"You've put on weight!!!"
My friends just arrived here yesterday and that's the first thing they said to me. Not "Hello", not "How are you?" but THAT. :'(
I had a Doener yesterday and I've been addicted to that ever since. I m addicted to Doener. Can't help it. They tastes soooo good that I wanna bring back another 5 for breakfast and lunch and another round of dinner.
And now it's time for me to have a temporary break from cheeses and sausages. I m diverting that energy to Doener and more Doener and much more Doener. That explains my extra 1kg here. ;-)
I felt sick yesterday...very uneasy and also emotional. Jeez...I have 2 times period this month. Of course I m having bad mood. Hormone imbalance. I need to see the doctor once I m back in Malaysia. This can't be happening, I need to put a stop to this. Apart from being absolutely crazy like always, I've just developed a new habit. Which is.....oh no...I can't tell you that. Yeah...I can't tell it here. Shhhhhhh....
Essen Motorshow this Sunday. Waheee. My guy friends said that I m abnormal. Girls are not meant to like cars. But I m different. :p
November 30, 2007
November 28, 2007
New Passion
Looks like I m the only person in class who studies German Language for future (for my degree and my dream of becoming a translator/interpreter). 90 percent of the people I know here learn German Language because of their husbands and boyfriends. Hurhurhur. And I m the only idiot who actually study it for a degree. But I m proud because....so far, I m the only one from Malaysia (my friends have not arrive yet). It means I will be needed back in my Heimatland....hopefully.
When asked why did they choose to learn german language, this is what they said:
"My husband is a german"
"My boyfriend is a german'
"I married a german guy"
It's weird but I think I am in love with studying. Hahahaha. I can't wait for the next class and the other. It's fun and I didn't fell asleep at all. Funny eh? I even did my homework. Wonderful isn't it. Apart from studying, I did my revision. How weird can that be? For 22 years since I came to this world, I actually enjoy what I did for now...studying.
I like it here because I got weird classmates. There's one guy from Japan, he sits beside me and he's crazy like me but more on the quiet side. He said he learns german language to forget about lovesick. And I have to bear with his craziness because he's my language partner in class. Duh.
Then there's a woman from Romania who sits on my left hand side, she cracks jokes like there's no tomorrow (yeah, she's another one with a german husband). Another crazy woman. And there's another one from Turkey and Taiwan, all crazy people.
And guess what. The whole world is learning german language and why in Malaysia there's only 6 of us? There's another university in Malaysia who offered german language course but they're way far far far behind us.
South Koreans are everywhere in the uni, Taiwanese and people from east Europe are here and where the hell are all the Malaysians? There're even a few Singaporeans here. Jeez...Malaysians only spend their money for Guccis and Pradas and food but not into education. How sad can that be?
The past few days was not easy for me. I had to go through the scary part of taking public transportation in Germany all by myself. The public transportation here is so good....I felt very uneasy. But I was brave enough to go through that alone. ALONE!!! It's not easy...first with the bus and then with the S-Bahn and then U-Bahn and then the trains. I m all alone in a foreign country with super duper hi-tech transportation system. Back in Malaysia, I don't even use the bus to travel. Imagine that. But I told myself not to be scared since I m already that BRAVE enough to come here (to another side of the world) all by myself.
Pardon my english. I've been speaking german and only german here. I didn't know my level of german is actually usable. Hahaha. I went in for a test to determine my level of german without studying so that I know my level of proficiency. I got a 6. That means I am in level 6 out of 10 levels. That's quite high as level 10 is university level and I think I don't deserve to be in level 6. And I am the only one in my class who is a newbie. My classmates had gone through a few levels of german language before they can get into level 6. The problem for me now is that my Vocabulary is always in English and my grammar sucks big time. And also my confusion with the other 6 languages.
My host was so impressed with my ability of learning languages and also communicating with people of different races, she said that I have an IQ level of 200 to 300. Another radiology doctor said that I have greater brains than his. I get loadsa compliments in Germany but back in Malaysia I am no doubt a piece of shit. Language students get more exposure here and a wider range of career and studies. That's why I m a piece of shit in Malaysia like what "yellow" said to his parents about me. Language is not even an important subject back home, it's merely to talk and to bullshit. If I have the chance, I would consider to study here but I would like to work first and see how my future goes.
