Silence is golden
Nono...silence is actually platinum. Patience...petience. Don't say a word. Patience. Don't say anything. Just go with it. Patience. Peace. Patience. Don't say anything. I can still stand it. I can still stand it. Tahan...
*Breathe*
February 22, 2007
February 16, 2007
plans plans plans
I had Thai food in the morning and Vietnamese food in the evening. Now my tongue is offcially numb or immune towards spicy food. I can't feel the spicyness but my body can't accept it. And that's why my toilet sessions are so painful now. Pain...oh pain.
Uncle came back and we went food and house hunting. We drove all the way up to D'Villa Damansara and there we're drooling at those rich people's bungalows. Costs a whooping RM4.3 million per unit. And he suggested that we join and get a bungalow and rent it out. I told him to stop dreaming as it's really out of my plan. He's into properties these days and he just got his own roof in the country he's working in. I m so happy for him. But I've never wanted to buy such expensive properties unless I m rich enough of course.
He was talking to my grandma and then he brought this up,"I wonder what my niece would be like if she's a mother. I really can't imagine. She doesn't have the right traits to become one". My grandma agreed that I've no sense of being a good mother at all. So, there, sad to hear that though. A few years back someone just said I will make a good mother and now I m not. Time change, people change. That's all I can say.
So now, I m happy to laugh like a mad dog everyday and everytime, being un'motherly' and am not that fond of kids. I've always noticed how people change from a nice girl to a bitch, from a gentleman to a gangster and vice versa but I've never realise that I'm a changed person now until someone brought up the topic of being very very 'unmotherly-like'.
Does that makes me someone who doesn't believe in marriage and breeding? Yes, I should say since nearly all the men I met dissapoint me down to the very last point. I m not saying I m perfect or I wanted someone perfect. I don't need a guy to be rich, handsome, etc etc. I just need some maturity in them. As in be their age and not OLD MEN of course. No old men...nono...old men are my dad's friend and cannot be my boyfriend. I haven't found my ONE yet.
On the other hand, me and my uncle had a small business plan. Hopes that it will work out anyhow. We spent nearly the whole day talking about it and counting the costs and stuff. It depends nearly 100% on me. A bit of a burden there. *keeping my fingers crossed* I need loadsa luck luck and more luck.
Uncle came back and we went food and house hunting. We drove all the way up to D'Villa Damansara and there we're drooling at those rich people's bungalows. Costs a whooping RM4.3 million per unit. And he suggested that we join and get a bungalow and rent it out. I told him to stop dreaming as it's really out of my plan. He's into properties these days and he just got his own roof in the country he's working in. I m so happy for him. But I've never wanted to buy such expensive properties unless I m rich enough of course.
He was talking to my grandma and then he brought this up,"I wonder what my niece would be like if she's a mother. I really can't imagine. She doesn't have the right traits to become one". My grandma agreed that I've no sense of being a good mother at all. So, there, sad to hear that though. A few years back someone just said I will make a good mother and now I m not. Time change, people change. That's all I can say.
So now, I m happy to laugh like a mad dog everyday and everytime, being un'motherly' and am not that fond of kids. I've always noticed how people change from a nice girl to a bitch, from a gentleman to a gangster and vice versa but I've never realise that I'm a changed person now until someone brought up the topic of being very very 'unmotherly-like'.
Does that makes me someone who doesn't believe in marriage and breeding? Yes, I should say since nearly all the men I met dissapoint me down to the very last point. I m not saying I m perfect or I wanted someone perfect. I don't need a guy to be rich, handsome, etc etc. I just need some maturity in them. As in be their age and not OLD MEN of course. No old men...nono...old men are my dad's friend and cannot be my boyfriend. I haven't found my ONE yet.
On the other hand, me and my uncle had a small business plan. Hopes that it will work out anyhow. We spent nearly the whole day talking about it and counting the costs and stuff. It depends nearly 100% on me. A bit of a burden there. *keeping my fingers crossed* I need loadsa luck luck and more luck.
February 13, 2007
Live to eat
Nowadays you can see me everywhere around KL and PJ especially in shopping malls. So today I went to this not-so-new shopping mall called Giant Mall in Kelana Jaya. Loadsa stuff in there. Loadsa food aswell. And of course I can't miss out the food. Food is my life nowadays. Nearly everyday now, I will visit a new restaurant and try out their specialities. Makes me happy anyhow. So I forget all about the bad stuff. Finally I can turn the bad luck into food luck. Aha...great.
