It's good to be on hiatus these days. After 2 weeks of my so-called chicken pox, I am finally refreshed and regenerated. And after the news of the pay-cut, hiatus from work makes me another person. I feel better not having to balance myself between work and studies for now. My studies need a lot of attention from me, since I have neglected much of my study time to my work and other commitments.
At this moment, I don't feel like having any holiday at all. For now. For this moment. I feel I just wanna give a 100% push to my studies. Which never happened in my life before this. LOL!
I have yet to love cooking. And I am experimenting a lot of cooking using rosemary. Yummy! And I am eating like the germans. As in potato-wise. It has became my "rice" somehow.
On the other side, I am still on the search for a better job online. It doesn't matter where in the world. After all, I will be much better anywhere but back home. Altho I have been saying that I am having homesick. Not that true afterall. It's just becoz of someone. Other than malaysian food of course. :)
On the other hand, after days of being moody (I am always moody eh?), I bought marshmallows and have been munching on it ever since. Happy. Trully blissfull.
This morning I realized something. And I told myself:
"You see, sometimes you are smart, but you misuse it or put too much emotions on being yourself. You can fare a lot than other if you don't carry too much emotions around. In fact, you hold a lot of advantages compared to others. Why waste it?"
True. That is what my inner voice told me. I have been living uniquely from others and my experiances under my belt should actually help me not make me more miserable. Yeah, this means, I am looking for another change in my life. Well, "3 months- a new life" is my motto all these while. Time is up and I need to change again. Sometimes I hated it, sometimes I feel good doing it. Other than the list of men I get involved with. Not much actually. Another one just broke my heart saying I broke his first and then finito. I am so used to getting this I felt sad but not as much as my 1st boyfriend. It gets much better as I grow older. It should have been karma to be in and out of relationship. I could have been a playboy/playgirl in my past life and now I am getting back all the karma. Serves me right eh?
All you have to do when you are down is, tell this to yourself:
"I am made tough. Just like a Volvo."
... and hopefully everything will go fine, no matter how shitty it is. I am trying to come back to my life after all the shit but yeah, tougher and more prepared for the next wave of shit.
I love my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment