Nearly a month of living in insanity makes me feel sad and stupid.
I never thought I would have such a hard time adapting to this place. Maybe because it's still has the eastern Germany cult that is not as pleasant as being in the west of Germany minus Berlin. Berlin is another story.
Everyday I try to live meaningfully. I really do.
Well...I think this period is for me to learn to be more independant than before. Actually no, I think I should called it emotionally independant. Yes, that's right.
For now, 6 months is my target to pass that damn paper and try to move to another city. Jeez...this place is, well compared to Madrid, I think it's the same with Madrid, just cleaner.
What the feeling of being a student in a german university? Nothing special. Just that my student card is more powerful than the one I had in Malaysia.
I do want to do a few things for now. I wanna hug my dogs. Hurhur. Or maybe I should get myself a dog. But it would be too troublesome for me once I move back to Malaysia or something. I don't know.
What I need is a guy? I think so. But I don't think so. Here I only have 2 choices. Old men or unwanted men. No no. I have no appetite for them.
On the other hand, maybe this is good. So that I will focus fully on my studies and not wasting time waiting for this and that. But you know me well, I am not those who can stick with my books 24/7.
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I fell asleep just now. And I was sleep talking in german. Jeez.........I could never understand myself now. How could I sleep talk in german? I was really tired mentally.
Okay, I think I should stop writting now and go "home". To the place where people have sex freely on the dining table, etc etc. Jeez...I could never imagine my food on that table ever again. And hopefully they are not doing it superbly tonight like the day before I "ran away from home". Oh gosh....I need to breathe. Why do I always have to be in the place where everything weird happens?
1 comment:
weird = unique
U get to experience life, different cultures. think of it as a positive way...at least you wont be ignorant of different lifestyles like some people who have not been outside of the country, in other words, "katak dibawah tempurung"
at times like this, try to think positive dude!
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