time, you have this.
Moody: Nono, we dont have. Come back after 11. (showing anguish expression as if someone killed his cat)

Then one fine day, he extra charged me just because I m a Chinese. You see, he's a racist aswell. Chinese people in my faculty have to pay more and get less portion than the others. I was being patient with him. Very patient. Then one fine day...

Me: How much?
Moody: *tapping his calculator* RM4.20
Me: What? For one piece of small chicken like this and that sum of vegetables you charged me this? This is uni canteen you know?
Moody: Vegetables are very expensive miss.
Me: What? But I m not talking one whole pot of vege....
Moody: *cuts through* You know miss, we're losing a lot every month. Each month we have a lot to pay up, the customers getting lesser, we have to pay the cook, the workers...blablabla...
Me: Ok...ok..stop. How much? Honestly. I don't need to know how much you're losing. Just tell me the price.
Moody: Ok...RM4.00. You want you take, you don't want, don't take.
Me: @#$%^&*...!!! Hm....(I was cursing him so badly when I walk back to my friends' table)

Where's the sense? You treat your customers like that, you expect us to pay you willingly? If your service is good, I dont mind tipping you. And if the food tastes good, I m willing to pay more....but NO. Idiot. And some people only have to pay about RM2 something for the same thing I took. Somemore he's showing his emotions when he's a guy, and also in front of everyone. Damn. Disgracing.

b) I was doing some voluntary work for my university. Because I was the publicity manager and I have to make sure there're crowds visiting that carnival that we've planned for months. It was held during the Convocation. So, there...under the hot sun with thousands of people, I stood there giving away flyers, sweet-talking them into the carnival, it's a carnival for kids, so I was like explaining to the parents that the kids need some cooler and more comfortable place to stay and to play. Some parents were really nice, they turned up and even thanked me. But some...."bitch" I should say, just walk away without even replying me and looked at me as if I m an alien from another galaxy. That's very rude. At least say something, you wasted 3.46mins of my precious time just to tell you there're a more comfortable place somewhere for you and your kids. I was trying to be nice because I don't want your kids to suffer under the hot sun. Damn. I told myself never to care people like this. Just a waste of space on planet earth. Their absence or whatever means nothing to our beautiful planet. Where's the sense?

Case number 2 : Unknown online user
I've got a Friendster account, to keep in touch with my friends and stuff. So come one day, there's this guy who wanted to add me desperately. I didn't add of course. Then he keeps on sending me messages asking me to add him and he wanted to become my friend and blablabla. I didn't reply a thing. How can someone be so desperate for a friend when there're more than 6 billion inhabitants on planet earth where nearly half is the female species like me. I find that offensive. It may seem like a small little thing to some of you but to me it's offensive in some way. It's scary aswell.
Can't you like introduce yourself and talk nicely and so on and so...but this is like extra "friendly". Jeez...

Case number 3: Idiotic car drivers on the road
My my...sad...driving on any Malaysian road lets you see all. So far this is what I've gone through:

- there's this little car in front of me (the driver is kissing the girl next to him) when everyone is like rushing to go through the jam. They kiss non-stop and I got so irritated. I was so tired after one whole day in uni, and what they did was kiss kiss and kiss. Damn, if he wanna kiss, go back home, strip her bare and kiss her continously for 100000 years I don't care... he's making the traffic slower and it's very dangerous for road users like me. Man....not the first time. 3 times so far. Kissing kissing. I told my friend, he replied,"Are you jealous?" :(

- then there're some old man who refuse to give way. Idiots. Issit very hard to spend a few seconds and let my car get to the right lane? They don't like to give way to young people. And those with nice big cars, they think they're rich so they can do everything they want. Stupid bunch of rich morons.

- Perverts on the road. If they see u, they will pop their head out of the window, wolf-whistling as if you're Jessica Alba (although you look like Michael Jackson).

- A lot more cases like these. And some who tried to hit you at the back, who tried to follow very close to you car and so on. Jeez. Damn irritating.

And the list goes on and on...world peace seems to be so impossible.

Happy Birthday Shelly!!!

Happy 21st Birthday laydeeee....

Don't stress so much okay, I know our education system sux, let us be patient for about 1 and a half year more and when u come back to KL, we go search for delicious food everyday again like what we did...muahahhaha...sounds so much fun.