Man....I love to study. Weird eh?
------------------------------------------------------
Boy oh boy...I m getting fat. I will go back to Malaysia as a whale. I eat non-stop, and I just can't help it. I went to 3 different Christmas Market today and I ate:
...all by myself. I have really HUGE appetite here. I can't imagine what will happen to me in the next few weeks. Not even 1 week here I m already eating like that...
When asked why did they choose to learn german language, this is what they said:
"My husband is a german"
"My boyfriend is a german'
"I married a german guy"
It's weird but I think I am in love with studying. Hahahaha. I can't wait for the next class and the other. It's fun and I didn't fell asleep at all. Funny eh? I even did my homework. Wonderful isn't it. Apart from studying, I did my revision. How weird can that be? For 22 years since I came to this world, I actually enjoy what I did for now...studying.
I like it here because I got weird classmates. There's one guy from Japan, he sits beside me and he's crazy like me but more on the quiet side. He said he learns german language to forget about lovesick. And I have to bear with his craziness because he's my language partner in class. Duh.
Then there's a woman from Romania who sits on my left hand side, she cracks jokes like there's no tomorrow (yeah, she's another one with a german husband). Another crazy woman. And there's another one from Turkey and Taiwan, all crazy people.
And guess what. The whole world is learning german language and why in Malaysia there's only 6 of us? There's another university in Malaysia who offered german language course but they're way far far far behind us.
South Koreans are everywhere in the uni, Taiwanese and people from east Europe are here and where the hell are all the Malaysians? There're even a few Singaporeans here. Jeez...Malaysians only spend their money for Guccis and Pradas and food but not into education. How sad can that be?
The past few days was not easy for me. I had to go through the scary part of taking public transportation in Germany all by myself. The public transportation here is so good....I felt very uneasy. But I was brave enough to go through that alone. ALONE!!! It's not easy...first with the bus and then with the S-Bahn and then U-Bahn and then the trains. I m all alone in a foreign country with super duper hi-tech transportation system. Back in Malaysia, I don't even use the bus to travel. Imagine that. But I told myself not to be scared since I m already that BRAVE enough to come here (to another side of the world) all by myself.
Pardon my english. I've been speaking german and only german here. I didn't know my level of german is actually usable. Hahaha. I went in for a test to determine my level of german without studying so that I know my level of proficiency. I got a 6. That means I am in level 6 out of 10 levels. That's quite high as level 10 is university level and I think I don't deserve to be in level 6. And I am the only one in my class who is a newbie. My classmates had gone through a few levels of german language before they can get into level 6. The problem for me now is that my Vocabulary is always in English and my grammar sucks big time. And also my confusion with the other 6 languages.
My host was so impressed with my ability of learning languages and also communicating with people of different races, she said that I have an IQ level of 200 to 300. Another radiology doctor said that I have greater brains than his. I get loadsa compliments in Germany but back in Malaysia I am no doubt a piece of shit. Language students get more exposure here and a wider range of career and studies. That's why I m a piece of shit in Malaysia like what "yellow" said to his parents about me. Language is not even an important subject back home, it's merely to talk and to bullshit. If I have the chance, I would consider to study here but I would like to work first and see how my future goes.
Man....I love to study. Weird eh?
------------------------------------------------------
Boy oh boy...I m getting fat. I will go back to Malaysia as a whale. I eat non-stop, and I just can't help it. I went to 3 different Christmas Market today and I ate:
...all by myself. I have really HUGE appetite here. I can't imagine what will happen to me in the next few weeks. Not even 1 week here I m already eating like that...
November 26, 2007
Wheee
Today I woke up with good mood and great people around me. I found my host finally. Stupid organizer gave me the wrong address. And guess what I did? I baked cookies. 6 types of cookies and we're laughing and giggling. I m living with my host and her daughter, a korean girl and her english boyfriend and a dog. An international family they called it.
I m going fat. I had loadsa cheese, bacon, potatoes and bread everyday. Oh gosh!
