Painful...

"First cut is the deepest"...it's true. I just broke-up with my boyfriend of 2 years. It's damn painful. It's really hard to bear. I still love him though. But things dont go right...I need someone to console me...*sob*

Korean Drama Series

I don't know how they do it but they do attract/drag me to watch it no matter what. So far, I think I m madly with every single series I watched without fail. What is so interesting about them? I don't know. Last few years when Malaysian were on the Japanese drama craze...I dont seem to bother about it at all. I don't even know the name of leading actor of the GTO series until the 8th episode. I don't even care about who's Yutaka...Kanishiro...or who so ever. And recently I m head over heels for the leading man in "My Lovely Samsoon". I felt like a 14 year old drooling in front of the tv...aww...it's just so sweet.

Aww...even me and my grandma is crazy over him now....

Isn't he gorgeous? Hyun Bin is his name. There's also another korean actor that I like...his name is Won Bin

How nice rite? All the leng chais...are in Korea. No offence, but all the good hearted handsome guys in Malaysia are taken. So, Korea...here I come. Haha. Weird...I've never spent so much time looking for a certain actor/actress pictures. Just so weird. I m know for not "worshipping" anyone. But look what am I doing now :P

Free without the freedom

Just finished exam yesterday, felt like a bird flying free up in the air but still felt like flying in a very big cage, like those in Bird Santuary, where u can fly free but still limited to that area. I m having sleeping difficulties, now my sleeping time is the same with the people of the other side of the world. Now I m still very awake at 2am in the morning and will only wake up at noon since then. Now what should I do for this 2 months break? Besides working like usual. Sien, working like that for nearly 4 years. BUt what to do, it's the work that suits me the best, just because I m a student. Felt like travelling but don't know where. Where should I go?

Dutch Exam

My coursemate finished her paper 1 hour after the exam started, another one takes about one and a half hours and another one...1 hour 45 minutes and I took exactly 2 hours to finish. I felt so stressful looking at them. And I m mixing the 'het' word with the 'de' and also those personal pronouns. I know the answer but I mixed it all up. I cant bear to see my results. *Sob* And on Monday my nightmare begins, that's becoz I'll have to sit for 2 German papers which is for me equalvalent to Add Maths plus Dutch and some mixture of Physics.

Add Maths + Dutch Language + Physics = German Language

Yeah and maybe you'll be wondering why I m such a "clever" gal to go and choose this language. Well, I say it's FATE. I wanted to study French but suddenly the thought of having a German for Dummies book (before) made me change my mind. It's a good thing I study German language, at least at my first level someone offerred me RM500 to teach them German Language just for 2 hours per week. And she's willing to give extra if I m willing to teach English aswell. Well, yeah, I know my English sucks here but who cares? I will get paid if I accept the offer. And my english is getting worse, because I m building english sentences with German structure, verb second position...remmeber that. And even when talking to my friends. "What?" became "Was?" and "Quick!!!" became "Schnell!!!"
Heh, and for now, I m mixing up my German and Dutch like mixing up Malay and Indonesian language. Yeah a lot of mixing, I would have mix some cake ingredients, bake cakes with them and sell them and buy myself a nice comfy house and lead a simple life. And for god's sake those german nouns, they have 3 genders!!! And all the 4 cases which is Nominative, Accusative, Dative and Genitive.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking...I m nuts for choosing this kinda course where it's so damn scarce in Malaysia. I wonder sometimes...a bit lesser now. I just wanna get a paper qualification. Fate...my parents sent me to a private university for a Marketing course and look what I've gotten myself into? A language course in a local uni. Well, for now I m always looking at the bright side of the language. ;)

.: I got 2 paper to finish, one on the 24th and 27th. So to those of you reading my blog, I m sorry for the lack of updates and reply to ur messages. Thousand apologies. I need loadsa luck and support to get me through this. *Pray*...Awww...

hahaha...funny shit

no other jokes can crank me up today, not even "The Three Stooges"...not even "America's funniest home videos" and not even "The Gods must be Crazy"...I was in the exam hall answering those weird looking questions in the paper, I felt so damn stupid. I can't even think...I felt I had drank too much coffee. Coffee is bad when it comes to exam time, I think I m having illusions, I cant even think properly...Damn. And everyone's leaving the exam hall because this paper is just too easy for them and I was struggling till the very last second. I felt very bad. I was laughing at myself after I get out from the exam hall. Felt relieved but damn stupid. Who the hell who asked me to drink coffee just to stay up and eat all the facts and definations for one whole semester? I m having illusions till now actually. I can bear to see my grades. Well, if everyone thinks that tis paper is damn hard then it's okay for me, but it hurts my ear so much when everyone around me keep on emphazing how easy it was.