Thanks for being there when I need someone to talk to for 17 consecutive years. I m so proud of having u as a friend. And again, pls rock KK and have a great birthday this year.

Love,

Dee

Skinny = Beautiful or BootyFOOL

We're having some discussion in my class about our dream-guy or dream-girl. There's this classmate of mine, (a guy of course) wanted someone not fat and beautiful. At first he said it's okay if she's a little bit fat and then when we asked again and again, the answers keep on differing and in the end...the conclusion is...he cannot accept fat girls. I m not talking about obese, normal baby fat, u see. No matter how much a guy say he can accept a slighty fat one...he actually (deep down inside him) can't accept it.

Then I knew this guy who slammed me with my "fat" issue not long ago, he used to say, fat ones are always failures. They failed in life. They don't get job offer, they wont get promoted, they wont get to date guys. Then I told him that to me inner beauty is still the most important value in one's life. He then told me that's the reality of life. (Blurghhh...He's not even handsome). Is weight issue that important? Not to the extend of having a BMI of 30. I m talking normal girls like us who tend to over-eat sometimes because we're blessed with cheap delicious food in Malaysia, and once in a while indulge in heavily sweet desserts. We're a bit "meaty" and "huggable" because we're happy with our life and we don't go on celery diet. He said the ideal weight for me is to go under my BMI. Which stupid idiot will listen to him and risk their own lives. Under my BMI? I would be 40kg then, what the difference of having living bones and a 40kg me?

Although my BMI is in the healthy range. I always make sure that my weight is in the right range. Hence, the yucky detox diet a few months ago because of the overrated Thai food. I m aware of the diseases I might get if I don't keep myself healthy. Yes, I do get jealous with girls who can fit into nice dresses and every single dress/shirt/blouse is like made just for them in every single shop. But I would definately wont risk myself to be thin like a match stick just to impress someone. Why would you wanna suffer when life itself is so short. I m not a celebrity, I m not Nicole Richie nor Lindsay Lohan.



But, it seems to me in certain places, being skinny is always a plus point. What do you think?

1 day without touching the computer

I can't do that. I m trying hard not to. But I can't. I just can't. It's already a part of me. I will be sick if I dont. It happened before. I nearly go crazy last year. No matter what I still have to put my hands on it. It gives me a sense of relief and satisfaction.

Not long ago, my friend told my another friend about my obsession.

"Dude, you can take away her favourite pair of shoes but you can't do that with her computer. She will definately kill you"

But damn, I have to stop. I m too dependent on my computer. In everything. Everything. From food to my foot. Yes, I think I need to stay away for one day at least and try to touch my books more. Although I did touch my books, but I m not reading it hard enough and I've got yet another series of small but important coming up till next monday. I hated my uni life, now I hate it even more. *pukes* I got so fed up with exams I m not bothered.

Of bread and porridge

My 3rd day with bread and more bread. I've tried different bread with different taste with different texture and softnes and with different sizes. I've also eat loadsa porridge with different taste, different level of stickiness and different texture. Sometimes plain bread or porridge, sometimes with something to go with that. I m craving for REAL food. I did break the law a little bit by having rice, oh how I miss rice. I miss solid food. +o(

911 - A date to remember

The September 11, 2001 attacks (often referred to as 9/11—pronounced "nine eleven") were a series of coordinated suicide terrorist attacks upon the United States, predominantly targeting civilians, carried out on Tuesday, September 11, 2001.
That morning, 19 men affiliated with al-Qaeda[1] hijacked four commercial passenger jet airliners. Each team of hijackers included a trained pilot. Two planes (United Airlines Flight 175 and American Airlines Flight 11) crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City, one plane into each tower (One and Two). Both towers collapsed within two hours. The pilot of the third team crashed a plane into the Pentagon in Arlington County, Virginia. Passengers and members of the flight crew on the fourth aircraft attempted to retake control of their plane from the hijackers; that plane crashed into a field near the town of Shanksville in rural Somerset County, Pennsylvania. Excluding the 19 hijackers, a confirmed 2,973 people died and another 24 remain listed as missing as a result of these attacks.

Today marks the fifth anniversary of the terror attack. For those who suffered losses on that fateful day, it will be a time of quiet remembrance. How time flies, 5 years ago I was still in my school uniform, going to tuition classes and still so "young". God bless everyone.

And today marks the day I have to finish all these tablets within 3 days. Went to the doctor this morning, and I got this, and worst of all, only porridge and bread are allowed. No spicy, no fried, no oily and unhealthy food. :(

I had a bad gastric and a bloated stomach, can't sleep the whole night. The moment I really fall into my dreams would be at 7.25am. That's very abnormal for someone who can sleep everywhere while standing (according to my sisters).



Die. Die. Die. I have to miss 3 classes today. And that's my major. How am I gonna catch up? Hopefully my angelic friends will lend me their notes and tell me what's on for today. I wanna get well soon and eat those yummy food...

Kids these days...

I was at my aunt's house for her birthday dinner about an hour ago but I m still having headache now. Why? Because her 3 year old son and another 3 year old daughter of her friend keeps on screaming non-stop for 3 hours since I got there. Man, it was like banshee everywhere, things were thrown everywhere on the floor, furnitures are being move away with those annoying screeching sound, shouting at each other, fighting for their toys...etc. Every 1.57 minute, they will get up from the dinner table and do someting with their children (i.e. persuading, scolding, pampering). I was sitting in the middle of the table and I really can't stand it, the environment is like war. Everyone running everywhere and shouting (just like all the war victim finding a safer place to hide with bombs being thrown everywhere).

I was wondering if I was that "loud" when I was younger. My mom would definately kill me with her cane or her big slap on my face would definately shut me up for one whole month! No joke. I was brought up by a very strict mother (till now I don't dare to talk to her unless it's an arguement). There's no such thing as toys or dolls or junk food. Totally like in a military school. I still remember the hard time I have to go thru memorising vocabulary and the maths arithmetical table. I really go through a lot. The cane was my best friend as far as I can remember. She's brutal...no one dare to go near her when she's teaching me lessons. And my dad would never do a thing unless it's serious. So, till now, no one can ever hurt me more than my parents.

Back to the story, this cousin brother of mine, it's like a total opposite of what I have to go through. (I m not saying he should be beaten up like what I used to have) but his parents are being too lenient of him, when he's really wrong like putting his leg up on the dinning table when everyone's eating and he spitted on my cup just now, the one with my water inside it. Blardy hell...I m patient with kids, that's why he didnt get wallop from me.

Shopping trips with them is the worst in my history of nearly 21 years living on planet earth. Man, he gets what he wants (even the chopstick that belongs to a restaurant). Spoiled brat. Hopefully he didnt turn out like the male version of Paris Hilton. Jeez. I can bear to see that.


The amount of toys in his house is like"enourmously a LOT". This pic is just like 0.5% of what he got. I could sell it off when he gets older. Wahahaha *evil grin*

A Pig or a Bee

It's been a busy day today (so far)...been digging out some old photos and submitted it for work. And of course today I gave some competition at work. I've been very hardworking lately (for work) but I havent touch a single thing for my studies. So I m a bee with a pig attitude.

8 tasks to be settled by the end of this week hopefully. Procrastinating will just kill me in the end. I've been glueing my eyes on the computer since I woke up. Suddenly there're so many things to do. Woo...my multitasking ability is here.


I miss my friends...I really miss them...

Of fingernails

I lose my appetite...why?
Because I saw a good looking guy (with long fingernails). That's why. Euks...gross. Just imagine...a great good looking guy like that uses his little finger with long fingernails to pick his nose or ears (trying to dig our the earwax and stuff) *Gross*

Oh no...nonono..That's super gross

Am I gay?

U may wonder how my so called "date" goes...

Well, amazingly this time, it's not as bad as last time. But I m not attracted to him. I m turning gay I guess. I can't seem like anyone. It's either they gave me a "ah pek" (dress and act like an uncle) feeling, not "intelligent" enough to answer my questions, not ethical, doesn't look into my eyes when talking to me as if I will eat them (yes, I m a man-eater). Even towards the guys I used to like. No more feeling. Jeez...I m not attracted to a single guy now. That's not good. Since young I always have a target, but since the break-up...I HAVE NONE!!!

I hope I m still straight. Or maybe because I m too busy with work and studies I m not bothered to look for one? My grandma did tell me something about me being to choosy...I m not being choosy. I don't have time to be choosy. And yet...I think I m gay. Jeez...