I tried out some Dim Sum and porridge. Not bad since it's not Tai Thong or any big chinese restaurant. I was starving. I wanted to have some curry or some spicy food but I can't find any there so just settle for some simple Dim Sum dishes. I m waiting for my uncle to come back from somewhere so that he can bring me around and explore some new hidden restaurant. Food....!!!
I think when I graduate, I wanna be a food specialist. Or maybe continue to study someting gotta do with food. Anything to do with food. It's exciting. Not to forget I have to double my gym trainning as I need to keep myself fit and healthy.
On the other hand, I felt French is easier to learn. I don't know if it's my lecturer (he's lazy enough to give us hardly anything) or it's the language. Or my German lecturers are too demanding? Anyhow, I got 5 assignments to be completed by end of this week and I had only done one. Bahahaha...serves me right. Too much time spent on eating and exploring new places.
Someone wanna have his 2.5 pieces of 1901 hotdogs but he'd gone missing now...Where art thou? Not to forget coffee to go with that yeah?
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Lesson of the month: Do not be too generous towards people. They will take you for granted.
Being too tolerant, patient, generous and ignorant towards one's negative attack is indeed a stupid act...very stupid act indeed. Some certain people throw his fit at me for nothing. Good. Impressive. I appreciate that. You've never heard of the word respect don't you? I respected you as a friend and now you throw your tantrums at me for nothing? Pretty dissapointing. Please be your age and act like one. Duh. Why do I tend to meet useless guys like you? Dissapointing. Some people need to grow up. For god's sake. Grow up. Some guys in their late 20's are not behaving like what they should have. Is it very tough to avoid being childish? Stop having that kinda mummy's boy attitude. Lucky you're not someone close to me. Lucky you're not my best friend. Lucky that I don't have friends like you anymore. Lucky. You want to make it into a big deal. Fine. Go have it.
Why do I have to be so nice? I should learn to be more sarcastic. More evil. Damn it.
I tried out some Dim Sum and porridge. Not bad since it's not Tai Thong or any big chinese restaurant. I was starving. I wanted to have some curry or some spicy food but I can't find any there so just settle for some simple Dim Sum dishes. I m waiting for my uncle to come back from somewhere so that he can bring me around and explore some new hidden restaurant. Food....!!!
I think when I graduate, I wanna be a food specialist. Or maybe continue to study someting gotta do with food. Anything to do with food. It's exciting. Not to forget I have to double my gym trainning as I need to keep myself fit and healthy.
On the other hand, I felt French is easier to learn. I don't know if it's my lecturer (he's lazy enough to give us hardly anything) or it's the language. Or my German lecturers are too demanding? Anyhow, I got 5 assignments to be completed by end of this week and I had only done one. Bahahaha...serves me right. Too much time spent on eating and exploring new places.
Someone wanna have his 2.5 pieces of 1901 hotdogs but he'd gone missing now...Where art thou? Not to forget coffee to go with that yeah?
----------------------------------
Lesson of the month: Do not be too generous towards people. They will take you for granted.
Being too tolerant, patient, generous and ignorant towards one's negative attack is indeed a stupid act...very stupid act indeed. Some certain people throw his fit at me for nothing. Good. Impressive. I appreciate that. You've never heard of the word respect don't you? I respected you as a friend and now you throw your tantrums at me for nothing? Pretty dissapointing. Please be your age and act like one. Duh. Why do I tend to meet useless guys like you? Dissapointing. Some people need to grow up. For god's sake. Grow up. Some guys in their late 20's are not behaving like what they should have. Is it very tough to avoid being childish? Stop having that kinda mummy's boy attitude. Lucky you're not someone close to me. Lucky you're not my best friend. Lucky that I don't have friends like you anymore. Lucky. You want to make it into a big deal. Fine. Go have it.
Why do I have to be so nice? I should learn to be more sarcastic. More evil. Damn it.
February 12, 2007
Please
Can anyone volunteer to be me for 2 months? Please??? I beg you...please...
Is it me or is it the calendar? Days pass so slowly these days. So slow...Omigod!!! Help!!!
My January is the suckiest month of all. It took ages to go through January. And now February...oh man..I m waiting for it to pass.
I wanna commit suicide today...while walking on the streets of USJ. Really wanna cry it out loud but I got no tears to do so. I wish someone would just slap me out of a sudden so that I can cry. Felt like it's the end of the world, I was walking slowly looking like a sick dog. People around the pathway looked at me as if I m some kinda weird girl from Uranus. Really heart broken due to the severe bad luck I m going through. Then I saw this San Fransisco restaurant. I went in and ordered one big bowl of Spicy Seafood Soup. Then I gulped down everything. It's not spicy at all but it makes you feel like you're in heaven. Amazing. I felt better after that. Food makes me happy. Then I walked across the street still with my head looking down, went into a random across the street, sat down, ordered a piece of green tea cake. And voila. I m feeling way way way better. I think I know why I m the size of a whale now. I eat to ease my stress and discomfort.
