November 24, 2007

Tell me what's the date and time now

I m so confused with the time. It's 3.30 am now and I m going to shower because I think I didn't shower for 2 days already or is it 3 days? I forgot to bring my toothbrush.....again. Hurhurhur...

I went to a shop nearby and I bought some groceries and 2 toothbrushes. I think groceries in Malaysia is pretty expensive compared to here. But eating out is definately cheaper in Malayia. I have not tried any of the restaurants here yet becoz I won't be able to finish everything alone and it will be a waste of money. I can't wait for my friends to come. What is life without people? The answer would be: No life at all.

Today I will be visiting the Altstadt and Kö. And I will be walking there of course. Walking down the streets here is not tiring because it's not hot. I definately prefer the outdoors here.

Okay...time to shower. In Malaysia we do it 2-3 times a day. But here, I felt terrified to shower.

November 23, 2007

Germany - 1st day

Okay....I reached here safely after hours and hours of flight. Met some nice people, and the best part is I can speak german with the taxi driver and he understands me...completely. Wahahahaha...anyway, I don't know what is wrong with me, I felt pretty gloomy just like the weather. Maybe I got a lil tired with the long journey.

It feels like home here just that the weather is cold and the people on the streets are with different skin colour and I am way way smaller than them in many many ways even if I gain weight I will still be way way smaller than them. I like the roads and the buldings because that's the only thing I saw. I m confused with the time zone and I m feeling sleepy at 3pm in the afternoon.

Till then.....

We meet people for a reason

I m in Dubai airport right now. I nearly vommited inside the plane after a very digusting meal called "Nasi Himpit". Don't try that no matter what. After 7 hours of struggling on where to put my legs and head and body, I found temporary peace here. Here I m in the Emirates Business Lounge. Enjoying tonnes of food and drinks. Wahahahahahaha. All these thanks to my weirdness of attracting people lead me to a nice middle-aged woman and so happened that her daughter who's there aswell studied in the same university like I do, just that different course...all that in KLIA. And so happened that her daughter is a good friend of my friend and so we talked endlessly about how small the world is. We got parted inside the place, I had to sit at the back of the plane because of my lovely sit number 49D while theirs is 15 something. Then I found them again in Dubai International Airport and now with her husband (who's working in Dubai) is a frequent flyer with Emirates and they got me in here for FREE. They are flying to Venice...woo....nice.

OMG...another 7 hours plane ride. Next time, don't ever transit, it is very torturing. Never ever transit. Remember that. My next flight would be in 4 hours time and I can't wait to sleep at my hotel room.



Till then....

November 22, 2007

Bye bye Malaysia

Will be leaving the house in a few hours' time. Will I get homesick? Foodsick maybe...

This is a good chance to leave all the emotional baggage and also those problematic people behind for awhile. I felt happy although there's a German paper on Monday. For the very first time in my life I felt happy for an exam. Hehe.

"Don't you get excited?"
"When are you leaving? I m sure you can't sleep for days"

The answer is, "No".
I felt very neutral. No special feelings, no excitement, no emotions.

On the other hand, I hope:

- I don't get to meet weird Arabians or any weird weird stuff during the flight and after the flight
- I can survive winter
- I don't put on weight (please don't put on any weight, nononononononono)
- get a nice watch for my sister (if I don't, she'll probably tear my ear with her nags)
- I get nice hosts (I bought batik for them and tonnes of rare Malaysian biscuits)
- to get Internet connection wherever I go

Okay...I have to get ready now. See ya all in Dubai and then Germany...

November 17, 2007

Unwanted attention....again

It's just sad sometimes to know that so many people pick up on me. You wanna know why? It seems like my name, yes my name, me, myself and I has been a hit topic around this area where I call home, a place where I grew up with my friends, a place where I all my childhood memories were stored. A place where I had my very first crush when I was 4 years old.

I don't mind other people's parents telling my own parents' how stupid their daughter is or how she could end up in the oh-so-prestigious university of the country, what I can't stand most is how and why out of a sudden in these few years, people started to look down on me just because I'm a linguistic student after so much of brain cells burned to be able to speak a few foreign language? I don't understand this at all, this is nonsense. I am not even a celebrity. They think they're SO-DAMN-GOOD in prediction everyone's future saying that my future would be a gloomy one...yada yada...I wonder why they didn't help out with the never ending Iraqi issues or better still...global warming and climate change solution?

Someone...okay....Someone let's call him "Yellow", he's my neighbour and also ex-classmate, he told his parents about me being in a stupid course, and his parents' spread the news (in front of my parents) in a banquet to other people about my stupidity in a stupid course. And I wish he could just keep his mouth shut and study properly instead of having sex with his girlfriend when everyone's studying for that piece of paper. Although a piece of paper qualification doesn't mean much in how you define SUCCESS but at least it's a piece of paper to let you start somewhere.

I think everyone look at me as someone who doesn't have brains or what? I don't know, I don't mind people calling me ugly and stupid but I can be sure I m more SUPERIOR that their mouth. At least I don't pretend in front of my enemies, IF I DON'T LIKE YOU, I WON'T BE NICE TO YOU BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO. Period.

I m hurt. Deeply hurt. Why would everyone here give a BIG DAMN about me of my preference of not liking books, not liking to memorise thing, my preferences, my choices and why why why do I have to be in their topic of conversation? I don't even see them and for some, I don't even know them. And why is my choice of studies be a hit-topic around them?

"Why do you take this weird course?"
"Why study something that people don't wanna study?"
"Why don't you choose something professional like law, business, etc etc?"

When I first started, I DO still tell them why and how and what and who. But....since I've been asked for gazzilion times about that, I would simply reply,
"I wanna marry a german. So that I can eat more Bratwurst, drink more beer and drive a german car."

That's good enough to shut their mouth for years to come. If they still go on (again) with that I would reply them,
"Well, I wanna be a multi-lingualprostitute and serve that country. You know, the more you know the language, the more customers you will get afterall studying is not my cup of tea. And I like get laid while earning Euros. ;)"

I've been nice to them. Really nice. I don't mean to be rude buy I have my limit. Since they like to see me gone bad, or as a BIG FAILURE and that I-should-not-live-on-earth kinda thing, it's such a nice feeling to pull their legs and put in lies just to make them happy in another way. I m enjoying it, especially the "prostitute-statement"

My dad said this to me just now,"This place is bad for you. Go head somewhere else where you can be yourself."

What do you expect me to reply him when he said this to me? I m sorry that I had dissapoint him because I m not a filial daughter, not filial enough I should say. I don't need anymore unwanted attention from other people. I had enough. Really enough.

All I want is to be simple. I feel comfortable in my short pants and T-shirt without make-up laughing like a hyenna while walking along the streets so no one could pay any unwanted attention to me. But I do still get unwanted attention from strangers. Why?

I should turn this into something. Perhaps I should sell insurance to them since I m such a big attention-graber and turn myself as the first millionaire selling insurance. Good idea eh? Nosy people just can't stop being nosy. Busybody @$$h0L35!!!

I m hurt because I don't look like someone intelligent, I m not pretty, I look poor, I look like I am meant to be "The Failure". Owh...I felt so hurt. Damn it.

November 12, 2007

Damn

Just when I thought life would give me chocolates and sweets....


I got fined. RM100....that's about 20 Euro and there goes my lunch. Now I have to count everything in Euro, have to get use to the system before I spend like mad. That means bread for lunch and dinner. Serves me right!

Those money diggers! Filty money diggers! It's so weird because those people writting the summons were so damn quick. Quick when it comes to money but slow in service.. I swear it was only 3 minutes. 3 minutes!!!! I got no spare change with me. How can they treat me like that? I need at least 5 minutes to change my money into coins rite? Damn it. Coins...!!! Just because of 60 cents and a few minutes I have to eat bread.

#$%^*()^&!!!! Arghhhhhh

November 10, 2007

Solution

Finally, after yonks and eons of emotional distress, I've changed my perspective on life ...completely. Maybe it will only last for a few days or so, it's a good thing for me, I think. I m trying to keep it up for yonks and eons to come, hopefully.

What made me change? One word. Motivation.

I will no longer feel hurt if my family goes on a vacation without me (or without telling me), my sisters' plan with a new cafe or steakhouse whatever you called it (because I will always be the last person to know), hurtful relatives, crazy people around me, I will take it as a stepping stone to get what I want in life. My dreams.

When I was growing up, I have always wanted to conquer the world in some ways. I know it's pretty silly but that's me. That motivates me to go on and face challenges at ease. I love challenges, I love to be challenged. Well I should say "used-to like that a lot". Again, that was yonks and eons ago when I m still as innocent as a turtle.

"What is wrong with me now? Why am I like that?,"I asked myself.

That makes me wonder. I would say it all began at 16. With some personal problems with my parents. I couldn't understand them, they couldn't understand me kinda thing.

At 17, I was the youngest employee my company had ever employed. I know nothing about the working world, i.e; the back stabbing, work politics, etc. Money was really easy back then. Some say I earn more than a manager but things had change for now. I wish I could turn back time for this one.

At 18, I fell so deeply in love with someone which I would never have guessed it will end up like that. Innocence. My first ever "very steady" relationship (which eventually will lead to a marriage if I don't dump him). I thought an older guy would have a more matured thinking compared to my peers. But that failed to no avail.

At 19, I started to take drastic measures in improving myself. I've tonnes of self-improvement books, went for classes, took advices from people (some advices are really bad), etc etc. But still I have no interest with studies at school except for the Business paper because the teacher likes me a lot and loves to ask me general knowledge questions which makes me looks smarter than others in class. Ah...the good old days. Now I should be thankful if I can tell you the answer for 2+3=?

At 20, uni life begans. All I want is a pass, not an "A". So that means, I m the "stupidest" compared to my ex-schoolmates who scores more than 3.8 over 4.0. I m still the happy tart outside and a gloomy tart inside. People who just knew me thought I m a very playful, forever-happy, innocent that kinda girl (because they don't read my blog and they don't know my emotions). Balancing work and studies? Tough but fun.

