June 27, 2006
U can call me crazy
Not even 3 hours I was in this lil house in PJ, I m heading to Jakarta this Thursday. Havent got the time to update Singapore trip yet....Just for 5 days. How I wish I had longer holidays!!!
June 25, 2006
Throw away the old...get the new
It's official. I threw away my past, get on with the new. Seeking a happier life. No more old issue that will bug me ever again. I m so tired of having to care about those shit. Welcome the new me!!! Welcome the stronger and less emo ME!
I will grow old alone and unwanted
It's nearly 2am and I m still here in front of the PC thinking of my future. Can't sleep, just had 3 cups of tea. Dang! Shouldn't have tea...no caffein, no coffee, no alcohol...I'm sleepless. Looking back at my past, I felt weird...very weird indeed, in fact I m not sure what made me hold on to life.
- I've tried commiting suicide before when I was 17. Had a terrible fight with my parents, nearly lose the faith to live on. But someone saved me indirectly because I promised to accompany him to a live forum. And since I don't like to ffk people, I decided to go and it indirectly saved me from being buried 6 feet under.
- I had a bad childhood. My parents brought me up in a wrong way. By mentioning money and finances to me when I'm still in my diapers. I think I can even become an economist when I was 7. I know the meaning of begging and that's why I m working hard right now to be financially independent as soon as possible. I just wanna own my own roof and wheels. I hope my children don't have to go through what I had been through. It's been a rough ride for me. In fact the bad memories will stay for life.
- When I was in a relationship, I was not ready for it at first. It happen kinda quick. I was only 18 then. Never before I thought I would be in such a deep relationship. It taught me a lot though. I m much more stronger now despite of what happened. Why do I say I would grow old alone and unwanted? That's because no one so far who could resist my bad temper when I m really down, I could drive anyone up the wall. Luckily it only happen once a while. When my stress level is beyond the point, I can't control myself. I was in a long distance relationship, my then boyfriend didn't do me any good. I hardly talk to him, I've got no one to talk to, my best buddy was sent to a very far place to continue her studies. So my only way to alleviate my stress is to work and work and work. How pathetic. I go crazy sometimes. it's bad. I need a counsellor.
- During my schooltime, I always sleep or talk in class. I never did my homework. I copy my homework 15 mins before I hand it in. Even my Physics experiments, I just copy and paste. I dunno how I survive my SPM. I don't know how I managed to go for my Form 6. And again, in Form 6, I m the "Ponteng Queen". My attendence is the lowest in class. My class teacher knew that I'm hopeless. I sleep more in class ever than before because I had to work the night before. My Form 6 Maths book never existed. My Economics teacher is the only one who had some hope on me. Some. At least she had some. My STPM result is the poorest among my friends. Then I got a place in UM. University of Malaya. Everybody's dream to be in there. Being in here changed my life. I started to do my homework and study for my exams. At least better than the old me. But then my lecturer always said that this course had the most percentage of failures, not only in UM but the whole Malaysia. And then again...I m lost.
- I'm anti social sometimes. I like to be alone. I hate crowds. I hate to talk. That's when I m having another dillema. I can't seem to focus on my studies/work. I've got endless problems with people around me.
There's no good in me. I don't know why I m still here. I'm just wasting some of the earth's space and air. Am I having AMS (After Menstrual Syndrome)??? I wonder...
- I've tried commiting suicide before when I was 17. Had a terrible fight with my parents, nearly lose the faith to live on. But someone saved me indirectly because I promised to accompany him to a live forum. And since I don't like to ffk people, I decided to go and it indirectly saved me from being buried 6 feet under.
- I had a bad childhood. My parents brought me up in a wrong way. By mentioning money and finances to me when I'm still in my diapers. I think I can even become an economist when I was 7. I know the meaning of begging and that's why I m working hard right now to be financially independent as soon as possible. I just wanna own my own roof and wheels. I hope my children don't have to go through what I had been through. It's been a rough ride for me. In fact the bad memories will stay for life.
- When I was in a relationship, I was not ready for it at first. It happen kinda quick. I was only 18 then. Never before I thought I would be in such a deep relationship. It taught me a lot though. I m much more stronger now despite of what happened. Why do I say I would grow old alone and unwanted? That's because no one so far who could resist my bad temper when I m really down, I could drive anyone up the wall. Luckily it only happen once a while. When my stress level is beyond the point, I can't control myself. I was in a long distance relationship, my then boyfriend didn't do me any good. I hardly talk to him, I've got no one to talk to, my best buddy was sent to a very far place to continue her studies. So my only way to alleviate my stress is to work and work and work. How pathetic. I go crazy sometimes. it's bad. I need a counsellor.