Butterflies in the stomach

Silly me...why do I feel weird? It's just a normal dinner with a friend I havent seen for ages...Damn. *Breathes In**Breathes Out* Hope everything goes well today.

I m free (for one week) at LAST!!! I can have a normal life back. No more staying up late finishing assignments and waking up early...Hoooray!!! Time to catch back with my "normal" life. I miss the telly. I havent seen any show since I started uni. Not even on Saturdays and Sundays. I feel like dancing on the beach with the white sand, sea breeze and some BBQ after that. And some Corrine Bailey-Rae's Put you records on...lalalala. Oh how i wish!

Happy Birthday Malaysia!!!

Happy Birthday to you my beloved Malaysia!!!
(despite of my negative comments)

So...Malaysia is 49 years old today...that means my dad is already 49. Wow...the last time I heard "anything gotta do" with his age would be when he was 40. How time flies, this means I should go back home more often and talk to him more.

I slept till 1pm today. Totally sinful. Nearly 12 hours of sleep. No wonder I felt a bit stupid today...too much sleep. I had loadsa chocolate aswell. More sinful. Wat a sinful day for National Day!

Allergic to exams...

Certain students 'allergic to exams', research shows
THE stress of sitting exams sends students' immune systems haywire, leaving them more vulnerable to allergies, according to researchers. Scientists have found students studying for exams suffer from higher levels of activity in their immune systems as they grew more stressed. The researchers claim this spike in immune activity causes students who are susceptible to allergies to be hit by a super-charged allergic response which worsens their symptoms. In a study of 41 medical students at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, the scientists found that in calm periods months before exams, students had relatively normal levels of regulatory T cells, white blood cells which help to control the immune system. But when tested just days before a major exam, the students showed a major increase in the regulatory T cells as the levels of mental stress they reported rose. The research found students with allergies also showed a drop in cytokines, molecules involved in regulating the inflammatory response that can cause allergic reactions. This article: http://news.scotsman.com/education.cfm?id=1263502006

Yes, I m allergic to exams... :(

Superbusy

Busy with so many things. I can't hardly breathe. Pheww...I thought today's the 27th of August. I've been adding an extra day to the date. Well, there's an exam on "Phonetik und Phonologie" this coming Monday. And the week after that, I will get to have a week long holiday (short semester break). I felt like staying inside the house hibernating for a week. Or maybe not, I will turn into a pig which will be very unpleasant. I can't wait for the holidays. Actually I m looking forward more to the Semester Break after my finals which is after the 17th of November till Christmas.

*Breathes in**Breathes out* Phewww...Okay, gonna go back to the war now...

Priceless

I hadn't had any proper sleep or food since Monday. I hadn't had talk to anyone in a normal "mode" since then. I hardly reply anyone's message since then. I hadn't finished or at least start to scribble anything for my assignments. Been really busy coping up with time, balancing between many many things. And most of it is for the contest. And here's what we got:

A bit blur...taken in a rush...

We're so close and yet so far for the first prize, an air ticket sponsed by Lufthansa to Germany!!!
But no comments though since we came in second. Worth it I should say.

On the wings of love

Love?

I think I've lost the meaning. Is it just a word?

Have I let go fully?
- I do miss him sometimes (getting lesser for each passing day)
- I do get emotional when I got his text message

but
- I m not ready to see him yet since the break
- I don't want to see him
- I don't want to miss him
- I don't want to see things that belongs to him

and that's it... I think I have. Kudos to me!!!

Everyting is kaputt!!

Owh, I need a HOLIDAY...seriously. Bah...I need to survive this semester first. Add oil add oil!!!

A letter to Mr. Money

Dear Mr. Money,

I would like to dedicate this post to you. Since this morning, I've had endless problem with you and your relatives. It just happened. I paid the wrong bills, paying extra. It's hard to get you, you see, so can you like do me a big favour, stay by my side always and forever. And please don't run away or plan any plot of getting away. You know how much I treasure you...

Love,

Dee

1 guy, 2 friends, 3 Swissmen...

It was a really bad day yesterday. Really bad. Despite of the sleepless nights preparing for the presentation, me and my groupmate got 3 ouf of 10. Damn 3 of of 10!!! I was expecting at least 5 out of 10 at least, so much for the effort! It was so dissapointing. My lecturer didn't tell what's wrong with our presentation and he just said that we're getting a 3. Never in my life I got a 3...never. Well, it's International Relations. I should just forget about tis. No point crying over spilt milk. But I m damn kek of course.