"That paper damn easy huh?"
"My gawd, it's so damn easy, I think I will get an A for this"
"I finished the paper at 4 o'clock, I've got so much time I don't know what to do"
"Wow, that was great! It's so easy to score"

Hello? Did they even think of my feelings? Hurts a lot but it's funny to me. Well, I m having illusions remmeber. Everything around me is funny now. I can't take caffeine. I must stop drinking.

why am i still here?

exam later at 3 pm and guess what...i m still here blogging....the more stressful i m the more time i wanna stick to my comp...i m hopeless...yeah..hopeless...gosh :(

Drag Queen

I will be having TITAS 2 exam tomorrow, this is my finals and guess what, I m still here surfing the net, writing testimonials for my friends and laughing my ass off with the tv series. And tomorrow's my TITAS 2 exam. What is TITAS? It's a exam made compulsory to all the local uni students in Malaysia so that we suffer more. And what izzit all about? Aha...TITAS 1 is all about Islam and its civilization. TITAS 2 is world civilization which includes Chinese, Indian, Japan and etc. And guess what? I m still in the first chapter. My frens have already flown to "China" and some to "Japan" and I'm still waiting in "KLIA" waiting to take off. I wonder if I can ever finish the whole book. For ur information, I havent touch this book since last week. I have never seen this book for the whole semester because I never attend the lecture class with this book or any lecture notes. This is such a big embarassment. Hopefully I don't fail. Okay, the korean series has just started, time to go...yeah, I will study after this. ;P

exam exam

yeah...exam stress...stress till I m not sure if i m a male or female...cant even remmeber my fullname....my addresss...owh...i m stress!!!

what a hot day

I m sweating like a pig, sticky like UHU glue, u can post my body anywhere just like post-it-notes becoz i m as sticky as that. I think I will need another 2-3 time shower after this. The air cond is not helping. I ban myself from ice-creams becoz I m on diet. Yes, very strict diet. I need a cup of peel fresh iced or iced lemon tea now. Any fruit juice will do. Oh, I miss watermelon juice. Actually I miss all the fruit juices available. Oh, I miss jelly with ice-cream. Hmm...maybe without the ice-cream. Maybe some jelly shakes. That's my favourite. Some flavoured jelly in iced lemon tea with longan. Aww...hot hot hot. What do u wish to have?

Imperfect

Felt really low today. I know I m imperfect. That's why no one ever appreciate me for who I m trully. What is it like to have a perfect brain, perfect body and perfect etc? Is that like happily ever after story? Just a thought...

Have u ever felt being imperfect? I m just an ordinary human. Why do people around me expects so much from me? I know who I m. Sometimes it's just so hard to be me. I wish I had something perfect. Owh...

Come and tell me ur problems...

I m the new "Aunt Agony" and "Big Sista" in town who only know how to solve and give other people advise on their problems but sadly not myself. I just realised it today. Yeah, I m good in calming people, conselling people over their mariage problems and so on. Weird. It's freaking weird but that's what I do. I always lend an ear a some brain to those who needed it. I need to find my own "Aunt Agony" aswell. Anyone?

I GAVE U THE WARNING!!!!

TO the guy who had just offended me:
I told before whatever u said just dont over my limit. I don't mind u call me a fat bitch or what so ever....u think u r good har? Sorry to say that u make ur mum sounds like a bitch which makes son of a bitch. U have to try to clean ur mouth becoz ur mouth stinks like shit and u never appreciate inner beauty and what u do is just discriminating me. What's wrong with you? Is my weight a very big problem for you? Hey, listen u r not even my father or boyfriend to tell me that. I m not even related to u. U need my help and look what u have turn this situation? Fuck u. I don't care if u say i m FUGLY or a FAT BITCH. I love myself very much, I wont risk my life just to be under weight and look pretty. U think I will listen to u? U can dream on...I wouldn't wanna risk my life just for u. Even if u r my future husband or what so ever, u r not worth my time. Not worth my thoughts and not worth my soul. People who only know how to talk cock and expect a lot from me spells a "L" on his forehead. So there goes, U R A LOSER! U think u r very good hah? Prove it to me. I can't deny the fact that I m not pretty but at elast I know ho to be CONSIDERATE and TAKE CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELING. U r so judgemental towards everyone. FUCK YOU!!!

