June 21, 2008
Fly
Can't people see me happy?
That guy appeared again in my life. Well...as a friend. Puhleeze....I hate him. Yeah he told me about his ex again and again and his confusion.
Why do people's ex loves to give me problems as if Ihave nothing to do in life?
The best solution to this is stop talking to him.
I really would love to fly away from here and never come back.
I wanna flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so badly.
That guy appeared again in my life. Well...as a friend. Puhleeze....I hate him. Yeah he told me about his ex again and again and his confusion.
Why do people's ex loves to give me problems as if Ihave nothing to do in life?
The best solution to this is stop talking to him.
I really would love to fly away from here and never come back.
I wanna flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy so badly.
June 19, 2008
F5 = Refresh
Finally after a few days of not being myself. I am back to life. Alive and kicking.
This week:
1. I have to sort out the money for some photographers
2. Go to the bank
3. Tidy up my pig-sty
4. Sort out some university application (Yes, I will get to eat loads of Bratwurst and drink more beer again in 2009/2010)
5. Buy another speaker (The 3rd speaker I just bought a few days back committed suicide on me)
6. Hug all my friends who has been supporting me
7. Haircut..oh maybe next week
8. Wait for phone calls, maybe apply for more better places for employment while waiting for confirmation.
9. Go to the gym
10. Dig all my old books, old clothes, old stuff and donate to charity.
All for this week. Ahhh....it feels great when I know I am getting myself back. Relationship is such a big monster. My heart was shattered again and again by this monster. I nearly gave up. But for now, I am trying to delete all those memories we shared together so I will be happy again.
This week:
1. I have to sort out the money for some photographers
2. Go to the bank
3. Tidy up my pig-sty
4. Sort out some university application (Yes, I will get to eat loads of Bratwurst and drink more beer again in 2009/2010)
5. Buy another speaker (The 3rd speaker I just bought a few days back committed suicide on me)
6. Hug all my friends who has been supporting me
7. Haircut..oh maybe next week
8. Wait for phone calls, maybe apply for more better places for employment while waiting for confirmation.
9. Go to the gym
10. Dig all my old books, old clothes, old stuff and donate to charity.
All for this week. Ahhh....it feels great when I know I am getting myself back. Relationship is such a big monster. My heart was shattered again and again by this monster. I nearly gave up. But for now, I am trying to delete all those memories we shared together so I will be happy again.
June 17, 2008
Broken arrow
Err....my previous post doesn't mean that I really had sex with someone.
Anyway, I am so tired of those relationship problem that I am happy to be single again. So fast. This is like the fastest relationship I've ever had in my whole entire life. Why do guys always have to hurt my feelings just to boast their ego. I don't understand why. One time after another, hurting me deeper and deeper each time. I don't know what they are thinking and I don't know what they are expecting. Can't they be more open and they me how they feel? OMG.
This time is more like being dumped by the roadside by someone. And no, I didn't tear any. Not a single drop of tear. Maybe because it was too fast so it hasn't got into my nervous system yet.
I would love to thank him for making me happy even for a short period of time. Thank you very much!
Once again...I learnt my lesson.
Let's go eat ice-cream shall we, maybe a warm bowl of mushroom soup might help or even some Kebabs. Owh...I need some food to comfort my broken soul.
Anyway, I am so tired of those relationship problem that I am happy to be single again. So fast. This is like the fastest relationship I've ever had in my whole entire life. Why do guys always have to hurt my feelings just to boast their ego. I don't understand why. One time after another, hurting me deeper and deeper each time. I don't know what they are thinking and I don't know what they are expecting. Can't they be more open and they me how they feel? OMG.
This time is more like being dumped by the roadside by someone. And no, I didn't tear any. Not a single drop of tear. Maybe because it was too fast so it hasn't got into my nervous system yet.
I would love to thank him for making me happy even for a short period of time. Thank you very much!
Once again...I learnt my lesson.
Let's go eat ice-cream shall we, maybe a warm bowl of mushroom soup might help or even some Kebabs. Owh...I need some food to comfort my broken soul.
June 16, 2008
Feeling shitty
I felt so shitty right now as if I have had sex with someone I don't know yesterday.
The reason: Unknown
The reason: Unknown
June 15, 2008
Comparing
Maybe I should not get myself into any relationship yet. Lucky I am not in any steadily.
My heart was crushed when he told me he wants his ex back on the phone with me yesterday, so I pretended to lend a hearing ear as a close friend. How stupid can I be? I don't understand why I am stuck in that situation and pretended to be happy and as if nothing happened.
If men don't undertand women, I don't understand men at all. How can he like 2 people at the same time? Why can't he look forward and don't look back. And why people like to compare me with their Exs? Sad. Not the first time though...I remember clearly how my first Ex compared me with one of his Exs saying that I am different. Hell...he expects every girl to be the same? To have the same attitude? I am different I know, I was brought up differently with loadsa unique things happening in my life and also a very unique background. Even my family tree spreads throughout several countries.