I m going fat. I had loadsa cheese, bacon, potatoes and bread everyday. Oh gosh!
November 24, 2007
Oh...
I got nothing better to do...I walk around again...and again and again...and then I took some pics. And then I blog. After this I m going to walk around again and take pics again and blog again...
I m a bit worried now. My host family didn't reply my email and it seems like I lost everyone's contact. Suddenly I felt scared to be alone. Like I m all alone here.
Düsseldorf is a small city. It looked so big on the map. I went to Kö 3 times in 4 hours time. I walked around the place and ended up in Altstadt and then I m back there again. Everyone is doing Christmas shopping and I m walking endlessly with nowhere to go. Suddenly I have no appetite to eat, no mood to do anything.
Oh yah, this morning someone guessed that I m from Malaysia. People back in Malaysia couldn't tell if I m Malaysian. Weird...he said I looked like Malaysian. Hahaha.
And also this morning, I saw someone wearing no pants. OMG!!!
Why do I feel scared suddenly? I should have feel scared the moment I board the plane. The best part is: My dad just knew that I m alone here. He thought I m with my friends. I think I have serious communication problem with everyone. Or something have gone missing in my life?
Please everyone....please go online on your MSN. Where did everybody go? Why didn't I see anyone that I can talk to? Maybe some chocolates will cure me. My host family is driving me nuts if they don't reply my email.
I m a bit worried now. My host family didn't reply my email and it seems like I lost everyone's contact. Suddenly I felt scared to be alone. Like I m all alone here.
Düsseldorf is a small city. It looked so big on the map. I went to Kö 3 times in 4 hours time. I walked around the place and ended up in Altstadt and then I m back there again. Everyone is doing Christmas shopping and I m walking endlessly with nowhere to go. Suddenly I have no appetite to eat, no mood to do anything.
Oh yah, this morning someone guessed that I m from Malaysia. People back in Malaysia couldn't tell if I m Malaysian. Weird...he said I looked like Malaysian. Hahaha.
And also this morning, I saw someone wearing no pants. OMG!!!
Why do I feel scared suddenly? I should have feel scared the moment I board the plane. The best part is: My dad just knew that I m alone here. He thought I m with my friends. I think I have serious communication problem with everyone. Or something have gone missing in my life?
Please everyone....please go online on your MSN. Where did everybody go? Why didn't I see anyone that I can talk to? Maybe some chocolates will cure me. My host family is driving me nuts if they don't reply my email.
Tell me what's the date and time now
I m so confused with the time. It's 3.30 am now and I m going to shower because I think I didn't shower for 2 days already or is it 3 days? I forgot to bring my toothbrush.....again. Hurhurhur...
I went to a shop nearby and I bought some groceries and 2 toothbrushes. I think groceries in Malaysia is pretty expensive compared to here. But eating out is definately cheaper in Malayia. I have not tried any of the restaurants here yet becoz I won't be able to finish everything alone and it will be a waste of money. I can't wait for my friends to come. What is life without people? The answer would be: No life at all.
Today I will be visiting the Altstadt and Kö. And I will be walking there of course. Walking down the streets here is not tiring because it's not hot. I definately prefer the outdoors here.
Okay...time to shower. In Malaysia we do it 2-3 times a day. But here, I felt terrified to shower.
I went to a shop nearby and I bought some groceries and 2 toothbrushes. I think groceries in Malaysia is pretty expensive compared to here. But eating out is definately cheaper in Malayia. I have not tried any of the restaurants here yet becoz I won't be able to finish everything alone and it will be a waste of money. I can't wait for my friends to come. What is life without people? The answer would be: No life at all.
Today I will be visiting the Altstadt and Kö. And I will be walking there of course. Walking down the streets here is not tiring because it's not hot. I definately prefer the outdoors here.
Okay...time to shower. In Malaysia we do it 2-3 times a day. But here, I felt terrified to shower.
November 23, 2007
Germany - 1st day
Okay....I reached here safely after hours and hours of flight. Met some nice people, and the best part is I can speak german with the taxi driver and he understands me...completely. Wahahahaha...anyway, I don't know what is wrong with me, I felt pretty gloomy just like the weather. Maybe I got a lil tired with the long journey.