Okay, it's okay...*breathe in...breathe out*. After that, off to one of my coursemate's house we go. Practised the sketch for a while but I m already a little bit tired despite of the sleepless nights for that stupid presentation. So we did it half-heartedly. Because we're all excited for another thing. Party!!!

That night, we're supposed to celebrate my friend's 21st bithday. And the best part is the birthday girl is with us. So, we're looking forward for a great night after the hectic weekdays we've had for the whole week. So off we go for a dinner at Modesto's with the (around) 15 other friends of hers (which I had no idea who is who).

After the food, I messaged one of my long lost friend asking where is he now and if he wanted to join us. And he didn't tell me that he's already on the way. I thought he's not gonna make it. So much for the courtesy, he came with short pants and he refuse to get out from the car. He had planned to smuggle me off to some mamak stall. Then there's a big ARGUEMENT. I didn't meet him of course, he got damn pissed off and said he wouldn't wanna see me ever again. Good then. I don't care man, I don't give a damn of what you think. He called me stupid. [Hello, I told you that we're going to a club].

And he didn't tell me clearly of the mamak part. So there I looked like a dummy. Made me feel stupiad for inviting him and he said that I m stupid and all gals are stupid. And in the end he said he's the one who's stupid for listening to me. Man. I really hate arguements. Can't he just chill and enjoy the night, I already offer to teman him to a mamak nearby (the one near Beach Club) because he said he wanted mamak. Then again he said tis mamak got loadsa people and he's just wearing short pants. Hello, you can go to mamak even if you're wearing just ur boxers dude! He wanted to bring me to a place furthur down. Damn, I know you're up for someting. I m not sure of what. SO much for the courtesy. I didn't even shout at him which I will normally do when I m damn pissed. Yeah now I sound like a real idiot and a real bitch. Fuck! I don't know why I felt guilty and I put the blame to myself. I m prone to blaming myself when things didn't work out properly.

The plan later after the dinner was to go to Thai Club (opposite Beach Club) with a few tequila shots since she used to work there. After dinner, we walked there. But things went really wrong, we waited along the streets like mannequins for ages and I have no idea what's wrong. I know she's damn pissed with that. I just go with the flow. So we decided to change place, that's to Poppy Garden. There...while waiting, one of her friend got interviewed by Hitz.tv, I just remember that cute host which I forgot his name. Duh!

And then again, we waited for ages. Then again we waited and waited for don't know what reason. Then they said some celebrities like Amber Chia will be there aswell. So much for the waiting, we didn't end up there. So, my friend got so pissed off she brought us to Thai Club. And there we're introduced to her ex-colleagues, agent, etc. After like half an hour we came out and off we go back to Poppy Garden. Then they decided to end the night at Passion instead. Man, so much for the fuss. Duh. So there, I spent the night without alcohol (not allowed to because I m driving. The place was so packed! At around 2.30 finally we got a place to sit and I sat next to my friend who sat next to some white guy.

Then there's this particular white guy (one out of the 3) with a digicam keeps on snapping my picture without my permission. Man, I got angry of course because you didn't ask my permission to snap my pic. So when 2 of my gal friends left to take someting, I was the only gal there, so that guy with the camera hop and then he sat beside me. Being courteous, I answer what's being ask. He asked me why I looked to depressed (hello, that expression is not depressed, it's uncomfortable because you keep on snapping my pic without my permission). So then I found out he's from Switzerland. First question I asked, "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" (Do you speak German?) and then for like the next 15 minutes we talked about basic things, why I did German language as my degree and so on. And so I found out he lived nearby my uni. Then he left to dance, I went downstairs to the RnB place. It's already 3am. So I was literally there for the last song. Jeez.

I slept at my friend's house (since her house is near to my uni) for the night, at freaking 4.30am and I had class today at 9am but I couldn't wake up. So then again I skip my International Relations class. She woke me up at 8am. My eyes can't be open at all. I think if I were to drive back to my own house I will probably won't be waking up till 3pm today.

What a day!

