Unwanted attention....again

It's just sad sometimes to know that so many people pick up on me. You wanna know why? It seems like my name, yes my name, me, myself and I has been a hit topic around this area where I call home, a place where I grew up with my friends, a place where I all my childhood memories were stored. A place where I had my very first crush when I was 4 years old.

I don't mind other people's parents telling my own parents' how stupid their daughter is or how she could end up in the oh-so-prestigious university of the country, what I can't stand most is how and why out of a sudden in these few years, people started to look down on me just because I'm a linguistic student after so much of brain cells burned to be able to speak a few foreign language? I don't understand this at all, this is nonsense. I am not even a celebrity. They think they're SO-DAMN-GOOD in prediction everyone's future saying that my future would be a gloomy one...yada yada...I wonder why they didn't help out with the never ending Iraqi issues or better still...global warming and climate change solution?

Someone...okay....Someone let's call him "Yellow", he's my neighbour and also ex-classmate, he told his parents about me being in a stupid course, and his parents' spread the news (in front of my parents) in a banquet to other people about my stupidity in a stupid course. And I wish he could just keep his mouth shut and study properly instead of having sex with his girlfriend when everyone's studying for that piece of paper. Although a piece of paper qualification doesn't mean much in how you define SUCCESS but at least it's a piece of paper to let you start somewhere.

I think everyone look at me as someone who doesn't have brains or what? I don't know, I don't mind people calling me ugly and stupid but I can be sure I m more SUPERIOR that their mouth. At least I don't pretend in front of my enemies, IF I DON'T LIKE YOU, I WON'T BE NICE TO YOU BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO. Period.

I m hurt. Deeply hurt. Why would everyone here give a BIG DAMN about me of my preference of not liking books, not liking to memorise thing, my preferences, my choices and why why why do I have to be in their topic of conversation? I don't even see them and for some, I don't even know them. And why is my choice of studies be a hit-topic around them?

"Why do you take this weird course?"
"Why study something that people don't wanna study?"
"Why don't you choose something professional like law, business, etc etc?"

When I first started, I DO still tell them why and how and what and who. But....since I've been asked for gazzilion times about that, I would simply reply,
"I wanna marry a german. So that I can eat more Bratwurst, drink more beer and drive a german car."

That's good enough to shut their mouth for years to come. If they still go on (again) with that I would reply them,
"Well, I wanna be a multi-lingualprostitute and serve that country. You know, the more you know the language, the more customers you will get afterall studying is not my cup of tea. And I like get laid while earning Euros. ;)"

I've been nice to them. Really nice. I don't mean to be rude buy I have my limit. Since they like to see me gone bad, or as a BIG FAILURE and that I-should-not-live-on-earth kinda thing, it's such a nice feeling to pull their legs and put in lies just to make them happy in another way. I m enjoying it, especially the "prostitute-statement"

My dad said this to me just now,"This place is bad for you. Go head somewhere else where you can be yourself."

What do you expect me to reply him when he said this to me? I m sorry that I had dissapoint him because I m not a filial daughter, not filial enough I should say. I don't need anymore unwanted attention from other people. I had enough. Really enough.

All I want is to be simple. I feel comfortable in my short pants and T-shirt without make-up laughing like a hyenna while walking along the streets so no one could pay any unwanted attention to me. But I do still get unwanted attention from strangers. Why?

I should turn this into something. Perhaps I should sell insurance to them since I m such a big attention-graber and turn myself as the first millionaire selling insurance. Good idea eh? Nosy people just can't stop being nosy. Busybody @$$h0L35!!!

I m hurt because I don't look like someone intelligent, I m not pretty, I look poor, I look like I am meant to be "The Failure". Owh...I felt so hurt. Damn it.