Horror

OMG...it's time for horror movie. It means exam time is coming and I know nothing...nada...nichts. Shit. I am in such a big trouble now.

Gone missing

Oh yeah oh yeah...I am back. Been busy like madddddd. When I say maddddd it really means mad. Imagine I only get to rest once every 5 days. Crazy rite? So today I came home, I just collapse on my bed and slept for 4 hours. I feel so refresh now. Ahhhhh....

Ahhhh...come let me tell you some of my experiance while working. Woohoo...number one is the amount of guys you get to talk to....professionally. Haha. It's fun. Some flirted with you and some even winked at you and some u can see them in the store every other week. It's a tough job but I am diverting the negative energy to those guys so it will become positive. LOL. I sound like a pervert now. Like a desperado too...ish ish.

Let me tell you about uni, it's disgusting and yet interesting. The most disgusting part would be having to read thousands of pages of literature without having any idea what it is. I nearly give up many many times. But I have no choice. So I am going with the flow... :(

My another freelance job...hmm...I do whenever I have time. Still fun. In fact, I don't mind doing it on my weekends because I have been doing the same thing for nearly 8 years now.

And the amazing part is, I have been surviving on yogurt for nearly a week now. I have no time to cook and yogurt seems to be the best solution to it. Yikes. I need real food u know. Foood!!! I can't imagine yogurt being my breakfast, lunch and dinner. Seriously...this will never happen back home.

And also now, I am looking forward to move out with the help of an old lady. Definately gonna give her a call tomorrow. I really can't stand living with a pyscho under one roof. He makes my life triple harder than before. God, please bless him. *pray pray*

Other than that, I will be going on a small break to the south of Germany, it's nearby the Czech Republic. I am sure I have passed through there before when I was in Prague last year. But can't remember any details. I need some TLC after being soooo hardworking.

Deep Shit

I think I am in deep shit now.

It's been 9 weeks now and I don't understand a single thing with my studies. I am out of words when someone asked me about what I am studying right now.

Totally in deep shit.

Strength

A lot has happened for the past few weeks.

A lot to make me realized what life is from what I already know.

A lot of those to mix up my emotions, thus making it stronger or weaker than before.

All I can say, my life went back to 0 when my housemate came back from his psycho therapy. A few days back, Monday to be exact, he gave me a 2 page long letter containing his bottled-up unsatisfaction with me. Fine. That's fine. So I sent him back a 2 page reply of my unsatisfaction, mostly blasting him back of the real fact that I have to clean up his mess, etc. He didn't reply. Fine.

Okay good. Now I am living with an enemy. Sounds great huh? Simply great.

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Then comes the story with P. P missed our date for 3 times in a row. I was pissed of course. It was sad. I mean my life now is already hitting the roof, he appeared in my life and then went back to 0. Double the sadness. Lucky that I didn't start off anything with him. Lucky.

I don't know what is wrong with the world these days. Or I am indeed having some kind of bad luck. It's sad huh?

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Other than that, I am losing my aim, my direction of what I want to do. Am I tired from running around? I think I have not run enough. That is how I feel about my life now. Sad sad.

I need extra boost. I really do.

Men

Ahh...it's been such a long time since blog. Well, as usual a lot happened.

But this time, I mean what is going to happen this week is gonna be weird.

I don't know why, I just feel it's gonna be really weird.

If I already know he had slept with x amount of girls, why would I still wanna go on a date with him?

If I already know he is not my type, why would I even want to talk to him?

If I already know he has a different background from where he grew up compared to mine, why would I still agree to spend my weekend with him?

If I already know he is always flying, why would I want to be involved with a guy like him?

If I already know he is so many years older than me, why would I still be interested to tell him what I thought of everything?

If I already know he is of another culture, another country, another colour, why would I still want to keep him around?

If I already know the chances of him cheating on me is higher than Mount Everest, why would I even want to listen to what he said?

If I already know I felt this is just gonna be another tragic story, why would I still want to blog about this?

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I am really exhausted from getting involved with men. This year alone, in this very place, I dated 5 people. Yes, 5. But there's still lack of something every time I went out with them. I don't even want to go on or vice versa. Time will tell I guess. I am still too depress to be involve in a steady one. Jeez, am I normal?

Lil Update

Hey people, it's me again. After weeks of disappearance.

Pheww.......these few weeks was chaotic. I am still having culture shock. I have no idea with the class system, etc etc. Anyway, I m really tired right now, I could just sleep on my laptop.

It has been a hectic week. Pretty hectic but with some free time in between, but it shall be used as time to read articles and texts for studies. Crazy.

I need a full body massage right now. I am going kaputt with not enough sleep. Owh. I felt old.

Lack of updates

Yeah, I blog not so much nowadays. Every week I have a lot of appointments, from Monday till Friday. Thank god somebody created something called The Organizer. Which is pretty much what I have on my hands nowadays to remind me for events and stuff.

I am happy to be back to being busy. Although not for a lot of pay but I am somehow satisfied because I can learn more things despite the depression I have had a few months back.

Uni is going to start soon. I am still waiting for the very important mail from my uni. Hopefully everything goes well. I should say, I might have to be here for 3 years and not 2 years as planned as I wanted to change my course. Not a drastic change, maybe 30% different but better than none.

Tomorrow I have another appointment. This is what I hate. To deal with the government officers. Damn.

Till then, let's see how it goes.

Pass!

I pass my exam!!!

After so much trouble, I finally pass my exam. And now I shall wait for the uni to send me entry letter for my Masters.

A part of me is very happy and apart of me feels worry. It's like I have a feeling that there will be some mix up at the uni for the courses that I applied.

Anyhow, time for ice-cream. Yaay!!!

Updates

Ahh...been really busy.

Latest update:

1) Been working as a professor's assistant at Uni, my job is to correct english texts. Cool huh? I love this job. The downside would be headache for hours and many of those texts were written or translated from another language.

2) Tried being a Sandwich Artist at Subway. Still in probation. Cool huh? I get eat every flavour. Haha. Anyhow, if you come and visit me, you will get 50% off. Great huh? But the not so nice part is to stand for 5-6 hours. Back pain.

3) I have exam coming up next week. And I still HAVE NOT REVISE. Die. I really don't know how.

4) Been freelancing too. With the old job but maybe 10% per month. Haha. Just to show my boss I am still alive. Better than nothing.

5) Social life is kicking back in slowly. I have dates. Haha. More like being forced to go on dates. We shall see what it will become. Probably shitty. Nah...not bothered.

6) My crazy housemate thinks I am crazy. WTF? He is the one with physco probs and now he thought I have. WTF? He told my friend this afternoon and I was shocked to hear that. Thank god, my friend told me about this.

7) I hate to go to those government service/departments in Germany. Rude and impolite. Damn.

Yeah, dats all I wanna say. Time to go to sleep. Yes, at 3am.

Afraid of the future

And again this weird feeling happened to be here again.

What can I say?