Sketch

I m playing a 50 year old mother who loves to do aerobics and is very obsessed with Feng Shui. Actually she's obessed with PS2 but my lecturer finds it too ridiculous. What do 50 year old mothers look like? Curly hair with heavy make up? Should I paint my nails red aswell? It do sounds scary to me...but I m a 50 year old mother now with a 21 year old daughter. Haha...time really flies...

When a Watermelon is not a Watermelon

It's written "watermelon" on the description but it's not watermelon. It has got yellow skin which means it's not a watermelon.
"Mr. H, Have you ever come across a watermelon before in ur life?"
And yet "some" people at my workplace can still close one eye for tis stupid little mistake.

Apart from work, well, actually I'm on hiatus at work since Uni started. My life is like those clothes inside a washing machine. Wash. Rinse. Spin/Tumble dry. Full Stop. Every single day from Monday to Friday. Just that I chill out a bit on Saturdays. It's such a good feeling to be able to sleep without FEAR.

I've got a presentation this coming Friday on International Relations when I don't even have the book or references. It's a political subject. And again I m lucky number 1 to kick off the semester. Am I goin to survive this? It's okay to be lucky number 1, but the thing is it consists 30 percent of my final exam marks. I really hope I dont screw up the whole presentation. Stress.

Before that, I'll have to prepare a sketch in German language because I found that I can't talk in public if I were to memorise a few pages. I m more to the spontaneous side where ideas came in just like that and talk all I want. Gonna do it properly since me and my coursemate are bearing the name of the University. Fuh...stress again.

And did I mention I got small exam every single week for different subjects? You wouldn't wan to be in my shoes. It's terrifying.

I should say this week is a busy week with loadsa social and educational stuff going on and I'm involved with it. I would first love to apologise to a few friends of mine which I had "abandon" and "ffk-ed" (ffk literally means fong fei kei as in not being able to turn up to a date/appointment).

Anyway, let's play some guessing game. I'm actually organising my Singapore and Indonesia folder which I had promised to blog.

Guess what's this shop selling? This small little shop along one of the many many streets in Western Jakarta. My hands are indeed itchy enough to take tis. Make a guess. It's so obvious...can u see it?

Friendship with an Ex?

Is it possible? For some it's a big YES, but I don't know why, I felt weird when I got sms-s from my ex out of a sudden asking how am I doing so on and so far. Maybe because he told me before that it's impossible for him to be friends as in real friends with his ex-es. I don't take it seriously before because I didn't expect this would turn out like this.

I just go with the flow. Got sms, replied and that's it. What about others? Like go out for tea or dinner or something like that. Is that possible?

Sleepy...Tired...Sick

I wish to recover soon because
- some nice courteous people promised to watch movie with me
- some nice kind people wanted to treat me lunch and dinner
- some nice beautiful people wanted to bring me out for a drink
- some nice interesting people wanna chill out with me
- some nice nice people wanna help me destress with shopping...dat is

On the other hand, I'm eye-ing on a new backpack because I stuffed too many books inside it...and the bag can't handle it and ta daa...kaput. So kesian, just the 3rd week and I need a new bag.

DND

It's already Saturday and I can't remember where's my Wednesday and Thursday and Friday. I hadn't had proper sleep since Tuesday. So what happened was, I slept for more than 10 hours today with ringing phones and extreme changing temperature of the room in between. So, people can really tell I actually hadn't had enough p-r-o-p-e-r sleep. I m moody, I don't have appetite and I get angry easily now. Hopefully some passing butterflies and the grass outside can cheer me up.

Thinking of what I'm about to go through for next week really makes me puke:
- exam (what the heck, just the 3rd week of uni, I've already have to go through 2 papers)
- speech competition
- more books to buy (which we'll have to go through the whole state of Selangor and Kuala Lumpur just to look for it)
- never-ending projects and assignment
- vocabulary to memorise (owh, I don't like this at all)

And that's only for next week.

On the other hand, I've got loadsa girls from China adding me in MSN. That's very very freaky. I don't know anyone from China, I don't let out my email address to anyone, I m not a guy, I have never seen them in my life, I don't know then at all. And they started to tell me about my fren gave them my email address and stuff like that. And they don't speak English at all. So I've got to translate using Babelfish and it came out double the trouble since Chinese language cant be translated just like that. Who gave you my MSN address? I m going to "roast" that person nicely.

