I have been diagnosed with an unknown sickness. It is not chicken pox whatsoever but the doctor said IT is chicken pox. Damn. It's really itchy and I got it after I came back from Prague. I am already very depressed with that. Imagine more than a week of sleep apnea becoz of the itchiness. And I was given a week MC. And the results will be out tomorrow. I am really realy scared and worried as I have never gone through things like this back home.
Really depressing.
And today, the company I have been working for nearly 7 years is going bankrupt, I think. And they are cutting costs here and there and all my work will only be paid 50%. Jeez. See that? Depressing no?
Extra depressing. And then there are some problems with my studies as I m not motivated to go on and I wanted to go home very much. Homesick. I don't think that's homesick. It's rather the feeling of not wanting to go on with this alone all by myself. I am so damn tired of going through ten thousands of stupid nonsense since I arrived. Damn.
A few days back I received a call from Malaysia...wooo...it's from somebody who has a special place in my heart. The one that I have been mentioning since a few months back. When I picked up, the only thing he asked me was:
"Do you miss me?"
I can't say anything as I am not feeling well and itchy at the same time.
After a few days, he sent me an email.
"I must say I was surprised you were not very excited when I called."
What can I say?
Can I say:
1) I am feeling-less becoz it was just a call. Or should I say I don't display affection that easily?
2) I know it was him and therefore I m just happy but not excited as I have gone thru this many many times? (Not good as he doesn't really want to know about the guys I have had relationship with)
3) Don't say anything?
Whatever it is. I couldn't be bothered now as I am having yet another roller-coaster in my life.
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Will I survive these few years? Will I live normally? Will I?
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