Against me?

Have you ever felt like the whole world is planning a plot against you in everything you do? Well, I feel that way. Since yesterday night, everyone seems to have this little tiny thing of hurting me.

I was sleeping soundly in the middle of the night. It's was such a nice sleep since it's always difficult for me to fall asleep during school days...then suddenly someone called me, I was too tired to even look at the caller and I just pick up the phone.
Voila! Out of no where, some blardy bastard whom I have not keep in contact for nearly a year called me. He wants me to listen to him. So being the "nice" me...I gave him some time, I let him say whatever he wants to say. Suddenly out of no where....

X: You know you and me together...we can't be together. You know that right?
me: Uh huh...OF COURSE!!! It's impossible.
X: You're not the type that I like and I m not the type that you like rite?
me: Uh???? (WTF, you called me in the middle of the night just to say this?)
X: When I was not in contact with you a few months back, I kissed a girl. She's my ex-schoolmate. But I know we both won't be together. She's...
me: Wait wait. Stop. Why are you telling me all these? It's non of my business rite?
X: I need someone to listen to me for a while....
me: WHY ME???....

Hello, Mr. X. I don't know how to say it. But what makes you think I like you in the first place? I think there's been a big misunderstanding there. And calling me in the middle of the night just to tell me this. I really don't appreciate that. Called me just to tell me u kissed a girl and that we're both not meant for each other? That's childish!!! Man, can't some guys be more matured a bit? At least a bit?

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I was packing my bag then some students from other faculty came in. Then I met one of my old schoolmate...can't remember her name. But I know she's one of the SMART and INTELLIGENT and CLEVER ones in my school. But I think she got no BRAINS or wat-so-ever.

G: Hey! Why are you here?
me: *blinking* Me?
G: Yeah...
me: I study here
G: Oh you study here? Owh...sorry. Hehe.
me: Hmm...yeah I study here...(what kinda question is she asking me?)

Oh gosh, not again. Okay. Maybe at school I m one of the bad student. Laziest, clumsiest, most undiscipline one...you name it...But that doesn't mean that I can't be studying in the same uni rite? What a question to ask. Can't she see that I m wearing my uni TAG. Which is so obvious? Man, the way she ask is so sarcastic. I don't like that tone at all. Sometimes she pretend not to see me...bahahahah...very funny. I can't seem to click with HIGH CLASS people like her. What a bitch.

More to come...I can sense it...yes...I can sense it. Arghhh....

"I HATE MY LIFE"

My coursemate said that this morning. I was about to say the same but I can't be bothered to say it becoz it happens every semester. The workload is getting higher and tougher each passing day. Lecturers love us so much that they always remember our names without fail. First day in their respective classes and we got our names called out 4-5 times in each classes. Interesting. Very interesting indeed. And that will go on till the end of this semester.

I got a bit emo just now when asked to do some group presentation in the Gender and Developement class. I m a feminist (just realised that). Woohoo...I stood up with great pride and starting to elaborate on stereotyping women in general. I spoke with great energy and emotion. Welcome back my old me. I guess my "political" side has just came back with greater energy. I remember my "good" old days back at school where I will blast every guys I don't like particularly (only those who annoys the class but the class didn't do anything to them) so badly sometimes it turns out to be a "romantic act". It happens to 2 of the guys. Both like me. And of course I deny it so badly that I would feel offended if anyone tries to tease me with any of them. Euks... Who wants to be linked to the "baddie" of the class. Not me of course. And there's this time where I scolded a male teacher who's always late to class and who didn't teach us anything in Form 2. Man, I was brave enough to scold him. Lucky nothing happened. What had gone into me. And my friends didn't stop me at all. Why? Why why?

So, you see, without work (as in my work work), I act like a "bitch" I should say. My energy has turned to political cause and not into my studies. I don't know about my studies as class just started not long ago. I tried not to yawn in class. But so far, I didn't do that...since my name is always being called out every few minutes so thank God for that! Being politcal. Hmm...could be a good news. Stand up for human rights! Fight poverty! No sexual discrimination at the workplace! Sounds so cheesy...

Have you ever felt like your vision for your future suddenly gone blur? Like when you're young you know exactly what you want in life and everything but suddenly at one point, you're LOST. I m facing that now. When I was young I know what I wanted in life, I have great plans, great ambition and great vision for the future. Suddenly it blurs out. For now I just wanna go through life and go back and sleep. Nothing else matters that much anymore. Maybe becoz it's my uni life. Maybe becoz I m stress becoz I know I have 7 presentations to go. ..8 paper works. ..and I m not sure about any upcoming competition or what-so-ever. Bah...I just can't be bothered.

Why do we have to live anyway? I don't know...

Happier News of the day

AirAsia X London flights from RM9.99
KUALA LUMPUR: Fly Asian Express (FAX) will fly its long-haul operations using the brand Air Asia X, under franchise from AirAsia, starting July. The flights will have two classes - super economy and economy. In-flight entertainment and food will be available for purchase onboard. Fares to London will start as low as RM9.99, excluding tax and surcharges. FAX has been given rights to operate long-haul flights to destinations in Asia, Australia and Europe. AirAsia CEO Datuk Tony Fernandes has a 50% stake in FAX. The other two FAX shareholders are AirAsia deputy chief executive Kamarudin Meranum (30%) and former AirAsia chief financial officer Raja Azmi Raja Razali (20%), who is also FAX CEO.

taken from http://thestaronline.com/news/story.asp?file=/2007/1/5/nation/20070105113409&sec=nation

I can't believe my eyes. Can't imagine ...later in July...London gonna be so packed with Malaysians...Aussie gonna be more packed with the already packed Malaysians. Unbelieable. But how's the flight like I wonder...

It's happening again

My nightmares I mean. It's only the 2nd week of uni. I have these weird dreams of people killing themselves, people commiting suicide everywhere on the road, people standing on the wall like Humpty Dumpty trying to jump off. I feel so tired of having these kinda weird things. I wanted to cry out just now because I can't differentiate which is reality and which is not. Damn it. Not again!!! Help...

Hello 2007

Happy New Year everyone, hope it's not to late to wish you all though. I've been very busy with life lately since I got back from my so-called holidays. It's official now I m not normal....mentally.I've outdo myself a lot for the week. I've edited more than 2000 photos in less than a week...dats record number one.
Number 2...I went back and stayed at my parent's house for New Year...dats for 5 days. That's a new record aswell becoz I've never stayed more than 2 and a half days back at my parents' house since I got into uni.
Number 3...I've dissed and hurt loadsa people's feeling more than ever in that week. Sorry to the people I've hurt...I can't help to say hurtful things like that when you people act like jerks, I can't lie to myself. It's a long story behind that...
Number 4 would be the funniest girls' night out ever (a few days back) with my girlfriends...We met a few guys later that night and they made me realise why most of the people in my group of friends are still single. That's because my girlfriends have high demand in guys. "Oh man, too bad he's not highly educated", "How sad...if he didn't smoke, he would be the perfect one for me", "He's the lala type. Not my style", "NONONO...he's such a nerd", "He cannot speak english at all. How am I gonna live...". There you go...it's not that the male species are facing extinction, it's the girls who're really demanding. (shoutout to best buddy in KK - dun be so choosy like ur frens here in KL)
Number 5...I think I ate a whale...u know what it means...
So far...I would not want to mention about 2006. It's a bit devastating for me altho there're good memories after that particular 'incident'. A big thank you to all who'd supported me all the way. Now 2007...I could sense there're loadsa things in store for me. A store which would be bigger than Tesco or Carrefour. All the best everyone!

Hot Home

Taken from The Bund across the Huangpu River. Amazing isn't it. It will be much more amazing if I have got a DSLR with me.


They don't have shopping malls like we do in smaller city, so we have to walk quite a distance to get things that we want. Walk walk walk...



Nearby a Chinese Temple...loadsa stairs... :(



Isn't she cute? She's one the the many typical Chinese girl in one of the many old village in Jiangnan Province. Really cute one, she's so sweet she offered me a sweet that she's holding.


Another temple. One of the many many temples that I have visited. All are situated up on very high hills. Now I have got muscular legs. Muahaha...

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I m not happy...I m sad...I feel so lonely...oh so lonely. The trip was great but I feel lonely. I was wondering why I got there with my aunt? I feel so so so lonely after nearly more than half a year after my break up. Wahaha...finally I know I m normal afterall. I should have dated the tour guide...I should have...Dats when I think I m very dependable on people mentally.

Anyway on the other hand, I had a series of unfortunate events when I was there. I tripped 3 times (2 times on the streets of Hangzhou because some Chinese man stepped on my specs and I can't see the road clearly, one time in front of the largest Buddha statue in the world in Wuxi...maybe becoz I never pray), mistakenly went into a male's toilet becoz I don't understand the sign on the door...and I saw an uncle doing his business there turned red, sprained my ankle 5 times, bought a very expensive item which I don't really like that much, it costs me a BOMB just becoz my aunt likes it...I had "free-shows" everyday in the public toilet (because Chinese women there don't like to close the door when they are doing their "business")...and so on...

The thing I like the most about China would be the weather...I like winter, those cold chilly weather...it feels so much nicer and less tiring. We visited nearly all the Chinese gardens available in Jiangnan Province (which kinda bore me), Chinese temples (which I don't really go and I don't understand a single Chinese words written on the boards), climb loadsa stairs, travelled a lot, too much to say it here but it's better to travel in a cold weather rather than the sticky hot Malaysian weather. It was below 0 degrees nearly every night...it feels so nice but I don't like the clothing part, too many to carry and wear. But I still like winter...woo...can't wait for another winter. It feels so hot here, so humid, I m actually sweating like a pig now.

