why is paper qualification so damn important?

Yes, I m talking about those bloody days u spent to survive in uni/college just to get a piece of paper saying that,"Well done! You've survived (insert ur years spent there) bloody years with us, now go fly fly fly and look for ur dreams from University/College of xxx.

The sleepless nights, the nightmares, the non stop on-going assesments, the scary lecturers, crazy lecturers, peer pressures, competative friends, insane coursemates, super-duper intelligent people around u as if you're downright stupid, etc, etc. Normally, I just say,"Bah, whatever...I don't have such time to think and care about it" or "It's just another day in our lives, nothing to be so paranoid about".

But today, reality hit on me. I got a very bad result for my Dutch exam, worst than the last time. Jeez...It was okay for me at first but then one of my coursemates were like,"Only 3 you know, only 3, my gawd!!!" and then moments later my lecturer said," You keep on messing up the dutch and the german together, darling. That's what you did in ur exam". Poooop...I felt the tense, die. 7 over 20 for ongoing assesments. Never in my life...I got a 7. Then I put it in a positive way:"Cheer up!","It's nothing, Beckham got a 7 aswell". The number 7 printed on Beckham shirt during his MU time compared to mine is a big difference. It's like between the sky and the undersea. No one dare to say anything to me after that so I just keep quiet. It's very very shocking. I used to get very very low marks for other subjects, and normally the lowest amongst my super-duper intelligent friends, and I still go dee-dee-dum-dum, happily and not worrying about anything.

So here I m wondering...we did all these because of MONEY! Yes, MONEY, regardless of what people say, I will still say MONEY. You go to school because of MONEY, you have good social relations with people because of MONEY. My Form 6 Tutor used to say this before. It's because of MONEY. You study because you wanna get good results and then get a good job and getting a good job means getting a good pay. That's why you study.

Hmm...money and studying? Maybe not so right. I do felt that results and money making skills doesn't click. There're loadsa students who score really nice results, nicer than Eiffel Tower itself, more beautiful than the blooming Sakura in Japan...but they no nothing about Sergey Brin nor Warren Buffett (at least for some people in my faculty). Why why why everyone is judging you on ur piece of paper? In my case, their demands will stop, got ur degree, where's ur masters? Got ur masters, where's you this and that? Jeez.

Apart of me, I called it the SillyMe was wondering, why did I end up here? Why is everyone around me pushing me to get a piece of paper? What's motivating me to get up so early in the morning to uni? Nothing. I can't find a single reason. I m lost at the moment. Phew...maybe not today. The NormalMe who's normally happy is no where to be seen now.

So, here I m whinning, at least my lecturers don't read my blog. My coursemates dont read mine either. Oh man...I need some hug...tell me I can go through this. It felt like it's already 1000 years in here altho it was just nearly one and a half years. I need ice-creams.