I don't like to be compared. I don't like to hear about Exs of people I like/love/had a crush on. I didn't ask for anything other than that. I think he still can't fully accept the way I am.
Inside me, it hurts deeply.
Lesson learnt: Never to like someone so deeply and get myself hurt as deep as I like him.
.............................................................
This is the ultimate remote-control that every guy wants to have. Sadly it doesn't exist and if it does, it should come in a women-version too. And I will be the first to get it.
June 12, 2008
2 years
Yeah...why am I not sleeping?
I am bored. I am sleepless. I can't sleep.
Just now I had my very first or should I say 2nd official job interview as a uni graduate. I waited 30 minutes inside the waiting room...30 minutes was such a long time until I have no fear at all whatsoever. This interview is like another chit chat session with a stranger because I think I have chatted with enough strangers all my life (in bus-stops, restaurants, toilets, etc) so the fear is no longer there after 30 minutes of waiting.
This company scares me. All of them are super workaholic. When I say workaholic, I really mean "workaholic". Even a workaholic like me (as claimed by those people around me) is not even up to their standard of workaholic-ness. They really work willingly from 9am till 9pm at least. Oh dear! And I was told all of their employees cried before several times. I was like OMG!!! Yeah..tough boss there. All of them are tough and strict in order to succeed.
Why do I always get into these kinda trouble? First I got myself into a course which requires a few times more hardwork than other majors, now nearly a job that requires me to work 10 times as hard as normal people. I am risking myself. Yeah, this is a job that is totally not my major or anything related to me, I think there's no one in my family who even works as one in this profession of consulting. People say consultant make good money, oh yah....if I have to work like a dog like THAT, of course I will get good money.
I am saving up for my masters in Germany. 2 years is all it takes. My my...with that amount of money, I could get a really nice car in Malaysia but I gave up on that coz I felt I need that certificate badly as I am just a normal linguistic student...yeah...the unwanted one. It's just one of my personal achievement that i would like to have with me. My dream since I was young.
Talking about work already scares me. Somehow it made me felt, wahey...I am older and I have more responsibilities to take and also I will be wearing more make-up and heels.
2 years...if they hire me. 2 years...Life is beautiful....so ironic eh?
I am bored. I am sleepless. I can't sleep.
Just now I had my very first or should I say 2nd official job interview as a uni graduate. I waited 30 minutes inside the waiting room...30 minutes was such a long time until I have no fear at all whatsoever. This interview is like another chit chat session with a stranger because I think I have chatted with enough strangers all my life (in bus-stops, restaurants, toilets, etc) so the fear is no longer there after 30 minutes of waiting.
This company scares me. All of them are super workaholic. When I say workaholic, I really mean "workaholic". Even a workaholic like me (as claimed by those people around me) is not even up to their standard of workaholic-ness. They really work willingly from 9am till 9pm at least. Oh dear! And I was told all of their employees cried before several times. I was like OMG!!! Yeah..tough boss there. All of them are tough and strict in order to succeed.
Why do I always get into these kinda trouble? First I got myself into a course which requires a few times more hardwork than other majors, now nearly a job that requires me to work 10 times as hard as normal people. I am risking myself. Yeah, this is a job that is totally not my major or anything related to me, I think there's no one in my family who even works as one in this profession of consulting. People say consultant make good money, oh yah....if I have to work like a dog like THAT, of course I will get good money.
I am saving up for my masters in Germany. 2 years is all it takes. My my...with that amount of money, I could get a really nice car in Malaysia but I gave up on that coz I felt I need that certificate badly as I am just a normal linguistic student...yeah...the unwanted one. It's just one of my personal achievement that i would like to have with me. My dream since I was young.
Talking about work already scares me. Somehow it made me felt, wahey...I am older and I have more responsibilities to take and also I will be wearing more make-up and heels.
2 years...if they hire me. 2 years...Life is beautiful....so ironic eh?
June 10, 2008
Loca loca
Ahhh...I've been busy busy busy
Running to and fro between PJ and KL, meeting up with my old friends, etc etc.
I have an interview coming up this Thursday, and I don't know what to expect. Oh man...too many holidays makes me another person. There're of course some people who cursed me saying that I will fail this interview and all...why some people have to be so bad eh? Just because I am a linguistic student doesn't mean that I am not able to do anything right?
Italy lost to Holland...OMG...I lost a big bet there. I don't normally bet but this time is an exception. Italians dissapoint me. Jeez...now I have to eat bread for a month.
See...I am crapping. I have a lot of things to tell but I don't find it a point to tell it all here because my dramatic life gonna start soon if I pass the interview.
Now I have to get ready to go back to my parent's house before heading back here again. Till then...I LOVE MY LIFE!
Running to and fro between PJ and KL, meeting up with my old friends, etc etc.