I m just too tired to continue. Most of my tour mates got sick and some vomitted inside the plane. Poor thing. I know I m going to get sick soon enough becoz my body already started to ache. Another day tomorrow...New semester starts tomorrow. My nightmare begins now!!!

Seriously, I think One Utama should add more parking places. It took me nearly half an hour to find a parking lot and half an hour to wait for the cars slowly moving to get out from the building. And that's not frustfrating until your friend decided to cancel the "date". He's lucky I didn't get angry, but then he turn up becoz I told him to take his time but please "do show ur face". And then he's a bad influence, now that I spent nearly RM500 today, and I nearly got this:

Isn't that a beauty? My hands just can't stop caressing it...aww...and I duno if the salesman keeps on brain washing me or my friend who keeps on saying this is good compared to his Nikon D80 or it is becoz of love at first sight? It has all I want but the thing is I have to spend a lot in uprading them as time goes by...A LOT (definately in the future)...most important of all are the features...I m paying tonnes for the features. Jeez. It makes me feel guilty. Should I get it? My Shanghai trip already costs me more than 3K...This one 4K...Too much for my Christmas present from me to me don't you think?

Falling in Love...with Shanghai

I m so gonna like Shanghai I think. I was browsing thru Flickr for Shanghai photos and oh man...my passion for photography is getting higher and higher despite the cold weather there (min -1). And also it makes me feel that I really need a DSLR as in taking pictures the proper way after years of using my 2 faithful Nikon digicams. The reason why I don't wanna get it since I started out as a photographer is that my boss only pay me peanuts compared to what he paid for GettyImages. Hmmph...But now it seems that my interest is more important that comparing the pay. Oh well, since he's so nice to me all these while...I m gonna get one next month after my first pay in 2007, yeap, he only pay me like 2-3 times a year. So now there are 3 DSLR which I like very very much, which one should I get...Sony...Canon...or a Nikon...Hmm....decisions again...(sigh).

Can't wait for Shanghai.

Oh my kezboard is so so german now...I duno whz it is like tis...z becoming y and y becoming z and umlauts when I wanna use the aprostrophe, it becames an... ä...whz whz whz...I cant even tzpe a question mark...LOL. It is nearlz 2.30 am now. I canät sleep.

Everyone....no matter what...you must really really watch Borat for once in your life. It's really funny. It's been quite a while since I laugh like a mad dog in front of the screen. No doubt, Malaysia gonna ban it for sure. No way we can watch it in cinemas. But it's worth the watch. Kudos to Sascha Baron Cohen (the lead actor). Brave act, silly enough, I don't think any other actors dare to do whatever you did in Borat.

Yeah, you see, I spend my pathetic days now with watching a new movie everyday. It was Happy Feet yesterday, Borat today and Breakfast at Tiffany's tomorrow. I stop eating like a pig becoz I m out of food and also I got bored of eating like that. Finally!!!

I m still thinking of my decision to temporary stop work. Still need an answer. But I m in no rush though. Another alternative would be continue working but not so much, just enough to cover my spendings...maybe that's better.

Oh yah, before I forget....Happy Birthday Julian!!! Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!!!

Decisions decisions

What a busy week...with piles of photos to be edited, tonnes of news to be read, and loadsa other things to be done. I just love working for now. Loadsa things to learn, new experiances, etc etc. On the other hand, I m considering of stopping work for the next one and a half years. Which means focus 100% on my studies (which I never did before in my life) till I graduate. For once...I felt like wanting to have good results again. It's so not me to say that. But it's the most positive thing I've ever decided in years. Tough decision there becoz I m used to spending "quite a sum" every month. It's gonna be tough. I m not sure yet. If I really do that, I have to forget about my DSLR, my holidays, etc etc...which I think it's impossible. Very impossible. A habit of 4 years can't be changed in just one day.

I can't depend on my parents as they won't give me what I want. So the question is, to stop or not to stop? If I stop, I will be able to get better results as in more A's and no longer the "just pass" me. But if that happens, my perfectionism will come back again. I suffer from my perfectionism years ago, making me suffer as I wanted to make sure everyting is 100%. And when I was 16, I learn to let go. And from there, I m a happier person. I learn to let every tough/sad emotions easily. Why do I choose to have better results when it doesn't bother me at all since I came to this world? Peer pressure I guess. I feel there's a need to be better than what I m now. Rushing to finish assigments in 3-5 days when other people took 2-3 months...it's not good. Study last minute for exams and tests...it's not good. Guessing the vocabularies with every available answers for every questions asked...it's bad. Opening my book (for the subject I dislike) only when it's the end of the semester...it's hopeless. Hmm...should I stop? But when I stop I cant guarentee to stay with my books. I might end up having other plans since I m always doing someting...Awww...can't make up my mind.

For now I think I m having some kinda eating disorder. I can't stop eating. I don't feel full at all. Everyday, I drank half a bottle of mango yogurt drink, 2 granola bars, 2 units of mango pudding, banana and nuts cereals, 5 mochis, and that's excluding meals. And I m still feeling very hungry now. Gonna dig for food now. And think...