- During my schooltime, I always sleep or talk in class. I never did my homework. I copy my homework 15 mins before I hand it in. Even my Physics experiments, I just copy and paste. I dunno how I survive my SPM. I don't know how I managed to go for my Form 6. And again, in Form 6, I m the "Ponteng Queen". My attendence is the lowest in class. My class teacher knew that I'm hopeless. I sleep more in class ever than before because I had to work the night before. My Form 6 Maths book never existed. My Economics teacher is the only one who had some hope on me. Some. At least she had some. My STPM result is the poorest among my friends. Then I got a place in UM. University of Malaya. Everybody's dream to be in there. Being in here changed my life. I started to do my homework and study for my exams. At least better than the old me. But then my lecturer always said that this course had the most percentage of failures, not only in UM but the whole Malaysia. And then again...I m lost.
- I'm anti social sometimes. I like to be alone. I hate crowds. I hate to talk. That's when I m having another dillema. I can't seem to focus on my studies/work. I've got endless problems with people around me.
There's no good in me. I don't know why I m still here. I'm just wasting some of the earth's space and air. Am I having AMS (After Menstrual Syndrome)??? I wonder...
June 23, 2006
It comes in a row...bad things of course!
Air-cond not working...stuck in jam...hot day...some crazy Malaysian drivers...all the way to Shah Alam...and guess what...my laptop's battery not in place. I just need someone with great power to push the laptop's battery in and that's it. Been driving for 2 hours non-stop, got lost in the middle of the road...wondering where's Hicom Glenmarie Industrial Park.
I'm a bit exhausted now...no more bad news for me okay...I can't take it..okay I need some rest now...need ta sleep...zzzzZZZZZZZ
I'm a bit exhausted now...no more bad news for me okay...I can't take it..okay I need some rest now...need ta sleep...zzzzZZZZZZZ
June 22, 2006
I love Deutschland!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I'm officially addicted to this song :
Die Prinzen – „Deutschland“ (2001)
Natürlich hat ein Deutscher "Wetten, dass" erfunden.
Vielen Dank für die schönen Stunden.
Wir sind die freundlichsten Kunden auf dieser Welt.
Wir sind bescheiden - wir haben Geld.
Die Allerbesten in jedem Sport.
Die Steuern hier sind Weltrekord.
Bereisen sie Deutschland und bleiben sie hier.
Auf diese Art von Besuchern warten wir.
Es kann jeder hier wohnen, dem es gefällt.
Wir sind das freundlichste Volk auf dieser Welt.
Nur eine Kleinigkeit ist hier verkehrt.
Und zwar, dass Schumacher keinen Mercedes fährt.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das alles sind wir.
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders - nur hier nur hier.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das sind alle's wir. Wir leben und wir sterben hier.
Es bilden sich viele was auf Deutschland ein.
Und mancher findet es geil, ein Arschloch zu sein.
Es gibt manchen der sich gern über Kanaken beschwert.
Und zum ficken jedes Jahr nach Thailand fährt.
Wir lieben unsere Autos mehr als unsere Frau'n.
Denn deutschen Autos können wir vertrau'n.
Gott hat die Erde nur einmal geküsst.
Genau an dieser Stelle, wo jetzt Deutschland ist.
Wir sind überall die besten - natürlich auch im Bett.
Und zu Hunden und Katzen besonders nett.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das alles sind wir.
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders - nur hier nur hier.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das sind alle's wir. Wir leben und wir sterben hier.
Wir sind besonders gut im Auf-die-Fresse-hau'n,
auch im Feuerlegen kann man uns vertrau'n.
Wir steh'n auf Ordnung und Sauberkeit.
Wir sind jederzeit für 'nen Krieg bereit.
Schönen Gruß an die Welt, seht es endlich ein.
Wir können stolz auf Deutschland... SCHWEIN!
Das alles ist Deutschland - das alles sind wir.
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders - nur hier nur hier.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das sind alle's wir. Wir leben und wir sterben hier.
I'm officially addicted to this song :
Die Prinzen – „Deutschland“ (2001)
Natürlich hat ein Deutscher "Wetten, dass" erfunden.
Vielen Dank für die schönen Stunden.
Wir sind die freundlichsten Kunden auf dieser Welt.
Wir sind bescheiden - wir haben Geld.
Die Allerbesten in jedem Sport.
Die Steuern hier sind Weltrekord.
Bereisen sie Deutschland und bleiben sie hier.
Auf diese Art von Besuchern warten wir.
Es kann jeder hier wohnen, dem es gefällt.
Wir sind das freundlichste Volk auf dieser Welt.
Nur eine Kleinigkeit ist hier verkehrt.
Und zwar, dass Schumacher keinen Mercedes fährt.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das alles sind wir.
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders - nur hier nur hier.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das sind alle's wir. Wir leben und wir sterben hier.
Es bilden sich viele was auf Deutschland ein.
Und mancher findet es geil, ein Arschloch zu sein.
Es gibt manchen der sich gern über Kanaken beschwert.
Und zum ficken jedes Jahr nach Thailand fährt.
Wir lieben unsere Autos mehr als unsere Frau'n.
Denn deutschen Autos können wir vertrau'n.
Gott hat die Erde nur einmal geküsst.
Genau an dieser Stelle, wo jetzt Deutschland ist.
Wir sind überall die besten - natürlich auch im Bett.
Und zu Hunden und Katzen besonders nett.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das alles sind wir.