I have an interview coming up this Thursday, and I don't know what to expect. Oh man...too many holidays makes me another person. There're of course some people who cursed me saying that I will fail this interview and all...why some people have to be so bad eh? Just because I am a linguistic student doesn't mean that I am not able to do anything right?
Italy lost to Holland...OMG...I lost a big bet there. I don't normally bet but this time is an exception. Italians dissapoint me. Jeez...now I have to eat bread for a month.
See...I am crapping. I have a lot of things to tell but I don't find it a point to tell it all here because my dramatic life gonna start soon if I pass the interview.
Now I have to get ready to go back to my parent's house before heading back here again. Till then...I LOVE MY LIFE!
June 06, 2008
Amazing amazing week
"Be my gf"
"Can you have a relationship with me"
"I want you to be my girlfriend"
Woo...amazing...3 proposals in less than a week. Amazing because I am not even considered as pretty. How on earth...I mean why...they can like someone like me? Truly amazing.
Did I mention all of them are over 30? Yeah...FATE, I call this. Maybe I should try dating someone in his 30s. Time will tell anyway. Somehow...I know I can't accept the 2 of the 3 because both of them:
1) Can't/Don't speak proper english (I know my english is not THAT good but I can't stand people telling me, "My England no good. Me likes you"...OMG!!!)
2) One of them is that high school senior of mine which I feel he's very desperate for a WIFE. MARRIAGE!!! OH man...I am still waiting for my height to grow, but this guy is into making babies...NOOOOO!
3) Isn't it obvious I only like ONE of the 3? The one and only who can make me laugh like a mad pig but we have difficulties meeting each other because I am always flying in and out and he also have that same flying syndrome like me. Makes me smile just by mentioning him but I can't be too happy now because I am cursed. Whenever I am happy, bad things happen. So let it be until I confirmed this one. LOL!
"Can you have a relationship with me"
"I want you to be my girlfriend"
Woo...amazing...3 proposals in less than a week. Amazing because I am not even considered as pretty. How on earth...I mean why...they can like someone like me? Truly amazing.
Did I mention all of them are over 30? Yeah...FATE, I call this. Maybe I should try dating someone in his 30s. Time will tell anyway. Somehow...I know I can't accept the 2 of the 3 because both of them:
1) Can't/Don't speak proper english (I know my english is not THAT good but I can't stand people telling me, "My England no good. Me likes you"...OMG!!!)
2) One of them is that high school senior of mine which I feel he's very desperate for a WIFE. MARRIAGE!!! OH man...I am still waiting for my height to grow, but this guy is into making babies...NOOOOO!
3) Isn't it obvious I only like ONE of the 3? The one and only who can make me laugh like a mad pig but we have difficulties meeting each other because I am always flying in and out and he also have that same flying syndrome like me. Makes me smile just by mentioning him but I can't be too happy now because I am cursed. Whenever I am happy, bad things happen. So let it be until I confirmed this one. LOL!
June 05, 2008
Re-plan
Okay..okay..okay...I know I have been running away from the country for some time but not until so many changes in life.
Oh my gawdddd....Everyone has changed. I still need some time to cope up with the new life here in Malaysia. Everyone is so different. I don't know why, is it because of me or them?
Shocking news everyday...One moment someone tells me someting and I was like "WTF?" or "OH MY GAWDDDDDD...R U SERIOUS?". Everyday since I touched down to my homeland. I can't believe it, this is like greater than the Grand Canyon. And I think I am the one living in the past. I felt so outdated right now as if I am using the first version of IBM computer and everyone else is using the lastest laptop. See the difference? Okay..not so bad...but I do feel like I am flying with the first version of the Wright Brothers' airplane rather than a modern airplane.
I felt so out and unwanted. Just imagine everyday, all my friends are working and I am the one doing nothing. I called my friends and tehy were like..."Out for a drink? I don't want to go, I am tired..." or "I got to work tomorrow you know..." or "I am a working labour now. Tired."
Hmm...looks like it's time for me to change plans again. Yeap...need to plan again, this plan is not working at all.
Oh my gawdddd....Everyone has changed. I still need some time to cope up with the new life here in Malaysia. Everyone is so different. I don't know why, is it because of me or them?
Shocking news everyday...One moment someone tells me someting and I was like "WTF?" or "OH MY GAWDDDDDD...R U SERIOUS?". Everyday since I touched down to my homeland. I can't believe it, this is like greater than the Grand Canyon. And I think I am the one living in the past. I felt so outdated right now as if I am using the first version of IBM computer and everyone else is using the lastest laptop. See the difference? Okay..not so bad...but I do feel like I am flying with the first version of the Wright Brothers' airplane rather than a modern airplane.
I felt so out and unwanted. Just imagine everyday, all my friends are working and I am the one doing nothing. I called my friends and tehy were like..."Out for a drink? I don't want to go, I am tired..." or "I got to work tomorrow you know..." or "I am a working labour now. Tired."
Hmm...looks like it's time for me to change plans again. Yeap...need to plan again, this plan is not working at all.
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