It feels like home here just that the weather is cold and the people on the streets are with different skin colour and I am way way smaller than them in many many ways even if I gain weight I will still be way way smaller than them. I like the roads and the buldings because that's the only thing I saw. I m confused with the time zone and I m feeling sleepy at 3pm in the afternoon.
Till then.....
It feels like home here just that the weather is cold and the people on the streets are with different skin colour and I am way way smaller than them in many many ways even if I gain weight I will still be way way smaller than them. I like the roads and the buldings because that's the only thing I saw. I m confused with the time zone and I m feeling sleepy at 3pm in the afternoon.
Till then.....
We meet people for a reason
I m in Dubai airport right now. I nearly vommited inside the plane after a very digusting meal called "Nasi Himpit". Don't try that no matter what. After 7 hours of struggling on where to put my legs and head and body, I found temporary peace here. Here I m in the Emirates Business Lounge. Enjoying tonnes of food and drinks. Wahahahahahaha. All these thanks to my weirdness of attracting people lead me to a nice middle-aged woman and so happened that her daughter who's there aswell studied in the same university like I do, just that different course...all that in KLIA. And so happened that her daughter is a good friend of my friend and so we talked endlessly about how small the world is. We got parted inside the place, I had to sit at the back of the plane because of my lovely sit number 49D while theirs is 15 something. Then I found them again in Dubai International Airport and now with her husband (who's working in Dubai) is a frequent flyer with Emirates and they got me in here for FREE. They are flying to Venice...woo....nice.
OMG...another 7 hours plane ride. Next time, don't ever transit, it is very torturing. Never ever transit. Remember that. My next flight would be in 4 hours time and I can't wait to sleep at my hotel room.
Till then....
OMG...another 7 hours plane ride. Next time, don't ever transit, it is very torturing. Never ever transit. Remember that. My next flight would be in 4 hours time and I can't wait to sleep at my hotel room.
Till then....
November 22, 2007
Bye bye Malaysia
Will be leaving the house in a few hours' time. Will I get homesick? Foodsick maybe...
This is a good chance to leave all the emotional baggage and also those problematic people behind for awhile. I felt happy although there's a German paper on Monday. For the very first time in my life I felt happy for an exam. Hehe.
"Don't you get excited?"
"When are you leaving? I m sure you can't sleep for days"
The answer is, "No".
I felt very neutral. No special feelings, no excitement, no emotions.
On the other hand, I hope:
- I don't get to meet weird Arabians or any weird weird stuff during the flight and after the flight
- I can survive winter
- I don't put on weight (please don't put on any weight, nononononononono)
- get a nice watch for my sister (if I don't, she'll probably tear my ear with her nags)
- I get nice hosts (I bought batik for them and tonnes of rare Malaysian biscuits)
- to get Internet connection wherever I go
Okay...I have to get ready now. See ya all in Dubai and then Germany...
This is a good chance to leave all the emotional baggage and also those problematic people behind for awhile. I felt happy although there's a German paper on Monday. For the very first time in my life I felt happy for an exam. Hehe.
"Don't you get excited?"
"When are you leaving? I m sure you can't sleep for days"
The answer is, "No".
I felt very neutral. No special feelings, no excitement, no emotions.
On the other hand, I hope:
- I don't get to meet weird Arabians or any weird weird stuff during the flight and after the flight
- I can survive winter
- I don't put on weight (please don't put on any weight, nononononononono)
- get a nice watch for my sister (if I don't, she'll probably tear my ear with her nags)
- I get nice hosts (I bought batik for them and tonnes of rare Malaysian biscuits)
- to get Internet connection wherever I go
Okay...I have to get ready now. See ya all in Dubai and then Germany...
November 17, 2007
Unwanted attention....again
It's just sad sometimes to know that so many people pick up on me. You wanna know why? It seems like my name, yes my name, me, myself and I has been a hit topic around this area where I call home, a place where I grew up with my friends, a place where I all my childhood memories were stored. A place where I had my very first crush when I was 4 years old.
I don't mind other people's parents telling my own parents' how stupid their daughter is or how she could end up in the oh-so-prestigious university of the country, what I can't stand most is how and why out of a sudden in these few years, people started to look down on me just because I'm a linguistic student after so much of brain cells burned to be able to speak a few foreign language? I don't understand this at all, this is nonsense. I am not even a celebrity. They think they're SO-DAMN-GOOD in prediction everyone's future saying that my future would be a gloomy one...yada yada...I wonder why they didn't help out with the never ending Iraqi issues or better still...global warming and climate change solution?
Someone...okay....Someone let's call him "Yellow", he's my neighbour and also ex-classmate, he told his parents about me being in a stupid course, and his parents' spread the news (in front of my parents) in a banquet to other people about my stupidity in a stupid course. And I wish he could just keep his mouth shut and study properly instead of having sex with his girlfriend when everyone's studying for that piece of paper. Although a piece of paper qualification doesn't mean much in how you define SUCCESS but at least it's a piece of paper to let you start somewhere.
I think everyone look at me as someone who doesn't have brains or what? I don't know, I don't mind people calling me ugly and stupid but I can be sure I m more SUPERIOR that their mouth. At least I don't pretend in front of my enemies, IF I DON'T LIKE YOU, I WON'T BE NICE TO YOU BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO. Period.
I m hurt. Deeply hurt. Why would everyone here give a BIG DAMN about me of my preference of not liking books, not liking to memorise thing, my preferences, my choices and why why why do I have to be in their topic of conversation? I don't even see them and for some, I don't even know them. And why is my choice of studies be a hit-topic around them?
"Why do you take this weird course?"
"Why study something that people don't wanna study?"
"Why don't you choose something professional like law, business, etc etc?"
When I first started, I DO still tell them why and how and what and who. But....since I've been asked for gazzilion times about that, I would simply reply,
"I wanna marry a german. So that I can eat more Bratwurst, drink more beer and drive a german car."
That's good enough to shut their mouth for years to come. If they still go on (again) with that I would reply them,
"Well, I wanna be a multi-lingualprostitute and serve that country. You know, the more you know the language, the more customers you will get afterall studying is not my cup of tea. And I like get laid while earning Euros. ;)"
I've been nice to them. Really nice. I don't mean to be rude buy I have my limit. Since they like to see me gone bad, or as a BIG FAILURE and that I-should-not-live-on-earth kinda thing, it's such a nice feeling to pull their legs and put in lies just to make them happy in another way. I m enjoying it, especially the "prostitute-statement"
My dad said this to me just now,"This place is bad for you. Go head somewhere else where you can be yourself."
What do you expect me to reply him when he said this to me? I m sorry that I had dissapoint him because I m not a filial daughter, not filial enough I should say. I don't need anymore unwanted attention from other people. I had enough. Really enough.
All I want is to be simple. I feel comfortable in my short pants and T-shirt without make-up laughing like a hyenna while walking along the streets so no one could pay any unwanted attention to me. But I do still get unwanted attention from strangers. Why?
I should turn this into something. Perhaps I should sell insurance to them since I m such a big attention-graber and turn myself as the first millionaire selling insurance. Good idea eh? Nosy people just can't stop being nosy. Busybody @$$h0L35!!!
I m hurt because I don't look like someone intelligent, I m not pretty, I look poor, I look like I am meant to be "The Failure". Owh...I felt so hurt. Damn it.
I don't mind other people's parents telling my own parents' how stupid their daughter is or how she could end up in the oh-so-prestigious university of the country, what I can't stand most is how and why out of a sudden in these few years, people started to look down on me just because I'm a linguistic student after so much of brain cells burned to be able to speak a few foreign language? I don't understand this at all, this is nonsense. I am not even a celebrity. They think they're SO-DAMN-GOOD in prediction everyone's future saying that my future would be a gloomy one...yada yada...I wonder why they didn't help out with the never ending Iraqi issues or better still...global warming and climate change solution?
Someone...okay....Someone let's call him "Yellow", he's my neighbour and also ex-classmate, he told his parents about me being in a stupid course, and his parents' spread the news (in front of my parents) in a banquet to other people about my stupidity in a stupid course. And I wish he could just keep his mouth shut and study properly instead of having sex with his girlfriend when everyone's studying for that piece of paper. Although a piece of paper qualification doesn't mean much in how you define SUCCESS but at least it's a piece of paper to let you start somewhere.
I think everyone look at me as someone who doesn't have brains or what? I don't know, I don't mind people calling me ugly and stupid but I can be sure I m more SUPERIOR that their mouth. At least I don't pretend in front of my enemies, IF I DON'T LIKE YOU, I WON'T BE NICE TO YOU BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO. Period.
I m hurt. Deeply hurt. Why would everyone here give a BIG DAMN about me of my preference of not liking books, not liking to memorise thing, my preferences, my choices and why why why do I have to be in their topic of conversation? I don't even see them and for some, I don't even know them. And why is my choice of studies be a hit-topic around them?
"Why do you take this weird course?"
"Why study something that people don't wanna study?"
"Why don't you choose something professional like law, business, etc etc?"
When I first started, I DO still tell them why and how and what and who. But....since I've been asked for gazzilion times about that, I would simply reply,
"I wanna marry a german. So that I can eat more Bratwurst, drink more beer and drive a german car."
That's good enough to shut their mouth for years to come. If they still go on (again) with that I would reply them,
"Well, I wanna be a multi-lingualprostitute and serve that country. You know, the more you know the language, the more customers you will get afterall studying is not my cup of tea. And I like get laid while earning Euros. ;)"
I've been nice to them. Really nice. I don't mean to be rude buy I have my limit. Since they like to see me gone bad, or as a BIG FAILURE and that I-should-not-live-on-earth kinda thing, it's such a nice feeling to pull their legs and put in lies just to make them happy in another way. I m enjoying it, especially the "prostitute-statement"
My dad said this to me just now,"This place is bad for you. Go head somewhere else where you can be yourself."
What do you expect me to reply him when he said this to me? I m sorry that I had dissapoint him because I m not a filial daughter, not filial enough I should say. I don't need anymore unwanted attention from other people. I had enough. Really enough.
All I want is to be simple. I feel comfortable in my short pants and T-shirt without make-up laughing like a hyenna while walking along the streets so no one could pay any unwanted attention to me. But I do still get unwanted attention from strangers. Why?
I should turn this into something. Perhaps I should sell insurance to them since I m such a big attention-graber and turn myself as the first millionaire selling insurance. Good idea eh? Nosy people just can't stop being nosy. Busybody @$$h0L35!!!
I m hurt because I don't look like someone intelligent, I m not pretty, I look poor, I look like I am meant to be "The Failure". Owh...I felt so hurt. Damn it.
November 12, 2007
Damn
Just when I thought life would give me chocolates and sweets....
I got fined. RM100....that's about 20 Euro and there goes my lunch. Now I have to count everything in Euro, have to get use to the system before I spend like mad. That means bread for lunch and dinner. Serves me right!
Those money diggers! Filty money diggers! It's so weird because those people writting the summons were so damn quick. Quick when it comes to money but slow in service.. I swear it was only 3 minutes. 3 minutes!!!! I got no spare change with me. How can they treat me like that? I need at least 5 minutes to change my money into coins rite? Damn it. Coins...!!! Just because of 60 cents and a few minutes I have to eat bread.
#$%^*()^&!!!! Arghhhhhh
I got fined. RM100....that's about 20 Euro and there goes my lunch. Now I have to count everything in Euro, have to get use to the system before I spend like mad. That means bread for lunch and dinner. Serves me right!
Those money diggers! Filty money diggers! It's so weird because those people writting the summons were so damn quick. Quick when it comes to money but slow in service.. I swear it was only 3 minutes. 3 minutes!!!! I got no spare change with me. How can they treat me like that? I need at least 5 minutes to change my money into coins rite? Damn it. Coins...!!! Just because of 60 cents and a few minutes I have to eat bread.
#$%^*()^&!!!! Arghhhhhh
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