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders - nur hier nur hier.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das sind alle's wir. Wir leben und wir sterben hier.
Wir sind besonders gut im Auf-die-Fresse-hau'n,
auch im Feuerlegen kann man uns vertrau'n.
Wir steh'n auf Ordnung und Sauberkeit.
Wir sind jederzeit für 'nen Krieg bereit.
Schönen Gruß an die Welt, seht es endlich ein.
Wir können stolz auf Deutschland... SCHWEIN!
Das alles ist Deutschland - das alles sind wir.
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders - nur hier nur hier.
Das alles ist Deutschland - das sind alle's wir. Wir leben und wir sterben hier.
Black Clouds are here
Black clouds are everywhere above my head today. Damn. You see, when I travel too much, I kinda neglect my laptop. So raining or not at home, I don't know. But then today when I got back. My laptop doesnt work at all. Damn. I got so scared. My lil baby didn't responce at all and there's a lil orange light blinking non stop even there's no power supply. Must be the lightling. If I m not mistaken I didnt plug off the power supply. How careless of me.
Then when I got back to my parent's house, on the comp, someone from MSN message me. Yeah, someone from the place where I'm working, kinda harsh though the way he say it. Yeah, my mistake but you don't have to be that harsh. Not my first time though. Always got it from him. He's having period again. Duh...
Then my mother scolded me for someting else not relevent to me. Well, tis is just a small matter I know. When uni reopens, if this thing happen to me, I will really go out and get myself drunk for a few days. Yes, my uni life is damn terrible. Assignments as tall as KLCC, lecturers are moody like Hurricane Katrina, stress like shit, perfectionist are everywhere, traffic jam...everything. That's not even half of what I had to go thru everyday yet. Back home, work work and work...sometimes got scolded for nothing, sometimes got used for nothing, politics, stress again. Then come to my personal life. My relationship problem. Altho I m single now, but sometimes I do have problems especially with my friends. I hope they do understand what I had to go through, I wish I could go back to my parent's house every week and meet up with each and everyone of you but I can't. I've got tons of work to do, even I live under the same rooftop with my grandma but I hardly talk to her because my time is like not enough. I m really stress out. Thinking of it makes me scared. Man, I m so problematic these days. Remaja bermasalah, altho I m no longer a teenager. Aih...
Then when I got back to my parent's house, on the comp, someone from MSN message me. Yeah, someone from the place where I'm working, kinda harsh though the way he say it. Yeah, my mistake but you don't have to be that harsh. Not my first time though. Always got it from him. He's having period again. Duh...
Then my mother scolded me for someting else not relevent to me. Well, tis is just a small matter I know. When uni reopens, if this thing happen to me, I will really go out and get myself drunk for a few days. Yes, my uni life is damn terrible. Assignments as tall as KLCC, lecturers are moody like Hurricane Katrina, stress like shit, perfectionist are everywhere, traffic jam...everything. That's not even half of what I had to go thru everyday yet. Back home, work work and work...sometimes got scolded for nothing, sometimes got used for nothing, politics, stress again. Then come to my personal life. My relationship problem. Altho I m single now, but sometimes I do have problems especially with my friends. I hope they do understand what I had to go through, I wish I could go back to my parent's house every week and meet up with each and everyone of you but I can't. I've got tons of work to do, even I live under the same rooftop with my grandma but I hardly talk to her because my time is like not enough. I m really stress out. Thinking of it makes me scared. Man, I m so problematic these days. Remaja bermasalah, altho I m no longer a teenager. Aih...
June 21, 2006
June 15, 2006
Singapore Pt 2
Yes, I m goin to Singapore (again) tomorrow. I'm excited for tomorrow but someone just spoilt my mood. That fucker whom I treat as a friend. Finally, end of story. I m already very patient with him despite of what he had said and done to me. Fine.
"You're so great, get yourself new friends. Shallow people like you don't deserve to be my friend."
I m damn fucking angry with him I couldn't control my anger. Wanted to blast him so much but I m not gonna waste any gas on him.
"Go fuck urself! I dont care if you mistreat me!"
One thing I miss about my ex is at least he's not a shallow person. But this bugger here, is so damn shallow. I just hate it. Who's him to judge me?
"You're so great, get yourself new friends. Shallow people like you don't deserve to be my friend."
I m damn fucking angry with him I couldn't control my anger. Wanted to blast him so much but I m not gonna waste any gas on him.
"Go fuck urself! I dont care if you mistreat me!"
One thing I miss about my ex is at least he's not a shallow person. But this bugger here, is so damn shallow. I just hate it. Who's him to judge me?
June 13, 2006
Missy Elliot Jacket - I want I want
Went to 1 Utama today. Saw this jacket. RM423. Damn. But I love the bling! I thought I saw the one with a hood. I've search through all the images on yahoo on this. Aww...I like it so much.
June 12, 2006
Be rite back...
Can't update anything though because this computer of mine at my parent's house is a bit sick. Which also means the USB port is sick aswell which means I can't upload any photos from my digicam. Sad fact. So, till I got my laptop back, I'll upload like crazy. Till then...
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