Men

Ahh...it's been such a long time since blog. Well, as usual a lot happened.

But this time, I mean what is going to happen this week is gonna be weird.

I don't know why, I just feel it's gonna be really weird.

If I already know he had slept with x amount of girls, why would I still wanna go on a date with him?

If I already know he is not my type, why would I even want to talk to him?

If I already know he has a different background from where he grew up compared to mine, why would I still agree to spend my weekend with him?

If I already know he is always flying, why would I want to be involved with a guy like him?

If I already know he is so many years older than me, why would I still be interested to tell him what I thought of everything?

If I already know he is of another culture, another country, another colour, why would I still want to keep him around?

If I already know the chances of him cheating on me is higher than Mount Everest, why would I even want to listen to what he said?

If I already know I felt this is just gonna be another tragic story, why would I still want to blog about this?

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I am really exhausted from getting involved with men. This year alone, in this very place, I dated 5 people. Yes, 5. But there's still lack of something every time I went out with them. I don't even want to go on or vice versa. Time will tell I guess. I am still too depress to be involve in a steady one. Jeez, am I normal?

Lil Update

Hey people, it's me again. After weeks of disappearance.

Pheww.......these few weeks was chaotic. I am still having culture shock. I have no idea with the class system, etc etc. Anyway, I m really tired right now, I could just sleep on my laptop.

It has been a hectic week. Pretty hectic but with some free time in between, but it shall be used as time to read articles and texts for studies. Crazy.

I need a full body massage right now. I am going kaputt with not enough sleep. Owh. I felt old.

Lack of updates

Yeah, I blog not so much nowadays. Every week I have a lot of appointments, from Monday till Friday. Thank god somebody created something called The Organizer. Which is pretty much what I have on my hands nowadays to remind me for events and stuff.

I am happy to be back to being busy. Although not for a lot of pay but I am somehow satisfied because I can learn more things despite the depression I have had a few months back.

Uni is going to start soon. I am still waiting for the very important mail from my uni. Hopefully everything goes well. I should say, I might have to be here for 3 years and not 2 years as planned as I wanted to change my course. Not a drastic change, maybe 30% different but better than none.

Tomorrow I have another appointment. This is what I hate. To deal with the government officers. Damn.

Till then, let's see how it goes.

Pass!

I pass my exam!!!

After so much trouble, I finally pass my exam. And now I shall wait for the uni to send me entry letter for my Masters.

A part of me is very happy and apart of me feels worry. It's like I have a feeling that there will be some mix up at the uni for the courses that I applied.

Anyhow, time for ice-cream. Yaay!!!

Updates

Ahh...been really busy.

Latest update:

1) Been working as a professor's assistant at Uni, my job is to correct english texts. Cool huh? I love this job. The downside would be headache for hours and many of those texts were written or translated from another language.

2) Tried being a Sandwich Artist at Subway. Still in probation. Cool huh? I get eat every flavour. Haha. Anyhow, if you come and visit me, you will get 50% off. Great huh? But the not so nice part is to stand for 5-6 hours. Back pain.

3) I have exam coming up next week. And I still HAVE NOT REVISE. Die. I really don't know how.

4) Been freelancing too. With the old job but maybe 10% per month. Haha. Just to show my boss I am still alive. Better than nothing.

5) Social life is kicking back in slowly. I have dates. Haha. More like being forced to go on dates. We shall see what it will become. Probably shitty. Nah...not bothered.

6) My crazy housemate thinks I am crazy. WTF? He is the one with physco probs and now he thought I have. WTF? He told my friend this afternoon and I was shocked to hear that. Thank god, my friend told me about this.

7) I hate to go to those government service/departments in Germany. Rude and impolite. Damn.

Yeah, dats all I wanna say. Time to go to sleep. Yes, at 3am.

Afraid of the future

And again this weird feeling happened to be here again.

What can I say?

On Loyalty

Am I loyal?

Yes I am.

No I am not.

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This doesn't applies to me as I am not attached to anyone. LOL.

This was a question from me to myself.

Just another episode

And again, I did something bad.

I just couldn't be bothered anymore.

Being cruel in ending a relationship is not my forte. But we had never began anything. Just an illusion. He is probably crying right now over what I said to him just now.

I have problems with myself. That is why no relationship stays.

When I want commitment from someone I like, he don't want commitment.

And in the end when he wants commitment, I don't want it anymore. I am playing the game somehow. I offered to be nice, he didn't take it that way. Fine.

For some men in my life, they want commitment but I don't. I am always the opposite of what they purposed to me.

I am happy now. At least for now. I am free like a bird.

I am a troubled girl. I think I am.

Freedom

Hmmm...the joy of freedom...priceless.

Freedom is being free. Being untied. Being on the loose. Somehow I am enjoying this. Blissful.

Food-maniac

Hmm...I am hungry again. I would like to have a big pizza margarita right now with some splash of tabasco. Woooo...yummy.

I am feeling great with food. Ahh...god bless this thing called food. Yum.