Dont mess with the WORD

"suddenly felt like loving you a bit more"

Guess who said that to me a few moments ago? That same jerk who abandon me in the carpark in Midvalley earlier this year...I really wanted to ask/tell him:

- are u out of ur mind?
- LOVE is a BIG word, dont mess with it
- you are the 2nd guy after my ex who gave me a hard time
- I had enough of ur nonsense and please leave me in peace. thank you.
- you're the one and only guy who hurt my inner feelings the most

That's the first guy.

Then now the second guy, this one is someone I knew years ago, he was going after my best buddy and suddenly I felt someting wrong with him in recent weeks. He became very clingy towards me, call me like everyday (but I didnt answer), I was cold towards him, he asked me out every Sunday but sorry, I don't want you to misunderstand me. It's better to draw a clear line. He told me I that he felt I gave him "silent treatment". You can say that if you want.

I prefer people tell me what they want instead of running rounds and rounds. My best buddy told me that he sms-ed her and he talked nonsense. That's bad. I felt he's very immature for his age.

Anyway, I don't mind/care what's up with these 2. Not worth my time.

Bloodbath

Wah...I think I need to either change course (because it falls on a Friday and after that I dont have anymore class, thus, midvalley is the place to be next) or do something to stop my shopping fever. I've been spending a lot on my "therapy" every week. As I mentioned before, I will only shop once every fortnight but the SALE is going on now. Hard to resist. Well...I don't shop usually, just once in a blue moon when the mood strikes (self-denial). When I open my cupboard every morning I really don't know what to wear, might aswell get long-term clothings that I will wear like almost everyday for class.

Damn ribut today in Midvalley, the ladies were like mad women digging through the piles of clothes, lining up as like they've just got a million ringgit from the sky. Guess handbags on sale now for 50% but the designs looked very AUNTY but still there're a lot of people "fighting" for one. Duh...damn pening. MNG and ZARA having sale aswell, cheap clothes but I nearly fainted when I see the people and the piles of clothes. Man, sometimes I rather pay more instead of having to go thru the "hurricane", La Senza's on sale aswell, with extra 10% today, so I happily stock up some despite having to go thru those "hurricane".

Then I went to Samuel & Kevin, Topshop, Miss Selfridge. It's so damn hard to find a perfect jeans. It's either I like the design then they're out of stock or it's very expensive. Topshop design's like retro but not the retro that I like. Man, I was so frusfrated when I can't even find someting that I like.

Oh yah, did I mention that it's my friend's idea to go and shop in Midvalley. I just follow the flow. She shops like mad aswell, and then I'm following her footsteps indirectly. But in the end, I spend more than her. But I did felt happier after the bloodbath. Although my purse felt painful.

Bad Impression

Aha...finally I realised someting new about myself. Everyone do noticed me yawning everytime when I'm sleepy. Is it very obvious? You know what? I was lack of sleep yesterday and the day before, so today I was totally out, I was mentally exhausted and so...I cant focus in class. My class is from 8pm-4pm with no break in between. And in the middle of the 12pm class, I m already exhausted. It's so obvious when I'm sleepy, coz I do yawn a lot, I'm the active and the most talkative one in class so when the class became very very quiet and peaceful, everyone know what's happening.

1st "natural phenomenan" in Dutch class:

Me: *Yawn* (Continue reading some dutch words)
L: Darling darling...look carefully what you're reading. (Yes, my lecturer loves to call us "darling")
Me: Oh..ok..(Continue reading while yawning)
L: Darling, you have to read carefully.

A few minutes later:

L: Darling, you have to becareful while you're pronouncing it
Me: *giggle*...I'm so sorry. (starting to yawn)

2nd "natural phenonenan" in German Class:

L2: Is today's class boring?
Me: Er...
L2: You dont have to "err..." you're sleeping all these while since this class started
Me: ??? (I was not sleeping, just yawning)
My classmates: *laughing*

Damn embarrasing rite? How I wish I have 48 hours a day. I need more time. If not by the end of the semester, I will be known to everyone in the faculty as the "Sleeping Pig". Pai seh!

People with not that GREAT attitude

Can't sleep. My blood is boilling at 5000 degrees Celsius. Come, let's do some gossiping. It's good to gossip once in a while. As I have not done that in ages.