I have different brain...maybe branier

Yeah, I admit I m damn perahsan today. So what, at least this can make me feel proud a bit of my future profession as a linguist after all the hard work and endless night of hardwork. Yeah, read on and u will know what I mean:

Linguists have different brains
LONDON (BBC Health News) -- Gifted linguists could have a different brain shape and structure from those of other people, a study suggests.
Neuroscientists at University College London say they have more "white brain matter" in a part of the brain which processes sound.
Their brains could also be less symmetrical than others.
It is hoped the research, published in the journal Cerebral Cortex, could be used help to identify reasons for language difficulties.
Those involved in the trial -- all native French speakers -- were asked to distinguish between two similar sounds from different languages.
The first was the "d" sound found in their own language which is made by placing the tip of the tongue against the top teeth.
The second was a "d" found in Hindi, which is pronounced by curling the tongue upwards towards the roof of the mouth.
Both types of d were followed by the letter a, so the participants heard "da".
The differences between the sounds are heard in the first 40 milliseconds.
Researchers tested the speed at which participants could process the information.
Those who identified more than 80% of sounds correctly were then asked to listen to even more acoustically similar sounds.
Some of the fastest learners were able to tell these apart within a few minutes, while the slowest learners were only able to make random guesses at the less difficult stage after 20 minutes of training.
Predicting abilities
Dr. Narly Golestani from UCL's Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience said the brain's white matter was involved in the efficient processing of sound information into the lower levels of the brain -- known as the primary cortex.
Its fibers are involved in connecting brain regions together. Fast language learners had a greater volume, and that may mean they have more or perhaps thicker fibers, she said.
"The bigger picture is that we are starting to understand that brain shape and structure can be informative about people's abilities or pathologies - why people are good at some things and not others is evident from these scans," she said.
White brain matter is involved in connecting different parts of the brain together, and greater amounts of this could indicate an increased ability to process sound.
In faster learners, brain scans showed a greater volume of white matter in the left auditory region known as Heschl's gyrus, where sound is processed.
And there was a difference in its position in the right brain hemisphere between faster and slower learners.
The researchers also found there was greater asymmetry in the volume of the parietal lobes, which are also involved in the processing of speech sound in the left hemisphere of the brain.
Previous research suggested that having a talent for music was linked to the structure of grey matter in the brain.
This latest research could be extended to other applications, Dr. Narly said. "We can start to make predictions regarding whether people will be good at something or not based on their brain structure," she said," or diagnose clinical problems."

...got this from http://www.tehrantimes.com/Description.asp?Da=4/10/2006&Cat=7&Num=7

I m totally Broke $$$

The old me would just buy any food available on the shelf. The new me would count count and count if every cereal worth every single cent. That's bad.

The old me wouldn't care about the government's decision to increase or to decrease oil prices. The new me would think of the shortest route to drive home. That's good or bad?

The old me would shop till I drop each time I got the chance to shop. U see, I m don't like shopping that much but once I shop, I shop. But now, it's been months since I buy something for myself. Hurhur...

The old me would work hard everyday and my boss loves me so much...that was last time. The new me hardly have time for my work and I dont know if my boss still know I existed. Dang!

The old me would buy things for my loved one once in a while, yeah, everyone around me. The new me only buy birthday prezzies for close frens and no more once-in-a-while-gifts.

2006 indeed has changed me. From a once-so-generous gal to a stingy-pathetic-grumpy gal. Yeah, I m getting more and more gumpy these days, not because of PMS but yeah...too much stress in life.

Starry starry eyes...

Money money nice...

useless boyfriend

Yeah, today i m gonna blog about useless boyfriend. A useless boyfriend to me is like this:

- didn't give emotional support to you
- only come to you when he needs you
- will only call u once a month or 2 months once just because he's in another state
- acts like an idiot
- never meet ur parents before
- never grow up or improves himself
- only cares about himself
- forgets ur birthday
- never initiate to say nice things
- thought that a 2 year old relationship is worth abandoning (means no nid to be as nice as the first year)
- don't even know where ur house is
- ask u to pay for the meal aswell
- don't even care about u and when u asked why he said u didnt do the same
- complains day and night about u
- never back up u even the parents say bad things about u
- a MOMMA's BOY
- never tell u a single thing about himself
- don't allow u to touch him in public, he can oni touch u when he feel like it
- a TOTAL jerk
- embarass u in public and yet u r still there for him
- do things without ur permission and yet he think it's fun

So in conclusion, it's time to change the boyfriend and not u. Never ever change urself just to suit someone. If he's not compatible why waste time?

Busy (3 Oral Exams for 3 days in a row)

Yeah, crazy isn't it? 2 German language oral exam and 1 Dutch language. Aih... It felt like the end of the world for me. *SOB*