Emo...emo

This is the first time I cried this year.

I cried and cried and cried alone. Alone in the dark.

I cried because I feel sad. I am not that STRONG afterall. I've been denying the fact that I am emotionally weak.

I cried because I m very UNHAPPY with my life. Damn it. I have NO LIFE.

I really wanna run away from this.

I cried because I don't have the chance to live like normal. The last movie I watch in Malaysia? That would be Transformers. Jeez.

The last time I hang out with my friends? Last year before I flew off.

The last time I club? Last year.

The last time someone console me about life? Last year.

The last time I fell in love? Last year.

The last time I buy something useless for myself? Last year.

The last time I receive my paycheck? Last year.

The last time I go on a date? Last year.

The last time I feel that I have a life? Last year.

The last time I really have friends around me partying like crazy? Last year.

I've been so damn bloody nice lately to stick to my assignments and work that I don't have time for myself. I am socially impared. A social butterfly like me became social-less. Just imagine that. Seriously, this is depressing.

The tears keep on flowing like mad. I don't wanna cry. But my body is crying.

I want to be FREE.

I need to get out and have a life. I need to talk to people not my computer. I need to get my life back. Arghhhhh....

I have been patient enough to go through 3 years of emotional distress. 3 years of emotional roller-coaster ride. 3 years of learning to love someone, learning to love myself, being in and out of relationship, being myself, balancing life, balancing work and studies, balancing the people, balancing my health and of course those idiots that I met along the way. I am so tired of this.

I want my FREEDOM.