I was chatting with a friend on MSN. A very long lost friend. Let's call her *ProudFriend. Okay, I knew her when I was 13, since then she's already someone with her proud-of-herself mentality, every single thing that came out of her mouth would be either a very luxurious item or a very you-will-envy-me product or holiday or wat so ever. And the good thing is she will only come to you when she had no friends around her. So me being on her list of friends, the one she will list down to the bottom part of the list because I m not a branded-whore then, I don't know who's Salvatore, I don't give a damn about Stella McCartney and don't know who the hell Kevin Richardson is.

Then years gone by, everyone with their dreams and pursuing their tertiary education in different places. So, you know, someone "branded" like her would of course choose to study in a prestigeous place rather than in Malaysia which is like "low-class" to her.

Then came one day (which was today, a few minutes back) when she's bored and got nothing better to do, so she came to me, a friend whom she will oni chat when she's really bored, like her last resort after nearly 2 years. Damn touching.

She made me feel really small. She started to talk about her experiance studying in that particular high class country, her high-class holidays, her high-class boyfriend, her high-class this and that. Whoah...did she ever consider other people's feelings? Like me, the poor me who only can afford someting out of my own hands and I don't have such luck to have such parents who will let me sprang their cash like mad? And that I m studying in a local university where the money came from taxpayers like your parents and mine and that I still have to fork out some?

Then later I ask her to visit Harrods to shop she said she got no money. Then after a few seconds she started to tell me about her luxurious experiance in this and that country. And she's asking me if I were to go anywhere after my degree or just stay in Malaysia...how sarcastic, maybe you can't felt the sarcasm but I do felt it and it's painful like hell. She started to tell me about how the education system in Malaysia like so-low...(of course I know, you pay peanuts u get monkeys)...bla bla bla and so on. Suddenly I felt so motivated to study hard and pass my ZD and then my degree and then my ZMP and then to Deustchland I come!!!

How inconsiderate of her of saying that she doesnt miss home when her mom works so hard to support her there. Man, what have become of me. Altho I don't miss home probably I m still in KL but then when I was sent to some places, I still miss home no matter what.

Anyhow, this made me feel stronger to go on with my pathetic life. Kudos to people like this who will burn my enthusiasm to go on and fight till the end! Fight! My dear ProudFriend, did you see the black sling bag in that Gucci shop when u were in London? That's gonna be mine. I m gonna get that when I have the time to drop by any Gucci shop. Owh and also the Giuseppe I've been longing for, and the best part is I dont rely on my parents for that.

Stress-O-Meter

My stress level now is exactly 145.83 degrees. How do i know? I've got a stress-o-metre inside me. I can measure stress because I'm good at it.

Nervous Breakdown

My hands are trembling, cold sweat protruding, body shaking slightly and I can't focus on a particular subject even when having my dinner. I can't focus on my dinner. Great! Anyone know any homosapien who can't focus on food?

So now, I'm going on a new strategy. No working when I have classes from 8am till 4pm. No stressing myself over small stupid nonsense. And shopping therapy every fortnight. Good, now that I will be spending more than I gain. I will be stressed again. But not for long. I've promised myself to only do this for this new semester.

I will suffer from nervous breakdown if I don't do something about it. 8am to 4pm with only a few minutes break in between is not enough. You know how big the uni area is and you'll have to rush from one place to another and fight for a good place. If not, you're DOOMED. No strategic place means 2 hours of day dreaming and sleeping instead of listening to the lecture. (As if I would listen and jot down everyting when I got a nice place)

Class today was er...hmm...better not say it. Embarassing. But I've brave through today!!! Rejoice people! Rejoice! And every starting of a new semester, the same thing the lecturers will ask:

1) What have you done during ur semester break?
2) That's interesting, could you do a presentation on it/write me ur experiance.
3) What's ur ambition? What do u expect in the future?
4) Will German language help u get anywhere?

and so on...

This applies to all my 3 lecturers. They're like photocopy machine. Amazing huh.

BIG question of the day:
"Why do I have to study and compete?"
Fate is the answer.

"Nothing in life is promised except death - Kanye West"

I'm very very tired. I guess I've grown "old" since the past 2-3 months. I no longer can climb the amazingly-a-lot-of-staircase-in-my faculty without stopping. I need sometime to catch my breath. My system will change to Auto-Sleepy when the clock hits 3. My stomach will Auto-Ring every 2 hours.

And the best compliment today:
"Wah, you've grown fatter."
:(