Not good at all.
Please time move faster please. Please please please...
Is it me or is it the calendar? Days pass so slowly these days. So slow...Omigod!!! Help!!!
My January is the suckiest month of all. It took ages to go through January. And now February...oh man..I m waiting for it to pass.
I wanna commit suicide today...while walking on the streets of USJ. Really wanna cry it out loud but I got no tears to do so. I wish someone would just slap me out of a sudden so that I can cry. Felt like it's the end of the world, I was walking slowly looking like a sick dog. People around the pathway looked at me as if I m some kinda weird girl from Uranus. Really heart broken due to the severe bad luck I m going through. Then I saw this San Fransisco restaurant. I went in and ordered one big bowl of Spicy Seafood Soup. Then I gulped down everything. It's not spicy at all but it makes you feel like you're in heaven. Amazing. I felt better after that. Food makes me happy. Then I walked across the street still with my head looking down, went into a random across the street, sat down, ordered a piece of green tea cake. And voila. I m feeling way way way better. I think I know why I m the size of a whale now. I eat to ease my stress and discomfort.
Not good at all.
Please time move faster please. Please please please...
February 11, 2007
Competition
I m so not ready for the competition. Not ready at all. Too many things happened at once. I can't concentrate but I must go on. Must go on no matter what. Cham...Tomorrow will be the day.
February 10, 2007
There's a saying in Chinese saying that,"If you feel the environment around you is not right, then it's you who's not right"...something like that.
True. Now that I know I m not right and I have to fix it.
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I can see that this year's Chinese New Year would be the worst of all. Everyting seems to move so slow and dull. In fact, everyone look so down and sad with loadsa bad stuff coming their way. I hope things gets better for everyone. I really do.
The joy of celebrating is no longer there. My friend is having a bad time with everyone, my another friend is cramping and burning her brain rushing for assignments, my another friend is screaming her lungs out because everyting seems do go the wrong way.
And why am I still here? I m supposed to be on an airplane flying to Manila now. But I didn't board the plane. I don't feel right with the place and everything. So I wasted a two way ticket. Wasted.
And now the gym is indeed my second home. Despite of the muscle pain and abdominal pain, I m happy. The moment I step in there, problems are gone.
Sometimes of course there're some annoying people in your life. You will just wish to say this to them,"I rather go to the gym than to see your face". That would be really good.
I don't wanna write any sad post anymore. I hope to put an end to these. No sad post means a happier me. Sometimes I blame the hormones because they made me feel emotional but it's not the hormones. It's the hormones of other people.
Let's see how things goes. People say life is like a tyre, sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. Like how a tyre moves. I wanted to tell them that I m always down. Is it because my tyre had a puncture and that I haven't pump any air to it so that it can moves normally? Or because my life is not a tyre but a square slice of bread?...no matter how you move it it will drop down?
Let's see 2007, what you have in store for me?
- a deduction of nearly RM1.5 K from my deserved pay. Someone sliced it because he can't afford to pay me. And that slice will be gone forever.
- a conflict with my friend. A small matter turned big. And of course like always I m the bad one, the wrong one, the stupid one, the magnificent idiot. Don't try to make other people happy when it's them who determine their happiness.
- a lost package from Ebay. Will be gone forever aswell.
- I mentioned before I bought 6 pairs of shoes. It's nearly gone now. Why? My aunt came and saw my shoes and said it's nice and "took it away". My mother and sisters = 3 pairs of shoes. So now left 2. And those 2 I don't wear it everyday. Maybe once a month or so.
I do not hope to add the list longer. I m just having yet another day filled with misery. I need to breathe and breathe.
True. Now that I know I m not right and I have to fix it.
----------------------------------
I can see that this year's Chinese New Year would be the worst of all. Everyting seems to move so slow and dull. In fact, everyone look so down and sad with loadsa bad stuff coming their way. I hope things gets better for everyone. I really do.
The joy of celebrating is no longer there. My friend is having a bad time with everyone, my another friend is cramping and burning her brain rushing for assignments, my another friend is screaming her lungs out because everyting seems do go the wrong way.
And why am I still here? I m supposed to be on an airplane flying to Manila now. But I didn't board the plane. I don't feel right with the place and everything. So I wasted a two way ticket. Wasted.
And now the gym is indeed my second home. Despite of the muscle pain and abdominal pain, I m happy. The moment I step in there, problems are gone.
Sometimes of course there're some annoying people in your life. You will just wish to say this to them,"I rather go to the gym than to see your face". That would be really good.
I don't wanna write any sad post anymore. I hope to put an end to these. No sad post means a happier me. Sometimes I blame the hormones because they made me feel emotional but it's not the hormones. It's the hormones of other people.
Let's see how things goes. People say life is like a tyre, sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. Like how a tyre moves. I wanted to tell them that I m always down. Is it because my tyre had a puncture and that I haven't pump any air to it so that it can moves normally? Or because my life is not a tyre but a square slice of bread?...no matter how you move it it will drop down?
Let's see 2007, what you have in store for me?
- a deduction of nearly RM1.5 K from my deserved pay. Someone sliced it because he can't afford to pay me. And that slice will be gone forever.
- a conflict with my friend. A small matter turned big. And of course like always I m the bad one, the wrong one, the stupid one, the magnificent idiot. Don't try to make other people happy when it's them who determine their happiness.
- a lost package from Ebay. Will be gone forever aswell.
- I mentioned before I bought 6 pairs of shoes. It's nearly gone now. Why? My aunt came and saw my shoes and said it's nice and "took it away". My mother and sisters = 3 pairs of shoes. So now left 2. And those 2 I don't wear it everyday. Maybe once a month or so.
I do not hope to add the list longer. I m just having yet another day filled with misery. I need to breathe and breathe.
February 07, 2007
I m pregnant NOT
I dreamt that I was pregnant. It was a scary feeling...really freaks me out. I don't know who's the father of the baby. Suddenly I got a very big tummy and I was wondering how I got pregnant. It was so so real. Then I woke up without knowing who's the father of my child. I did asked the people in my dreams how I got pregnant? They said, "SEX!". (Duh!!!) But I told them I didn't do anything and they laughed. I got very frusfrated. I told them I didn't do it with anyone but no one believed me. The whole pregnancy thing lasted the whole night. Aiya...me and kids? Oh man...nonono. Not now.
Okay...at least I don't dream of dead people but being pregnant is quite scary when I don't know who the father is. And it's a weird feeling knowing that you're carrying a life. And when you walk, you walk with care. In fact you do everyting with care. What does this mean? I think it's a resemblence of my tummy filled with food. Or what does that supposed to mean?
Okay...at least I don't dream of dead people but being pregnant is quite scary when I don't know who the father is. And it's a weird feeling knowing that you're carrying a life. And when you walk, you walk with care. In fact you do everyting with care. What does this mean? I think it's a resemblence of my tummy filled with food. Or what does that supposed to mean?
February 05, 2007
Hunger and Addiction
I m so so hungry rite now. I miss Billy Bombers' spare-ribs with potato salad and also their burgers and also their milkshakes and also their chocolate cake and also their fries and also their salad and also their steaks and also their service and also their staff and also their very-american-restaurant-feeling. Why can't they have a branch here in Malaysia. Why only in Singapore. Oh man...I m so hungry....
I miss Billy Bombers. Personally they are way way way better than TGIF. I got bored with TGIF. I m bored of Italian food, I m bored of Malay food in my university, I don't like sushi anymore because there's once I have to eat like 30 piece within 1 hour (no sushi for me for months to come). I m so so hungry.
I m addicted with the banana cake sold in that lil cake shop. I m so so addicted with banana cake. It taste so good. Reminds me of my childhood (the growing up feeling). I need Billy Bombers and one big piece of banana cake (with or without vanilla ice-cream). And also salsa. *drooling....*
I miss Billy Bombers. Personally they are way way way better than TGIF. I got bored with TGIF. I m bored of Italian food, I m bored of Malay food in my university, I don't like sushi anymore because there's once I have to eat like 30 piece within 1 hour (no sushi for me for months to come). I m so so hungry.
I m addicted with the banana cake sold in that lil cake shop. I m so so addicted with banana cake. It taste so good. Reminds me of my childhood (the growing up feeling). I need Billy Bombers and one big piece of banana cake (with or without vanilla ice-cream). And also salsa. *drooling....*
February 04, 2007
PIMP my hardworking life...a bit
Guess what if you're TOO hardworking or hardworking at work (at some certain companies)?
1) You won't get paid becoz you worked too much
2) People at your work place started using ur photos that you've taken (with tears and sweat under the hot sun) and change the credit from your name to another or just delete your name and put something else. Guess how I feel about it?
3) Your name got deleted once from the database by some people.