At 21, I think I broke up with my ex this time rite? Or was it when I was 20? You see, I can't remember anything about him now because I have totally let go, everything about him. Post-breakup stuff is really draggy and crazy but then now it's gone. Rejoice!

Along the way, I've met interesting people (not those weird ones), I've met loadsa new friends, nice and caring ones which money can't buy. A good friend is like a nice song, you wouldn't want it to end. But keeping in touch with each other is the tough thing as we're busy with our lives and stuff. But it's good to have them. Thank you my friends for being so understanding and nice. ;)

Now I am 22. Can't believe it I m that old already. I m on hiatus now from work to focus on my studies (yeah..."focus on my studies", you know what I mean). Being away from work makes me realised that
- my grandmother is getting old
- my sisters are growing up
- I m going to graduate and work full-time
- I should change to become a better person

So, I am looking forward to this trip to Germany as a soul-searching trip to find what I really want in life. Maybe I will realise and appreciate things that I've never really care when I m there. Some people here said that I will suffer there because I have everything here (what they really mean is the fact that I have to cook and do the laundry and stuff). They forgot that I can take care of myself when I have to.

Now that I know the reasons for being so negative for the past years, I m diverting it into a positive energy. Let's get the positive energy flowing...although (no doubt) I will still be posting about the weird people that I met along the way, afterall nearly all my encounters are weird and funny.

November 09, 2007

Let's learn Geography

Let's start with the globe. This is the globe. Our lovely planet. We all knew that.
The red line shows the distance between Malaysia and Germany. Which means I will be flying across the globe, half of earth. Woahhhhh. But before that I will transit in Dubai first. So a quarter and then half of the globe before I reach Germany. I've never been so far away from home for so long (for more than a month).


Thanks to Google Earth. I love Google Earth. Muakkkks!!!

And this is Germany. It lies in the heart of Europe. Yeah, we all knew that...I know, but some kids don't know.


My Destination: Duesseldorf


The city. That long brown colour thing on the left is the Rhine River. You know that river in Grimm's Fairytale? Yeah, that's the river.


The first yellow pin that you see is my hotel for the first few days, very strategic, lies in the heart of the city and best of all they provide FREE WIFI in their rooms...you know I can't live without internet... and that's the University that I will attend for about a month.


I know I will have trouble with the map and stuff. Me and my friends got lost in Cambodia before. I hope I can read maps this time. Oh wait, there's a saying women can't read maps rite? I will prove you wrong. *hopefully*


My host family is somewhere there. I've been searching for hours for my hosts' place but I couldn't find it.


And till now I m still searching for that....it's so damn big. Arghhh....

November 05, 2007

Frying the fry

This semester...the 5th for me. I fried my exam papers. I fried my brains aswell.

8 papers in 4 different languages? That's what I call madness. Russian nearly kill me. At least I know Cyrillic, it took me ages to know all 33 of them. Crazy.

а
б
в
г
д
е
ё
ж
з
и
й
к
л
м
н
о
п
р
с
т
у
ф
х
ц
ч
ш
щ
ъ
ы
ь
э
ю
я

tadaaaaa.....

I don't wanna take anymore foreign language next semester. I m going crazy. Language crazy. Although I had a dream to become Mezzofanti one day, I gave up. German language is enough for me for now. Although I did some damage to my english, malay and chinese proficiency while learning german language, I felt happier to have it inside my brain. Minus the literature part. Talking about that, I read so much on "Faust 1" and "Kabale und Liebe", it didn't came out for exam. My my...what a waste. And that very clever Nathan came out again. You know how much I hate that story? No one knew....Fine.

4 more to go till temporary freedom!
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Friends are so unpredictable....again...yes again. Did I mention again? And again...arghhhhh

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I think I m insane sometimes. I talk to the wall and chairs and then I laugh with them over tea. Is it me or is it because of the exam? I m so tired of telling you people that I hate exams that I don't feel like telling it again but if I don't I will start talking to the lamp post outside the house. Maybe I should talk to human more?

November 01, 2007

Curse

Yes, it's me again. Hor hor hor....exam blues makes me blog, eat and surf more. And guess what I found today? I was looking for some notes on the internet for some certain subjects and then I stumbled upon 2 blogs from my university friends. Not really close to them but we know each other. Wooo....hidden secrets...like in some mystery novel. So many things...and yet I m so ignorant. Well, I m not a busybody. I don't dig people's dirt and I m not interested in their life, that's until today. Only for today. So I read the whole blog, and I wonder again. We're in the same university, studying inside the same building, and why do they look so happy and why we (me and my coursemates) look so gloomy? Because we're cursed.

Signs that we're cursed:
- All male lecturers love to create problems for us. I repeat, not the female lecturers but the male lecturers
- We are terrified of our own lecturers (we will run and hide whenever we encounter any) because they will ask us for homework and loadsa uni-related stuff
- We're stupid
- Assignments are meant to be finish on that same day (without the sun...wee hours in the morning before the dateline). We don't have the tendency to start our assignments earlier.

We called that the department curse. Only applies to our department.

Hence my time here. Muahahahhaha....I just finished a few online games. Games makes me happy. And now I feel sleepy. So, I better sleep first. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz