I don't only have problems with other people's ex-es but also my own. Yeah, they should be burn in hell. Can't believe I am actually that stupid to love someone in the past.
Hello Mr. Ex,
You can now go bang the wall and fly kite. You're not worth any of the air on earth and just go fuck yourself. You went too far seriously and of course I wouldn't wanna do that or pay any revenge to you. I will let God decide. Amen.
My token of appreciation is taken for granted. Fine. Just do whatever u want in ur life and I shall delete you forever and ever from my memory.
Yours sincerely,
Your bloody ex-girlfriend who is stupid enough to be connned by you for years.
P.S: Thank you for giving me such a great time crying for fucks! I am happy that I left you years ago. God bless me for leaving you in the first place. I could have suffered more if I didn't take the plunge to do that. I thought I regretted it, but now it's so clear I've made the right choice. It's completing a puzzle by leaving you. I won't say sorry because you're the one who should say it but I will never wanna hear it from you because I would not want to hear from you.
June 30, 2008
June 29, 2008
School reunion
It's been 5 years since I met my school friends. And...phewwww....everyone has changed tremendously and some still stay the same.
And of course, me on the other hand. According to them, changed the most. From physical appearance to how I brought up the conversation to expressing my views.
5 years back I was the lioness of the class. All they can remember is my favourite past time of scolding everyone, ordering everyone to do work. Yeah, I am the Head of Cleaniness of the class. What to do?
5 years after, which is now, they have seen a softer me. A more patient and quiet me. I was laughing till my tears came out when I heard that. Lioness to a quiet girl. Hahaha.
It's such a great feeling to meet up with them and everyone is heading their own way of life. They have gone matured and became more friendly. I mean, last time they wouldn't even want to talk to me. Now they know the importance of networking.
The best moment of all is when everybody listens to what I say. 5 years back I was more like a dust. Flying endlessly without being noticed.
And the best part would be, they are people (yeap, plural) asking me if I am single or do I have a boyfriend. Wahahaha. 5 years back, I think they probably thought that, "Hmmm, this girl would never get to date anyone. She's just so fugly." This question will never hit me. It seems very impossible.
Maybe I have really changed into an another person. Who knows...
And of course, me on the other hand. According to them, changed the most. From physical appearance to how I brought up the conversation to expressing my views.
5 years back I was the lioness of the class. All they can remember is my favourite past time of scolding everyone, ordering everyone to do work. Yeah, I am the Head of Cleaniness of the class. What to do?
5 years after, which is now, they have seen a softer me. A more patient and quiet me. I was laughing till my tears came out when I heard that. Lioness to a quiet girl. Hahaha.
It's such a great feeling to meet up with them and everyone is heading their own way of life. They have gone matured and became more friendly. I mean, last time they wouldn't even want to talk to me. Now they know the importance of networking.
The best moment of all is when everybody listens to what I say. 5 years back I was more like a dust. Flying endlessly without being noticed.
And the best part would be, they are people (yeap, plural) asking me if I am single or do I have a boyfriend. Wahahaha. 5 years back, I think they probably thought that, "Hmmm, this girl would never get to date anyone. She's just so fugly." This question will never hit me. It seems very impossible.
Maybe I have really changed into an another person. Who knows...
June 26, 2008
Voiceless
I lost my voice. Which I find totalllly amazing and funny at the same time.
Whenever someone tries to talk to me, I will give them a sign...that I can't speak because I am having a bad sore throat and cold.
Wahahahaha....I don't know how I am going to work on Monday with a running nose and being voiceless. A voiceless consultant. Boohooo...
Whenever someone tries to talk to me, I will give them a sign...that I can't speak because I am having a bad sore throat and cold.
Wahahahaha....I don't know how I am going to work on Monday with a running nose and being voiceless. A voiceless consultant. Boohooo...
June 25, 2008
Affairs of the Heart
I was on my gmail chat today for a few hours because usually I don't use it as much as my MSN. Then I saw my ex on my list. He was online and I don't know why or what happened, my heart feels like as if there's a big bomb drop onto my chest. It's a weird feeling.
I didn't speak to him ever since we had THE BIG FIGHT last year and yes, we're not on any talking terms. No more wishing each other 'Happy Birthday' and all. And of course, a few minutes later, he went offline. Maybe I should just delete him off my list aswell since the emotional hangover is still there although we have broke up for more than 2 years.
I still don't understand why the emotional hangover is still there even when I see somebody who looks him, sounds like him, and worse still, seeing him online. The feeling of love is no longer there but hatred and also some fear of seeing/contacting him.
I should never get myself so deeply involved in any relationship. But I couldn't help it. Maybe it is one of my traits to be like that. When I love, I really do love someone. Relationship problems can affect me as much as global warming is affecting the earth. Sometimes when relationship problems arises, I felt so weak and hopeless. And again a lot of guys is taking advantage of this.
Now that I know I will be here and I can't avoid all these kinda relationship thingy, might aswell I put all my energy and effort to my career now. Love affairs are just too bad for health. One after another, I think there's no such thing as the BIG LOVE or THE ONE or etc. I wouldn't want any relationship problems affecting my life for days, becoming emotional than ever and neglecting my health.
Knowing that I am getting more and more possessive as I grow older, I should avoid being jealous and unreasonable. Hence, I think I will be in more control of my feelings.
The thing is, we can't help falling in love with someone, we can't control the feeling of having a crush on someone. But when things like that happened, to me at least, their problems with their Ex-es will arise or maybe others later during the courtship.
God hail this blog. I love my blog. At least I can tell this here. I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about this out of a sudden to anyone.
Ahhh...at least I feel better now. *Hugs*
I didn't speak to him ever since we had THE BIG FIGHT last year and yes, we're not on any talking terms. No more wishing each other 'Happy Birthday' and all. And of course, a few minutes later, he went offline. Maybe I should just delete him off my list aswell since the emotional hangover is still there although we have broke up for more than 2 years.
I still don't understand why the emotional hangover is still there even when I see somebody who looks him, sounds like him, and worse still, seeing him online. The feeling of love is no longer there but hatred and also some fear of seeing/contacting him.
I should never get myself so deeply involved in any relationship. But I couldn't help it. Maybe it is one of my traits to be like that. When I love, I really do love someone. Relationship problems can affect me as much as global warming is affecting the earth. Sometimes when relationship problems arises, I felt so weak and hopeless. And again a lot of guys is taking advantage of this.
Now that I know I will be here and I can't avoid all these kinda relationship thingy, might aswell I put all my energy and effort to my career now. Love affairs are just too bad for health. One after another, I think there's no such thing as the BIG LOVE or THE ONE or etc. I wouldn't want any relationship problems affecting my life for days, becoming emotional than ever and neglecting my health.
Knowing that I am getting more and more possessive as I grow older, I should avoid being jealous and unreasonable. Hence, I think I will be in more control of my feelings.
The thing is, we can't help falling in love with someone, we can't control the feeling of having a crush on someone. But when things like that happened, to me at least, their problems with their Ex-es will arise or maybe others later during the courtship.
God hail this blog. I love my blog. At least I can tell this here. I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about this out of a sudden to anyone.
Ahhh...at least I feel better now. *Hugs*
June 23, 2008
I am employed!
I am employed people.....YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!!
For the very first time in my life, I gone through 2 interviews and now I am employed....OWH!!!
Come let's go eat lamb steak!
For the very first time in my life, I gone through 2 interviews and now I am employed....OWH!!!
Come let's go eat lamb steak!
June 21, 2008
Fly
Can't people see me happy?
That guy appeared again in my life. Well...as a friend. Puhleeze....I hate him. Yeah he told me about his ex again and again and his confusion.
Why do people's ex loves to give me problems as if Ihave nothing to do in life?
The best solution to this is stop talking to him.
I really would love to fly away from here and never come back.
I wanna flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so badly.
That guy appeared again in my life. Well...as a friend. Puhleeze....I hate him. Yeah he told me about his ex again and again and his confusion.
Why do people's ex loves to give me problems as if Ihave nothing to do in life?
The best solution to this is stop talking to him.
I really would love to fly away from here and never come back.
I wanna flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so badly.
June 19, 2008
F5 = Refresh
Finally after a few days of not being myself. I am back to life. Alive and kicking.
This week:
1. I have to sort out the money for some photographers
2. Go to the bank
3. Tidy up my pig-sty
4. Sort out some university application (Yes, I will get to eat loads of Bratwurst and drink more beer again in 2009/2010)
5. Buy another speaker (The 3rd speaker I just bought a few days back committed suicide on me)
6. Hug all my friends who has been supporting me
7. Haircut..oh maybe next week
8. Wait for phone calls, maybe apply for more better places for employment while waiting for confirmation.
9. Go to the gym
10. Dig all my old books, old clothes, old stuff and donate to charity.
All for this week. Ahhh....it feels great when I know I am getting myself back. Relationship is such a big monster. My heart was shattered again and again by this monster. I nearly gave up. But for now, I am trying to delete all those memories we shared together so I will be happy again.
This week:
1. I have to sort out the money for some photographers
2. Go to the bank
3. Tidy up my pig-sty
4. Sort out some university application (Yes, I will get to eat loads of Bratwurst and drink more beer again in 2009/2010)
5. Buy another speaker (The 3rd speaker I just bought a few days back committed suicide on me)
6. Hug all my friends who has been supporting me
7. Haircut..oh maybe next week
8. Wait for phone calls, maybe apply for more better places for employment while waiting for confirmation.
9. Go to the gym
10. Dig all my old books, old clothes, old stuff and donate to charity.
All for this week. Ahhh....it feels great when I know I am getting myself back. Relationship is such a big monster. My heart was shattered again and again by this monster. I nearly gave up. But for now, I am trying to delete all those memories we shared together so I will be happy again.
June 17, 2008
Broken arrow
Err....my previous post doesn't mean that I really had sex with someone.
Anyway, I am so tired of those relationship problem that I am happy to be single again. So fast. This is like the fastest relationship I've ever had in my whole entire life. Why do guys always have to hurt my feelings just to boast their ego. I don't understand why. One time after another, hurting me deeper and deeper each time. I don't know what they are thinking and I don't know what they are expecting. Can't they be more open and they me how they feel? OMG.
This time is more like being dumped by the roadside by someone. And no, I didn't tear any. Not a single drop of tear. Maybe because it was too fast so it hasn't got into my nervous system yet.
I would love to thank him for making me happy even for a short period of time. Thank you very much!
Once again...I learnt my lesson.
Let's go eat ice-cream shall we, maybe a warm bowl of mushroom soup might help or even some Kebabs. Owh...I need some food to comfort my broken soul.
Anyway, I am so tired of those relationship problem that I am happy to be single again. So fast. This is like the fastest relationship I've ever had in my whole entire life. Why do guys always have to hurt my feelings just to boast their ego. I don't understand why. One time after another, hurting me deeper and deeper each time. I don't know what they are thinking and I don't know what they are expecting. Can't they be more open and they me how they feel? OMG.
This time is more like being dumped by the roadside by someone. And no, I didn't tear any. Not a single drop of tear. Maybe because it was too fast so it hasn't got into my nervous system yet.
I would love to thank him for making me happy even for a short period of time. Thank you very much!
Once again...I learnt my lesson.
Let's go eat ice-cream shall we, maybe a warm bowl of mushroom soup might help or even some Kebabs. Owh...I need some food to comfort my broken soul.
June 16, 2008
Feeling shitty
I felt so shitty right now as if I have had sex with someone I don't know yesterday.
The reason: Unknown
The reason: Unknown
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