4) Your boss throws his fit at you because he's having a bad day with one of his wives or mistress.
5) You're given loadsa empty promises.
6) You're given loadsa empty hopes and dreams.
7) The upper authority never have a good meeting leaving you and your colleagues in a blur condition (several times before) and you got blamed a few times for nothing.
8) You stay just because it gives you a good pay, planned to leave a few times but your boss or his "accomplice" decided that you should stay back because you're a good worker. But that leaves you in tears when you didn't "treaten" to leave.
Why am I such a doop when it comes to work and relationship (sometimes studies)? I really don't understand why.
Work - I m still here for the sake of $$$
Relationship - Love? A great feeling for him which took me 2 years to consider? Finally I broke it off. After 2 long years? What about work? 5 years?
Studies - Although I hate it but I still try my best because the society needs to see that piece of paper badly. I've been studying all my life. Since I was 4 till now. Can't leave it.
Darn. I need a cup of coffee with someone to hear me whine whole day. Hopefully this will be sorted ASAP before Chinese New Year. Can someone give me a carton of Godiva chocolates and let me sleep on it till these problems are over?
1) You won't get paid becoz you worked too much
2) People at your work place started using ur photos that you've taken (with tears and sweat under the hot sun) and change the credit from your name to another or just delete your name and put something else. Guess how I feel about it?
3) Your name got deleted once from the database by some people.
4) Your boss throws his fit at you because he's having a bad day with one of his wives or mistress.
5) You're given loadsa empty promises.
6) You're given loadsa empty hopes and dreams.
7) The upper authority never have a good meeting leaving you and your colleagues in a blur condition (several times before) and you got blamed a few times for nothing.
8) You stay just because it gives you a good pay, planned to leave a few times but your boss or his "accomplice" decided that you should stay back because you're a good worker. But that leaves you in tears when you didn't "treaten" to leave.
Why am I such a doop when it comes to work and relationship (sometimes studies)? I really don't understand why.
Work - I m still here for the sake of $$$
Relationship - Love? A great feeling for him which took me 2 years to consider? Finally I broke it off. After 2 long years? What about work? 5 years?
Studies - Although I hate it but I still try my best because the society needs to see that piece of paper badly. I've been studying all my life. Since I was 4 till now. Can't leave it.
Darn. I need a cup of coffee with someone to hear me whine whole day. Hopefully this will be sorted ASAP before Chinese New Year. Can someone give me a carton of Godiva chocolates and let me sleep on it till these problems are over?
February 02, 2007
I m pissed
Very very pissed indeed. My company decided not to pay me after months of hardwork just because the lump sump is too big. And they can't afford to pay me. They even highlighted the word "CAN'T AFFORD". WTF? That's the bad side of working as a freelance. Being not protected at all by the law. Damn it. How can a big company like that that claim to be one of the best in the world couldn't pay me that?
First it's my boss who told me not to claim money so fast from him. Now I waited 5 months like always and then ta-daa...He told me that he couldn't afford to pay me. And I seek some advice from someone in my family who also happens to be my colleague...and then she blasted me with negative comments blaming me that I shouldn't have claim every 5 months. Darn. When some things goes wrong, can't they stop blaming people? I've been blamed so many times that I can't be bothered anymore. Why is it so unfair? If I m one of the blardy lazy ones, it's okay, I know I don't deserve it. But now I m hardworking...putting my priorities to my work first. Being very very dedicated indeed. Now they say they can't afford to pay me? WTF?
Oh man! If things like these goes on and on without a full-stop. Gym can't help me, people can't help me, now is left to my determination to go on. Darn! See how bad my luck is? A big company can't afford to pay me. Joke of the century I should say. Oh man...I should start praying. Seriously. I need the power of the "unseen".
First it's my boss who told me not to claim money so fast from him. Now I waited 5 months like always and then ta-daa...He told me that he couldn't afford to pay me. And I seek some advice from someone in my family who also happens to be my colleague...and then she blasted me with negative comments blaming me that I shouldn't have claim every 5 months. Darn. When some things goes wrong, can't they stop blaming people? I've been blamed so many times that I can't be bothered anymore. Why is it so unfair? If I m one of the blardy lazy ones, it's okay, I know I don't deserve it. But now I m hardworking...putting my priorities to my work first. Being very very dedicated indeed. Now they say they can't afford to pay me? WTF?
Oh man! If things like these goes on and on without a full-stop. Gym can't help me, people can't help me, now is left to my determination to go on. Darn! See how bad my luck is? A big company can't afford to pay me. Joke of the century I should say. Oh man...I should start praying. Seriously. I need the power of the "unseen".
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